Daily Archives: November 29, 2006

Oh My God! It’s the Zombie Patrick Henry!

zombiepatrickhenry.jpg

Oh, don’t look so shocked. You knew this was coming.

Also, the target of Zombie Patrick Henry’s ire would in fact be Newt Gingrich, for being yet another schmoe promoting the “terrorists hate our freedoms, and that’s why we have to ditch the freedoms” mindset. Note to Gingrich: The expiration date on that particular school of thought was last election day. You’ve just performed the policy wonk version of wearing white shoes after Labor Day. Good job.

I hadn’t heard of the Dennis Praeger thing, actually, before the thread on the last entry, but having read it now, it’s so clear that the man is so jam-full of ignorance about the Constitution of the United States that once the Zombie Patrick Henry has finished his beatdown on Newty, he’ll shuffle over to Prager’s place and chew on his spine as well.

However, in neither circumstance will the Zombie Patrick Henry eat their brains. He may be a zombie, but he has standards.

Must. Not. Destroy. Computer.

I just had one of those “You’re writing a long entry and then the computer freezes up and eats it all” moments, about which the less said the better for my blood pressure. I could re-write the thing, but I think I’d rather tongue-bathe the crap I pulled out of the sink earlier today.

Instead, let’s make it a game: I’ll give you the title of the entry I was writing; you tell me if you can identify who I was writing about and why. If you get it right, oh, I don’t know, I’ll give you a shiny penny.

Here’s the title:

Yet Another Fat-Assed Coward For the Zombie Patrick Henry to Totally Kick the Shit Out of When He Rouses Himself From His Virginia Grave

Got it? Now: Who was I writing about, and why?

Go!

A Small and Disturbing Moment in Home Maintenance

I snaked one of the bathroom drains.

I may never. Stop. Screaming.

I mean, honestly. Hideous monsters must be shedding into our sinks, because what came out of that drain had nothing to do with any of the humans who live here. I doubt it was even mammalian.

To reiterate: Gaaaaaaaah.

The tub drain needs snaking, too.

Somebody hold me.