Inflicting My Child Upon You, Volume #25,338

kneecap.jpg

Because, by God, it’s my Web site. If you click here, you’ll see Athena sing the informative and emphatic “Planet Song,” with music and lyrics by Athena Scalzi. And if that hasn’t caused you to scurry away screaming, indulge in the gripping narrative tone poem “I Broke My Knee,” another original work, which recounts Athena breaking said knee. Actually, she just scraped it, but what good is art, if not to exaggerate to great effect? I mean, Grendel was probably a wounded bear or something. You know what I’m talking about.

Bear in mind that both of these songs are meant primarily for grandmotherly consumption (as well as the consumption of other family), so you can be entirely excused if you’re less than overwhelmed by Athena’s musical and lyrical gifts. On the other hand, let’s roll you back to five years old and see how you do. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Comments

  1. Scott says:

    That’s not bad really. But I think I prefer some of her older work. You know, before she sold out her fans for gaudy fame, and huge record sales figures.

  2. Mary says:

    So when is this going up on TRL and what number do I use to vote? And is it OK if I split my time between Athena and Eminem’s “Mosh”?

  3. Mitch Wagner says:

    She has already entirely surpassed my musical talent.

  4. Jon Hansen says:

    I see you’ve decided to derail her political career early, by propagating this to the public now. I can just see the campaign commericals now in 2036: “Athena Scalzi, known regressive, sings that no one could ever live on Pluto. If we were as shortsighted as her, we’d still be living in caves!”

    I kid, I kid.

  5. Karl says:

    Very cool. I’ll have to document my kids singing some of their songs.

  6. JamesG says:

    Ok, now that is just one of cutest posts ever. Your daughter is just absolutely adorable.

  7. Tripp says:

    Totally excellent!

    It reminds me of the time my young daughter decided to write a song. She started with ‘wish’ and ‘fish,’ stopped, pondered, then limped ahead with ‘dish’ before grinding to a halt.

    Rhymes are hard!

  8. sam young says:

    john, your kid is unbearably cute. we’re talkin’ head-explodey cute.

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