Jul 31 2008
Cue “Also Sprach Zarathustra”
July 31, 2008. The day Lopsided Cat discovered… air conditioning.
Seriously, he’s sitting in front of my window unit, letting the air blast him in his face and looking mighty pleased with himself. Oddly enough, I do that myself. All the time.
I'm the Creative Consultant for this television show, appearing Fridays on Syfy. Miss a week? For US residents, 
So at least one member of the household is actually an air supply fan.
Typo in that last sentence (missing “do”) John.
.
Now stand behind Lopsided and breath in some fur that’s flying through the room!.
.
Cat hair! Ptooie!
Fixed it before you noted it, anon.
He’s probably strong and deft enough to turn it on by himself…
Looks like he’d like to hang his head out of the mini-van on the way to the vet.
“Prrrprrrprrr — Ah! I say, monkey-boy! Run outside and fetch me a chipmunk or a mole, would you? There’s a good fellow. Prrrprrrprrr…”
Before we got our own cats, we sublet a room in our home to a friend who had a Maine Coon named Josh. When I set up the air conditioner for the first time, Josh came over and licked it several times in appreciation, then promptly flaked out on top of a bar stool in the direct path of the air conditioner, breeze ruffling his long fur. That was a happy creature.
I mean, I know the ‘discovery’ aspect makes Also Sprach Zarathustra appropriate but as much as I love that piece seeing that image (and mentally adding the cat’s hair being blown in buffered by the airflow in motion instead of a static image) bring Ride of the Valkyries to mind for me.
Sentient cats are a very bad idea.
You’ll be receiving a very impolite letter from People Who Don’t Think Disembowelment Sounds Very Amusing At All shortly.
sng@9:
I’d be far more frightened if the cats were to be given thumbs.
Nice photo, my cats have staked out all the vents to the central AC in my house. I wear dark colors because light colored cat hair is attracted to it, like a moth to a flame.
Just out of curiosity, do you think that the large amount of cat hair acts as a radiator for the cat, dissipating heat quickly, or does it act as an insulator for the cat, holding in heat? Compared to say, a human head with a limited amount of hair, does a cat cool off more quickly?
Brett L,
The Kzin managed to grow thumbs. Granted this is a long road but it’s also a very bad one. Do we really want to allow Mr. Scalzi to start us down it?
The other cats are going to be so jealous when they figure out why Lopsided spends so much time there. Perhaps there’ll even be a little furr flying accompaniment to the yowling and hissing and chasing each other to determine who gets to settle themselves like the cat that got the cream in front of the magic air thingie. When and if so, film and/or pictures will be appreciated.
Just better hope Kodi doesn’t put two and two together regarding where all that nice cool air originates. You’ll come into the room one morning to find your desk now resembles an oragami sculpture, and none of your four four-footed residents anywhere to be found. Except maybe the three cats might drop by to look the situation over and say “well, I certainly didn’t break it!”
Lee S.:
“Just better hope Kodi doesn’t put two and two together regarding where all that nice cool air originates.”
She’s already all over the floor vents. And I mean, all over the floor vents.
sng:
I agree, all cats who show signs of thinking or thumbs must be neutered/spayed as kittens, lest they breed sentience or the ability to effectively wield tools.
Wow, I haven’t seen a window unit in years! Down here in Houston you only see those on the poorest of homes.
Of course, we only have 2 seasons down here: Hot & Not Hot. We get stupid when the temperature drops to below freezing for more than a couple of hours, & I’ve only experienced snow 3 times in my 35 years.
What’s it like to live where it’s cool enough for central air to not be a basic requirement of survival?
The cat is just in training for sucking your breath while you sleep.
The felines are here.
And they have a plan.
“Then came . . . CATS!”
Who the heck was that from . . . Cordwainer Smith, perhaps? It’s been lodged in my brain for years now.
Actually, Randallphobiaon, if I remember correctly that is an auxiliary unit because The man’s office gets more sun than the rest of the house. There is some sort of bi-annual event surrounding the installation and removal of it. Kinda like the pagans at stonehenge I am told. Except now with cats.
Sam @ 12: I’m pretty sure it acts as an insulator; my hair certainly does. Cats in the wild tend to have shorter fur in warmer climates (lions) and longer fur in colder climates (lynx).
I’m not sure how housecats dissipate heat. Most I’ve met seem to really enjoy heat, but not humidity – might be Lopsided Cat is savoring the dry more than the cool.
Sorry, did I say “housecats”? I of course meant “our feline overlords”.
Re: Cats + Thumbs:
One of our cats is a polydactyl and has thumbs. They _work_ (he can ball up his paws into a “fist of doom”). Fortunately, when they were handing out brains he was in the line for thumbs so I’m not worried that world domination is in his future.
Here he is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/56315069@N00/108149012/
#17: Some of us experience a sense of wonder-like moment every time we get reminded that there are places where people actually don’t build their houses with the ability to keep warm in the winter as a, or the, central requirement.
//JJ
O Great Scalzi, what an excellent picture of Mighty Lopsided Cat.
The Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club thanks you for your prompt posting of a picture that helps wipe away the trauma induced in us by this picture:
http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=1193
Naturally, as usual you have misinterpreted His behavior. In fact, Mighty He is substituting the cool wind of the air conditioning unit for the embracing gale of Perfection that emanates from Her Most Glorious Shimmering Radiant Magnificence while She is away on Vital Business.
Really, just leave the commentary to the experts of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club. You don’t see us trying to tell you how to write your books, do you?
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
My housecat (rather, the cat whose home I share) deals with the buildup of heat by being proactive. She is very careful to do as little as possible that could generate heat, preferring to spend whole summer days lying in front of a fan.
Eric@23 – I have a polydactyl too (full thumbs, semi-functional – i.e. she can’t hold something like a pencil, but can use them for leverage) who is, shall we say, less than brilliant. My explanation is that the extra toes are diverting blood that was meant for her brain.
my Maine Coon (Loki) used to sleep in the sink when it was hot – the cast iron would just suck all his body heat. He also liked sprawling in windowsills (of the window was open) , on top of ac vents etc – he alos liked getting (a little) wet – he would play in the bathtup and chase the water down the drain and was facinated with running water.
I miss that darn cat
I was really just showing how jealous I am of people in cooler climes. With our over 95% humidity, 90 often feels like 110 or 120, & rain only makes it feel hotter. Right now it feels like a sauna at night, & honey roasted hell during the day.
Lopsided Cat knows a good thing when he feels it. Smart kitty.
Dear God! I’m too late. Bethumbed cats could learn to use weapons. They’d be even worse than giraffe ninjas. I guess the only thing to do is attempt to breed polydactyl cats with a sense of loyalty to their helper monkeys.
I think the cats likes the sound, as opposed to the moving air? When I was a kid our cat used to sleep behind the fridge next to the compressor.
In what wise is The Great Cat lop-sided?
I detect no rabbitness or misproportioning either on the right or the left of His Greatness. In fact, he looks like our appallingly handsome Maine Coon (now in the Happy Hunting Grounds) who spoke four words of English appropriately.
The story of Lopsided Cat
Hey, is there a section just for latest news