Comments on: On Writers, Marriages, and NYC/LA/SF http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/ DEVISING A SYSTEM FOR REMEMBERING EVERYTHING Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:57:18 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Jessica http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-128707 Jessica Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:09:53 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-128707 Interestingly enough, I stumbled into writing because of my husband. We agreed eleven years ago that he could work one Saturday a month and make more than I could (minus gas, day care, ect.) I admit, I was bored for several years until we stepped out of the stone age and bought a shiny new computer (that lasted all of one year) and had a second child. With that first computer, I discovered something greater (for me) than any game or anything the internet had to offer. The latest of our agreements, I go back to work when our third child starts school, unless I have a book set to publish, which just happens to be this August. Talk about pressure. Anyway, I have never lived in NYC\SF\LA. I live twenty-two miles from any sort of civilization and when I go on vacation you can triple that number. I could not be happier. I can't imagine having a neighbor who can see in my windows. Ick. Right this minute, I have three finished novels. One is submitted to a publisher, one is in a competition, and one is with an agent. Regarding the husband/wife bill payer thread, that is a hard one. My husband forced the fact years ago that we should pay cash for everything. In fact, we don't even have a checking account. But, I generally pay the bills. Why? Because I buy the groceries. I know how much I need to get through the week and which bills I can pay to balance the situation. The thing is you have to throw that we pay cash for everything into account. We have two monthly bills, electric and phone. Our house and all of our cars are paid for. Granted, they are nothing special, but they accomplish the job they were built to perform. Heh, I'd be willing to bet my paid for 94 Lumina could take most of your cars in a race. :D If not, I've got something for it. ;) Interestingly enough, I stumbled into writing because of my husband. We agreed eleven years ago that he could work one Saturday a month and make more than I could (minus gas, day care, ect.) I admit, I was bored for several years until we stepped out of the stone age and bought a shiny new computer (that lasted all of one year) and had a second child. With that first computer, I discovered something greater (for me) than any game or anything the internet had to offer.

The latest of our agreements, I go back to work when our third child starts school, unless I have a book set to publish, which just happens to be this August. Talk about pressure.

Anyway, I have never lived in NYC\SF\LA. I live twenty-two miles from any sort of civilization and when I go on vacation you can triple that number. I could not be happier. I can’t imagine having a neighbor who can see in my windows. Ick.

Right this minute, I have three finished novels. One is submitted to a publisher, one is in a competition, and one is with an agent.

Regarding the husband/wife bill payer thread, that is a hard one. My husband forced the fact years ago that we should pay cash for everything. In fact, we don’t even have a checking account. But, I generally pay the bills. Why? Because I buy the groceries. I know how much I need to get through the week and which bills I can pay to balance the situation. The thing is you have to throw that we pay cash for everything into account. We have two monthly bills, electric and phone. Our house and all of our cars are paid for. Granted, they are nothing special, but they accomplish the job they were built to perform. Heh, I’d be willing to bet my paid for 94 Lumina could take most of your cars in a race. :D If not, I’ve got something for it. ;)

]]> By: sharon fisher http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-124470 sharon fisher Fri, 26 Dec 2008 19:34:24 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-124470 Just read both of your columns and they're really wonderful. I've been a freelance writer off and on since the mid 1980s, sometimes in San Francisco. I was lucky and managed to buy a place, and I wrote for the high tech industry in the 1980s, when they were happy to pay rates to people who understood the technology. Incidentally, those rates haven't gone up in twenty years. Sometimes they've gone down. Anyway, in ten years, my house appreciated 2 1/2 times, I sold it, and moved to Idaho, where my mortgage is about what my San Francisco friends pay in property taxes. I married -- a bassist, as it happens -- and he promptly *did not obey* your instructions, and took advantage of me, so now I'm single and he's living with his mom. Anyway, great stuff, especially your realistic look at marriage as a business relationship, which extends far beyond just people who are writers. Just read both of your columns and they’re really wonderful.

I’ve been a freelance writer off and on since the mid 1980s, sometimes in San Francisco. I was lucky and managed to buy a place, and I wrote for the high tech industry in the 1980s, when they were happy to pay rates to people who understood the technology.

Incidentally, those rates haven’t gone up in twenty years. Sometimes they’ve gone down.

Anyway, in ten years, my house appreciated 2 1/2 times, I sold it, and moved to Idaho, where my mortgage is about what my San Francisco friends pay in property taxes.

I married — a bassist, as it happens — and he promptly *did not obey* your instructions, and took advantage of me, so now I’m single and he’s living with his mom.

Anyway, great stuff, especially your realistic look at marriage as a business relationship, which extends far beyond just people who are writers.

]]> By: Peggy Carr http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15565 Peggy Carr Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:23:41 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15565 To Carrie Vaughn, Does this explain anything about why there are more male writers doing it 100% of the time? I've read that men take more risks (and die sooner!) Peggy To Carrie Vaughn,

Does this explain anything about why there are more male writers doing it 100% of the time?

I’ve read that men take more risks (and die sooner!)

Peggy

]]> By: Agitha Forrest http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15564 Agitha Forrest Sun, 24 Feb 2008 17:33:54 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15564 In addition: be prepared for accidents, emergencies and all those little things you never could have counted on. Having kids was one thing, but having one who is Autistic changed my routines forever. Studio time was exchanged for therapy appointments and tutoring. Money for canvases and supplies went to paying for the tutor. I changed from painting large canvases and doing gallery shows to smaller works, drawing in portable sketchbooks, sneaking art on lunch breaks, working more online. By becoming a teacher, I was able to work on my art career on vacations and summer breaks.. I write on my laptop during appointments now. I changed around my family, my family didn't change around me. We all plan for a "normal" life, but things such as disabled children, taking care of our elderly parents, fires, disasters, getting fired from work or laid off, having your car totaled... those are things that can set you back a year.. sometimes more. You gotta prepare for those things too. In addition: be prepared for accidents, emergencies and all those little things you never could have counted on. Having kids was one thing, but having one who is Autistic changed my routines forever. Studio time was exchanged for therapy appointments and tutoring. Money for canvases and supplies went to paying for the tutor.

