Last week, as you’ll recall, I ran a contest to see what contest I would have to give away a copy of Coffee Shop. And now – at last! — the time has come for that contest to be run.
So: Want a free copy of my sold-out-before-publication book, You’re Not Fooling Anyone When You Take Your Laptop To a Coffee Shop: Scalzi on Writing? Here’s what you do:
1. Imagine I have released a book in the year 2009.
2. Imagine you really really really hate it.
3. Write a review that expresses the full extent of your loathing. Post it in the comment thread to this entry.
4. Extra points for being mercilessly and gratuitously cruel. Even more extra points if you quote excerpts, and even more extra points if the excerpts actually read like me.
5. Post the review here by 11:59:59 Eastern, Thursday, March 8, 2007.
I will read the “reviews” and pick my favorite; that person shall win the coveted copy of Coffee Shop. I’ll announce the winner by next Monday.
Now, two things:
* One scathing review per participant. So make it good.
* Remember that this scathing review is for a book I have not written. Please do not post scathing reviews of books I have written, even if, in fact, you think those books actually kinda suck. Among other things, reviews of books I have actually written will be disqualified from consideration for the prize. I may also delete them simply to keep the thread on topic.
Now, you may ask: What sort of horrible book have I written that you will hate so damn much? Well, I leave that up to you; I am sure you all, in your fertile imaginations, can imagine any number of ways in which I could well and truly suck. Frankly, I can’t imagine you folks will need any help working on that one. I’m a pretty big target after all. So fire away.
I can’t wait.