Blathering Lockdown: Day Four

BLATHER TEST:

Is the book done? NO

Blather limiter:
ON

Your question for the day:
What’s the name of your next band?

The name of my next band: Platelets of Phlegm.  It came to me yesterday while I was coughing.

Enjoy coming up with band names. See you tomorrow.

123 thoughts on “Blathering Lockdown: Day Four

  1. One of the bits I really liked from the Illuminatus Trilogy was where they dedicated a couple of pages to just random band names.

    My band: Pizza for Breakfast

  2. I was thinking about this a couple of years back. My first idea was String Theory – a band comprised entirely of string instruments. Unfortunately, the only instrument I play is the drums. So I thought maybe Chaos Theory – a hardcore punk band.

    This was during my OMGPHYSICS! phase. If you couldn’t tell ^_^

  3. I usually use The Burning Business Cards for Guitar Hero and sometimes in stories I’m working on, when music-related.

  4. In my younger days, I always thought that “Screaming Lung Tissue” would be the best punk band title. But now that I’m older, I think that ” The Blue Pill Screamers” would fit the bill.

  5. Each year Dave Rickards of the local morning show Dave, Shelly, and Chainsaw compiles a list of band names he’s come up with over the past year. Can’t find this year’s, but maybe if you asked him nice.

    My band names?

    The Nine Year Old as Klingon
    Cats are Chaos
    Confuzzled by Search Terms
    Stream of Consciousness Deconstructed
    Lassie the Transvestite Bow Wow
    When Porn had Panache
    Sex with a Loofa
    Hopeful Monsters for Punctuated Equilibrium
    Bush the Second Rate Socialist
    No Child Allowed to Learn
    Chronic Constipation Through Super Glue Colonics
    Jerked Around By Porn Sites
    Puns and Hoses
    Some Sort of Sexual Innuendo is My New Band
    I’m Having Hilary’s Baby
    Self Loathing Twee for Rudy Guliani
    Beagles in Pitbull Drag

    (That should be enough for now.)

  6. Dirtstar, because A) it sounds kind of cool B) it sounds like a proper band name and C) its obscure slang meaning is ‘anus’.

    The first two are important because if you actually name your band “Dogsex Bloodfart Catapult” or “Janet Is Ten Feet Tall” nobody who’s not already a fan will ever voluntarily come to see you play or listen to your music.

  7. And You Shall Know Us by Our Trail of Breadcrumbs. We’d play “Stomachache” Metal for kids and our breakout hit would be “Mary Had a Little Lamb … with Orzo.”

  8. Phloozees
    Sell Outs
    Quonk
    Mudness
    The Miders from Spars
    Stand Clear
    Persistence of Vision (with thanks to J Varley)

  9. I’ve always thought “Dr. Afterbirth and The Electric Fetus” would be a cool name for a band.

    Does anyone know if there IS a bad with this name?

  10. A friend of mine wants someone to take Temporary Sanity, so that’s open.

    Brill Cream and the Greasers – rockabilly
    Blind Potato Jenkins and the Delta Daddies – blues
    Societal Decay – techno
    The Bollix – punk
    Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew – because there is not nearly enough pirate hip hop out there.

  11. My friends and I actually discussed this at my wife’s celebratory birthday dinner last night, and decided our next band name would be:

    Drunk Dial the Babysitter.

  12. Dinosaur Sodomists
    Laparoscopic Cholecytectomy
    Colorless Green Thoughts Sleep Furiously
    One Grunch But The Eggplant
    Quango

  13. The Denture Brothers Philharmonic (aka Lawrence Welk’s future)
    He’s Dead, Jim (mathcore)
    Stealing Columbus (Indy rock)
    The Entangled Photons (jazz fusion)
    Tragic Mollusk (goth metal)

  14. Two bands I was actually in during my misspent youth (both of which, umm, disbanded in less than a year):

    The 21cm Band (all physics/chemistry guys… nerd triple entendre, as we did a lot of contrapuntal stuff)

    Radio Free Albemuth

  15. Beat Napoleon

    Because I had a goat-cheese-and-beet-napoleon at a party last night.

    Not because I’m short. Really.

  16. I would name my group after signs that I see in the mountains like “deer crossing,” “falling rock,” “steep turn,” etc…. the possibilities are endless.

  17. Simon, I think that second one is a little too long to be catchy -“There was another good one I thought of the other day but I forget what it was.”

  18. I would name my group after signs that I see in the mountains like “deer crossing,” “falling rock,” “steep turn,” etc…. the possibilities are endless.

    I’m gonna go all Aussie on your ass, Erik. How about “Wombat Crossing.”

  19. This may sound stupid, I always thought “This Bag Is Not a Toy” would be a good name. I don’t know why. Maybe I fell asleep with one on my head one time…

  20. Shallow Affect

    Blunt Trephine

    Halfway to Transcendence

    Lost in the Endless Sky

    Synthetic Satisfaction

    Matchstick Cathedral

    Billy and His Band

  21. In college, my friends and I always talked about starting a band called “No Left Turn” and calling our first album “Right on Red.” But then it occurred to us that no one really had enough musical talent to bother.

  22. Shat.
    Because who conjugates that Anglo-Saxon monosyllable correctly nowadays? I could probably get it past the FCC in primetime.