I changed from painting large canvases and doing gallery shows to smaller works, drawing in portable sketchbooks, sneaking art on lunch breaks, working more online. By becoming a teacher, I was able to work on my art career on vacations and summer breaks.. I write on my laptop during appointments now. I changed around my family, my family didn’t change around me.

We all plan for a “normal” life, but things such as disabled children, taking care of our elderly parents, fires, disasters, getting fired from work or laid off, having your car totaled… those are things that can set you back a year.. sometimes more. You gotta prepare for those things too.

]]> By: Linda http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15563 Linda Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:34:35 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15563 From Ursula K. LeGuin: "When I got married, my husband never questioned my right to write. This is fairly rare, especially in husbands. My advice to young writers is, if you can't marry money, at least don't marry envy." From Ursula K. LeGuin: “When I got married, my husband never questioned my right to write. This is fairly rare, especially in husbands. My advice to young writers is, if you can’t marry money, at least don’t marry envy.”

]]> By: Meredith http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15562 Meredith Thu, 21 Feb 2008 02:27:56 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15562 I am an illustration student about to go out into the big, bad, world. I stumbled across these articles and found them immensely useful simply by replacing the word 'writer' with 'illustrator'. Anywho, that being said- i want to touch on the subject of marriage. Out of the four (male) teachers i have had, 3 have been in the same exact roles of wife-doing-the-business. the most successful of them stressed this point the most. So, it seems, that this is a completely common thing for those in the freelance world to do. Unfortunately, i am a lady- and it seems that, from what I've seen, men in the creative field tend to marry non-freelancers/artists, and girls marry other credit risks. Oh well. maybe we can share out paints? I am an illustration student about to go out into the big, bad, world. I stumbled across these articles and found them immensely useful simply by replacing the word ‘writer’ with ‘illustrator’.
Anywho, that being said- i want to touch on the subject of marriage. Out of the four (male) teachers i have had, 3 have been in the same exact roles of wife-doing-the-business. the most successful of them stressed this point the most. So, it seems, that this is a completely common thing for those in the freelance world to do.
Unfortunately, i am a lady- and it seems that, from what I’ve seen, men in the creative field tend to marry non-freelancers/artists, and girls marry other credit risks.
Oh well. maybe we can share out paints?

]]> By: Samantha Cope http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15561 Samantha Cope Sat, 16 Feb 2008 18:38:26 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15561 Reading all these different perspectives on marriage and relationships is fascinating...AND will inform my writing! I can almost forgive how much of my writing time reading them has eaten up! Reading all these different perspectives on marriage and relationships is fascinating…AND will inform my writing! I can almost forgive how much of my writing time reading them has eaten up!

]]> By: Erin Cashier http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15560 Erin Cashier Fri, 15 Feb 2008 06:25:06 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15560 Or, you can be a single person who gets a part time job that pays really freaking well. I knew writing wouldn't pay enough for awhile. If you have any medical ability/schooling at all, i recommend becoming an RN in California. (Or becoming one in your state and traveling to CA, and then living like a king, say, in Florida.) Or, you can be a single person who gets a part time job that pays really freaking well. I knew writing wouldn’t pay enough for awhile. If you have any medical ability/schooling at all, i recommend becoming an RN in California. (Or becoming one in your state and traveling to CA, and then living like a king, say, in Florida.)

]]> By: Jennifer Busick http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15559 Jennifer Busick Fri, 15 Feb 2008 03:38:00 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15559 I haven't read all the comments, but as a working writer making a decent living married to a spouse with a good baseline salary and benefits (including health insurance) let me just point out that it is possible, in some instances, to grow your own at home. My spouse and I married at twenty, before either of us had a clue what we wanted to do when we grew up, and the way it worked out was: he decided to be a history professor and I decided to be a writer. What made sense was to see him through to the history degree, and then let him see me through to the writing career, which is more-or-less in fits and starts what we did. He has the health insurance, I have the head for money (if there's anybody worse about money than a writer, I swear it's a professional academic historian, honestly). Together, <i>we fight crime!</i> Oh, no, wait, wrong meme there . . . I haven’t read all the comments, but as a working writer making a decent living married to a spouse with a good baseline salary and benefits (including health insurance) let me just point out that it is possible, in some instances, to grow your own at home. My spouse and I married at twenty, before either of us had a clue what we wanted to do when we grew up, and the way it worked out was: he decided to be a history professor and I decided to be a writer. What made sense was to see him through to the history degree, and then let him see me through to the writing career, which is more-or-less in fits and starts what we did. He has the health insurance, I have the head for money (if there’s anybody worse about money than a writer, I swear it’s a professional academic historian, honestly). Together, we fight crime! Oh, no, wait, wrong meme there . . .

]]> By: Cameron http://whatever.scalzi.com/2008/02/12/on-writers-marriages-and-nyclasf/#comment-15558 Cameron Thu, 14 Feb 2008 00:57:01 +0000 http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=371#comment-15558 I confused, does that mean when my wife bags me about my mediocre writing and over use of (to my mind hilarious) puns I can say it's her fault for being a bad wife? (I think she's just lazy, I'm sure other French teachers are raking in the big bucks). I confused, does that mean when my wife bags me about my mediocre writing and over use of (to my mind hilarious) puns I can say it’s her fault for being a bad wife?

(I think she’s just lazy, I’m sure other French teachers are raking in the big bucks).

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