Not the blog. I’m actually posting from the road, as part of my fabulous and action-packed professional life as Laurel Halbany, Esq. It’s a hundred freakin’ degrees here, and I’m hiding in my air-conditioned hotel room, smacking myself in the head for having packed a wool suit. Fashion sense, thy name is somebody else’s.
I guess I qualify as a “professional writer” if that means “getting paid for having had something published in a real magazine or book,” to the tune of one (1) short story; lots of bits here and there, some paid and some not, in fanzines and gaming books and on the Web. Most of the writing I get paid to do involves saying things like “hereinbefore” and “triable issues of material fact clearly exist”; but I refuse to assault your tender eyes with such language any further, Gentle Reader.
I hornswoggled Mr. Scalzi into letting me be your Tuesday entertainment by promising to write more stuff like the penis post and not so much with the griping about the asbestos bill. Rumors that I sold my pet cat into an unspeakable fate for the privilege of guest-blogging will be summarily denied.
And the prize for the first mention of cat sodomizing by a guest blogger goes to…
(Well, it had to happen eventually)
Oh! Oh! Oh! I’m so excited that you’ll be guest-blogging.
No heretofores, inasmuches, or, gods forbid, assuming arguendos. Cat sodomizing is fine. Well, no, actual cat sodomizing is so not fine. But blogging about it doesn’t really bother me.
It’s summer Laurel, what were you thinking packing a wool suit to begin with?
Unless they’ve sent you to Alaska for depo’s rather than the usual Texas.
Dork.
Hey, not everybody can pull off a linen suit! It takes a special somebody to wear wrinkled clothes convincingly.
Allison, you give me way too much fashion-planning credit.
A great alternative to annoyingly wrinkled linen is intentionally wrinkled calcutta cloth. Have it cut up into one of those banded-collar, loose-fit trouser, East-Indian-style ensembles and it can pass for the more formal end of business-casual. Cool, comfy, no worries about wrinkles and you can pull of that whole “Too rich to compy with fashion dictates” mystique without showing up in Goth gear.
(just adding comment to keep this comment thread open — for whatever reason threads less than a week old turn into moderated threads at the turn of the month)