58 thoughts on “And Now, The “After” Photo

  1. Did you take that photo from atop a rickety stack of bookslosion where the loveseat used to be?

    And how will you manage without the Coke Zero?

  2. Yes, your wife puts up with quite a bit.

    Allright, what’s going on with that lampshade? Nice view from the window. And cool baseball mobile thing. Not exactly Alexander Calder, but nice.

  3. Chang/not Chang:

    Ghlaghghee is fine.

    Dan Bailey:

    Clearly, if I can’t find it, I don’t need it.

    Clay:

    Coke Zero is in the mini-fridge, under the desk.

    KWF:

    Those are convention badges.

  4. Have I mentioned my wife is made of awesome?

    That the results are achieved with you still able to type and still saying nice things about Krissy says all that and then some. Confirmed by the con badges still being decoratively draped, and not summarily subjected to “neat” standards and/or exile. :-)

  5. I hope Krissy’s organization mojo can travel through the tubes, ’cause I’m about to attempt to clean up my own office before heading out for New Year’s festivities. I’ve got three hours. Pray for me.

  6. Sara:

    She did it. My definition of “clean” and hers are two entirely separate things, and me doing it would involve getting to my level, and then just moving stuff around in the hope that some random configuration of objects would satisfy her. Which it never would.

  7. We are collectively scared of Mr. Scalzi’s wife. Please keep her away from the eastern seaboard. Thank you.

  8. Somebody has earned a big bunch of flowers. Not flowers from the neighbors garden either. From an actual florist. The best thing about women is the fact that they put up with us men. PS Did she just shake her head when she found out you shared that photo with the masses?

  9. If you will pardon the fanboy moment, I trust this could not have been faked, since no skip drive could overcome that kind of change in the universe.

  10. If she ever gets bored with The Other Job, she could seriously do that full time. And I bet folks would pay her a lot of money.

    Of course, being a Freelance Crap Organizer isn’t as stable as a 9 to 5, so that’s probably right out. But just in case.

  11. That picture (well, the combination of the before and after) just made me exclaim to my best friend and office mate (the same person — yes, I am that lucky), “I NEEEEEEED John Scalzi’s wife!!!” That got me a weird look, I can tell you. Anyway, you are a lucky man, Mr. Scalzi. And you happen to be willing to lend Krissy out, I pay nicely in cookies and cake.

  12. I think Scalzi just described my cleaning theory completely and pithily in comment #16. He should do this writing stuff professionally. He’s got potential.

  13. Yesterday, I came home from work and Evil Rob had cleaned. And vacuumed. And while there’s still stuff on the coffee table, that is Made Of Win.

  14. My study looks like that too!

    Underneath the mess.

    You know what I’m going to have to do tomorrow, don’t you.

  15. HOLY HECK! Forget making extra money by putting ads on the site, just rent out your wifes freakishly amazing cleaning skills.

  16. I envy your wife’s organizational abilities. I would kill to be able to make my room look like that. It seems like a large volume of stuff is just plain missing, though. Did she throw it out, find another place for it, or vaporize it into thin air?

  17. Krissy is simply too good to be an unmodified human. She is the prototype from which the paler character of Jane Sagan was sketched, and her person comprises an arsenal of Weapons of Mess Destruction.

    BTW, the brightened /\ /\ on the carpet in front of the drummer’s stool(?) is a nice touch. Reflection, or did Krissy sign her work?

    M: The Mark of Mess Destruction

  18. I bow down before Krissy. I can clean and organize, but I’ve got nothing on those mad skilz. Plus, you should have taken “during” shots as we did a couple years ago when we helped my Dad clean his office at work.

    Just out of curiosity, were you allowed in the room while she was working?

  19. How much does she charge for housecalls? And is your brain this organized now? I need my brain straightened out more than my desk.

  20. Krissy’s miraculous ability to clean the national disaster area that was your office proves that there is a God. I know who needs to be the next head of FEMA.

  21. She is indeed! Now, how quickly will your wife be collecting your life insurance money? Assuming of course that the room devolves to it’s previous state. Or is it ‘turn over a new leaf’ time?

  22. I am proud of myself for correctly guessing the answers to 3 of the 4 questions that you answered in post #6. (I failed on the cant find it / don’t need it theory).

    Can we play some more? If so, then:

    A) Is that a baseball on top o’ the computer? Autographed by someone or caught at a MLB game or sumthin?

    #2) almost everything showing in the after picture was already there, just underneath the other stuff that is now absent. Did all that other stuff get scrambled into individual molecules a la Mike TV and miniaturized into the desk drawer?

    3) With Chris Hawley’s question (#36): is that M on the carpet a reflection from the throne? OR, tiny carpet crop circles created by some of the more mischievous of the molecules who escaped?

  23. I’d call Photoshop, except that it would take almost more work to magic it clean in the computer than it would in real life.

    Still, I see pixels…

  24. Ok, lurkers and commentors, how many of us opened a 2nd browser window to put the two pics side by side? Highlights For Kids magazine trained us for this excercise. Luckily, John was nice enough to take the 2nd photo from very close to the same exact angle. Thanks for that, John.

    Who knows what ARE those two white things, possibly in plastic bags, on the right edge of the before pic (almost halfway up the right side o the photo)???

  25. I think your wife is made of something far more powerful than awesome. She literally has done the work of twenty men… in a day… with you around in the house.

    That should put her on the fast track to sainthood.

    By the way, my girlfriend’s idea of cleaning my messy office is roughly akin to holding a gun to my head and saying coldly “clean, now.”

  26. #48 Juan Herrera said:
    ]Ok, lurkers and commentors, how many of us opened a 2nd
    ]browser window to put the two pics side by side?
    xv (image viewer/enhancer), both for B/A comparison and to clarify the cover of book atop ToBeRead stack.

    ]Who knows what ARE those two white things, possibly in plastic ]bags, on the right edge of the before pic (almost halfway up the
    ]right side o the photo)???
    *stumped* *fx type="music" tune="Jeopardy theme"*
    *scribbles* */fx*

    What are faces absent from Mt. Rushmore of S. Clemens & D. Webster?
    *fx type="sound" name="audience-groan"/*

    Seriously, they do look like face sculptures, especially after histogram correction is applied. And, unless my eyes are completely shot, there are three variant frames of The Sexiest Picture Ever Taken stuffed into the picture frame/noteboard in the lower right corner.

    May the new year – 2008 Edition, brought to you by BaconCat™ – be Scalzirific for all of you!

  27. Wow. You were so disorganized that you kept buying multiple copies of the same book! Nice of her to stack all those up for you, although she might have asked why it is you keep purchasing copies of that one with the sky-blue cover. Yeesh.

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