High up on today’s list of people who make me roll my eyes: These New Yorkers who decided to live part-time in the country and then get spooked by the fact that it’s dark and their house is making noises and there are, like, animals out there in the woods. Then they get back to New York and can relax, because, as we all know, nothing bad ever happens at night in New York City.
Smack. Them. All.
I just have to believe that none of them quite comprehended just how jelly-filled this article makes them all look. Oh noes! A raccoon! I must defend myself with an $8,000 lighting system! For God’s sake. Just go back into town and never go above midtown ever again. Simple.