Daily Archives: May 7, 2005

Why One Does Not Ask Rhetorical Questions in the Scalzi Household

This just happened.

ENTER ATHENA, amused with herself.

ATHENA

Hey daddy!

ME

Yes, sweetheart?

ATHENA

(mischeviously)

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

ME

You know, I actually wrote an article about that.

(goes to bookshelf, pulls down the book for which I wrote the article, goes to the page the article is on)

ME

Says here that woodchucks do chuck wood, if you give them wood to chuck, which researchers at Cornell have in fact done. Also, naturalist Richard Thomas estimated that if woodchucks chucked as much wood as they chuck dirt while making their homes, it would be 35 cubic meters, or about 700 pounds. So there you are.

ATHENA
(silent for a moment, then)

You’re really no fun, daddy.

(stomps out)