Now what I want to know is why you decided to put it behind a picture I have of Athena as an infant, i.e., some place where I wasn’t really ever going to look except when thinking “well, I know it can’t possibly be here, but I might as well check, because then I can say I looked everywhere.”

Honestly, I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking, sometimes.

Remember that if you live in or near Cincinnati, and you are wondering what it is you should do with yourself this evening, that I’ll be at the Joesph-Beth bookstore tonight starting at 7pm. What will I do there? Well, I figure it will be a delightful melange of over-caffeinated blatheration, followed by a mime show based on the State of the Union. You know, the usual. Honestly, I never prepare for these things. I just show up and ask people how they want me to entertain them. The Joseph-Beth Web site maintains that I’m going to sign books, so I guess I’ll definitely do that. Provided, you know, people buy books and want me to sign them. Otherwise I’ll just sit there with a pen and an expectant look on my face as people walk by, trying to avoid making eye contact. We authors live for that.

Also, as a reminder, I’m planning to give away something while I’m there to one of the people who shows up view me in my discombobulated glory. Which person will it be? How should I know? I haven’t the slightest idea who will show up. But if you don’t show up, I can say it won’t be you.

Hey, look! Apparently there’s “a lot of buzz” around my appearance tonight, according to Cincinnati.com’s Sara Pearce. Why, yes. Yes, there is. See, now you definitely want to come out. It’s where all the cool kids will be. Because the kids, they love a State of the Union mime show.

For those of you who took advantage of the Sam Sale I told you about the other day, Bill Schafer of Subterranean Press tells me that the sale netted more than $4,000 in support of Sam’s family, and that he went ahead and rounded up the contribution to $5,000. That’s some good work, folks. Enjoy your new reading material, bathed as it is in moral goodness.

Where the hell did you hide my wallet?

Well?