  23. In high school during the Reagan 80’s we thought we could name our punk band

    Maggie Thatcher’s Douche

    Navel Lint Suprise was our 2nd choice

  24. Hey John, how about instead of asking us silly but entertaining questions you ask us our opinions on the whateverettes? No more effort on your part than the silly questions and it should lead to meatier comments. The new Canadians? Who knew. Has anyone else heard of this befor? You can make most bigots behave in public but they will still be bigots inside. I am not sure if I am buying district attorney Mike Trent’s story that he didn’t know what the term meant. I mean lawyers make their living verbally splitting hairs. I just can’t see one using a word he didn’t know the meaning of.
    Upon further consideration silly questions are less likely to need moderation so maybe this would call for more work on your part. Just a sugestion. Your bat and ball.

  25. Some prequery ones:
    Patron Saint of Pirates
    The Monster in Jimmy’s Closet
    Monkey Astronaut

    Some I’ve just pulled up:
    Ouch, the Hotplate
    Mulligatawny’s Madness
    This is Not a Band
    Dinosaur Vampire Explosion
    Gary, Phil and Dave Are Not in This Band
    I’m Sure I’ve Adequitly Annoyed Scalzi for the Day (local Minnesota rockers!)

  26. My band name for Guitar Heroes 1, 2, and 3 was “The Catamites”, which was an abbreviated version of my dream band name, “Father John and the Catamites”.

    There was a bowling alley I went to that had Guitar Hero nights, and I took a special pleasure in coming up with new and unique names for myself (and some were usernames I’d used for online pixel-blasting). Including:

    “Streptoraucous” (or “StreptoRAWKus”)
    “Matthew Sour”
    “The Hang-Tens”
    “Cable Modem”
    “Peter-Paul and Maggot”
    “Chinese Democrat”
    “Futile Effort”
    “Merchant of Venison”

    One night my buddy and I used Venture Brothers references for every song: “Goliath Serum”, “Team Venture”, “Girl Hitler”, etc.

    “The Long Barbed Whip Of Patrick Nielsen Hayden”

    Mathias @ 31, I’ve never heard of “Dr. Afterbirth and the Electric Fetus”, but there’s a string of too-cool record shops in Minnesota that go under the moniker of “The Electric Fetus”.

  27. John Fiala @ #5: My husband was in Fish For Breakfast in college. One of their notable songs was “Gin”, based on a T-shirt with Milk and Cheese Gone Bad. “Gin makes a man mean!”

    The band I was in (with my husband— we weren’t dating at the time even) was Warehouse: Mercury. Technically it still exists. (I suggest the “Shake Your Love” cover, or “Pain Lies On the Riverside” cover if you’d like to hear my voice.*) Perhaps the most notable aspect of the non-breakup is that if the lead singer ever is in the area, we could set up to record within half an hour— and there would probably be a new song or two by that point. You put Evil Rob and Krissi in the same room and scary creativity follows.

    As in, when I make a comment about having once gone to the store and coming back to have them say they’d made only two new songs, I’m not joking.

    *It’s not mentioned on the site, but when Evil Rob does a cover it is generally thought out and recorded in a few days— and if I’m doing the vocals, I generally have a prep time of around half an hour. Hence the occasional vocal flub, such as my pronunciation of “wadder.” Oops.

  28. My sister and her friends once threatened to start a punk band called Home Abortion Kit. This was in her “kick the system in the nuts” teens.

    Thankfully, she’s since mellowed into a more comfortable “kick the system in the nuts, but only metaphorically because I’m a pacifist” 30’s. Nowadays she pretty much relegates her activism to pissing off the man by giving away free vegan food in the park with her Food Not Bombs group. They’ve even been threatened with arrest, I think. Because giving away healthy food is just letting the terrorists win.

  29. * Smoking Gnu
    * ??/??? Percent
    * Buddy Boom & the Rimshots
    * stet
    * The Scobberlotchers
    * Scythe Matterz
    * Permanent Floating Riot Club
    * Indentured Savants
    * Onymous Oojahs

  30. Psychosocial Resilience Syndrome
    Lethal Needle Robot
    Decompressive Obsession
    Transcranial Gunshot Wound
    Nuclear Craniectomy
    Inviscerate
    Body Melt
    Steam powered lobotomy

  31. Ryiadh censors
    No net access to infidels
    Singing at prayer time

    Sorry, i just realized Boing Boing is “blocked” here, and it pisses me off no end.

  32. I’ve always sworn that if I ever recovered the musical ability I had when I was a kid, I would start up a band called “The Alternative Ambassadors”

  33. Chevette @ 24: are you aware that David Byrne’s concert/backing band in the early ’90s (after he left Talking Heads) was called Ten Car Pile-Up? (And even if you are aware, there’s probably someone reading this list who isn’t, so it isn’t a complete waste of pixels.)

    Sadly, I’ve forgotten so many good band names over the years that I longer know how to remember them.

  34. Severe Tire Damage. I came up with the name in 1996, before They Might Be Giants used it for an album. I swear!

  35. Sucking Chest Wound. A guy who crashed on my couch (for about 5 months) was always saying, “It’s nature’s way of telling you to slow down.”

  36. Onbesproken – the Dutch word for “not previously discussed” mostly because I like the sound of the word.

  37. Something like- An Idiot. Then people get to say “I am listening to An Idiot.” Or “An Idiot is performing on TV” Or I could use “The Best Band Ever” Hmmm. The possibilities are endless!

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