The Missus

Mrs. Scalzi rocking out in my office yesterday:

You know, if any of you ever hear me kvetching about my wife in any way, I hope you will do me the favor of immediately pummeling me with an athletic sock filled with hard, unripened oranges. I will deserve no less.

The coolest thing about my wife? The fact that she’s unspeakably hot is the absolute least interesting thing about her. Yes, I know I don’t deserve her. But then, who does?

18 thoughts on “The Missus

  1. “The coolest thing about my wife? The fact that she’s unspeakably hot is the absolute least interesting thing about her. Yes, I know I don’t deserve her. But then, who does?”

    That’s exactly what I think about my girlfriend. I guess some people are just lucky :D

  2. Well, depending on the wife, it certainly could be a bad word. It just doesn’t seem likely in this case.

    By the way, hubba hubba.

  3. But the real question is: Does she take offense at you calling her hot?

    I only ask because mine wishes I wouldn’t, but that’s because she evidently never hears when I call her beautiful, gorgeous, funny, etc.

    And as you know, sometimes, it just fits.

  4. I too can personally vouch for the fact that strugling artists, poets (or “writers” in your case – I’ve read your poetry) and musicians inexplicably (and I say inexplicably because let’s admit it, we all have faces made for radio) end up with some of the hottest babes.

    The only thing I can think of as a possibility for such an unlikely pairing of myself with my wife (as appears to be the case with you and yours as well) was explaned by Jessica Rabbit when asked why such a hot dame went for the likes of her beau Roger: “He makes me laugh.”

  5. “Does she take offense at you calling her hot?”

    Well, if she did, I certainly wouldn’t do it here. She reads the Whatever on a daily basis. And she can kick my ass.

    I think if Krissy ever got the impression that I valued her primarily because she is physically attractive, then she might be annoyed. As it is one factor out of many, it’s not an issue.

    Also, let’s be honest; we all like hearing our partner finds us physically desirable, especially when one has been together as one’s partner long enough that one might actually be taken for granted. It does happen. So it’s nice to be reminded that one is not being taken for granted.

  6. “The only thing I can think of as a possibility for such an unlikely pairing of myself with my wife (as appears to be the case with you and yours as well) was explaned by Jessica Rabbit when asked why such a hot dame went for the likes of her beau Roger: “He makes me laugh.” ”

    That pretty much explains our marriage. Diane’s a sweet woman about whom I’ve only heard badmouthing from a parasitic former roommate. (We dumped said roommate in the boonies like an unwanted cat. Ironically, we worked to find her cats homes.) I am an ill-tempered and admittedly arrogant prima donna whose only redeeming quality in Diane’s eyes is that I make her laugh.

    Though sometimes, I think she’s laughing at me and not with me.

  7. I, too, am lucky enough to be sharing my life with an unusually beautiful woman. Unfortunately, she’s notoriously camera shy, and so I don’t get to share her beauty (read: brag about my good fortune) on all the internets.

    K

  8. John,

    You’ve really got it together.

    You don’t want to be stuck up, of course, but I hope you know that you deserve each other.

    I’m just saying.

  9. YOU… Thats who. John, your the great guy who deserves a “HOT” & wonderfully sweet woman like Krissy!!! You two are a great example of what we all want for ourselves in relationships. Keep up the good work guys. I love you much.

  10. Sheesh… in my past experience, especially lately here in lovely Los Angeles, all the “unspeakably hot” women have had that as their MOST interesting attribute.

    Which is okay, because “very cute” is much more my speed, and cute girls tend to be much more like human beings as opposed to mannequins.

    Yer a lucky dog, Johnny, a lucky dog indeed! :) I aspire to be so lucky…

This is the place where you leave the things you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s