Whatever

Aug 05 2008

It’s Probably True

38 responses so far

38 Responses to “It’s Probably True”

1. # Chrison 05 Aug 2008 at 2:14 pm

   That law is 100% true.

2. # Howie Modellon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:25 pm

   Is this your version of a “Six Degrees” rule, John?

3. # Jason Mayoon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:30 pm

   Probably true?

4. # Jemaleddinon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:36 pm

   I thought Scalzi’s Law would be: “Any sufficiently delicious food is indistinguishable from bacon.”

   It has the added bonus of being true.

5. # Hughon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:43 pm

   Just bacon, or any edible porcine by-product?

6. # Frooniumon 05 Aug 2008 at 2:58 pm

   at #5

   Perhaps something like a “Pork Rind Corollary?”

7. # Pegkittyon 05 Aug 2008 at 3:01 pm

   Yeah, Godwin’s Law is not so much with the tasty. Kind of the opposite, really.

8. # John Scalzion 05 Aug 2008 at 3:03 pm

   And the referent in Godwin’s law was a vegetarian! Which means that it touches on this new law not at all.

9. # Chrison 05 Aug 2008 at 3:31 pm

   “I thought Scalzi’s Law would be: “Any sufficiently delicious food is indistinguishable from bacon.”

   That’s Scalzi’s Second Law.

   The Third Law could be: “Anything is funnier with bacon taped to it.”

10. # Dr. Philon 05 Aug 2008 at 4:21 pm

    If you’re going to have multiple Scalzi’s Laws, you have to formulate the Zeroeth Law — the underlying assumption without which the following laws are unnecessary.

    For example, the Zeroeth Law for Newton’s Law is “There is such a thing as ‘mass.’” For Thermodynamics, it is “There is such a thing as ‘temperature.’”

    For Scalzi’s Laws, the Zeroeth Law is obviously “There is such a thing as ‘bacon.”" Or for those purists who don’t mind a negative statement, “There is no such thing as ‘too much bacon.’”

    Dr. Phil

11. # Patrick Won 05 Aug 2008 at 4:23 pm

    @9

    Consider this the official request for a photo of Scalzi with Bacon taped to himself.

    I will throw in some cash towards the Athena College Fund if she manages to tape bacon to her dad and takes a picture without his knowledge.

12. # Hughon 05 Aug 2008 at 4:25 pm

    With his clothes on, puh-leeze…..

13. # Joe Morrisonon 05 Aug 2008 at 4:40 pm

    How about a picture of John Scalzi rendered in bacon. Or if you are mor artistic a sculpture of John Scalzi made out of bacon.

14. # Alternative Eric S.on 05 Aug 2008 at 5:07 pm

    I’m sick of all you baconazis and your belief in the mastermeat!

    (Does that mean this thread is over or do I have to mention H-word? And by the H-word I mean “Hickory”)

15. # TransDutchon 05 Aug 2008 at 5:15 pm

    #4: As tasty as bacon is, I am sure, to Scalzi, I suspect not even he would proclaim that all tasty foods taste the same. Bacon taste like chocolate? That’s heretical to those who love chocolate, and those who love bacon, and to those who love the taste of both, I suspect.

    However, the law as he phrased it, I have no issue with, and agree it is probably true.

    Also, I have heard those who love bacon say that not all porcine products have the same great taste.

16. # Hughon 05 Aug 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Splitter!

    No schisms in the dogma of bacon.

17. # Brett Lon 05 Aug 2008 at 5:40 pm

    So what is the vegan equivalent of this law? I’m guessing “all food with tofu in it tastes almost but not entirely unlike meat.” But that’s just my experience after being cruelly tricked into trying “tasty” vegan products that included deep-fried tofu.

    Not that I have a problem with veganism; just people trying to convince me that animal-free products taste like meat. That is not one of the advantages of a vegan life-style.

    Though bacon-wrapped tofu tastes like bacon.

18. # Andrewon 05 Aug 2008 at 6:24 pm

    I’m a polyflavorist. Bacon and chocolate are both in my pantheon.

19. # agmon 05 Aug 2008 at 6:52 pm

    Bacon-wrapped tofu? I must try.

    Also, Dr Phil, the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics is definitely not what you think it is. It’s that two objects in thermal equilibrium with a third object are in thermal equilibrium with each other. In other words, if you let your bacon come to room temperature while sitting in a skillet, and you let your chocolate come to room temperature sitting in the same skillet, then the bacon won’t melt the chocolate since no energy flows.

    Whereas, if you cook bacon, you can then cook pasta and toss in bacon and eggs, resulting in a delicious bacony spaghetti carbonara. The pasta cooks the eggs and keeps the bacon warm since the three are not in thermal equilibrium.

    I so need to figure out how to work this into a lecture this semester…

20. # Ruth Ellenon 05 Aug 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Re: #15 & #18
    Don’t forget the Bacon Chocolate. I’ve tried it. It is wonderful.

21. # MarkHBon 05 Aug 2008 at 7:10 pm

    It’s been a tradition for me to easter-egg my work by putting a dalek someplace in every render (even if it’s replacing a bolt that ends up 2×2 pixels with Derek the Dalek).

    From now on, John, in your honour Derek’s place will be taken by a strip of bacon. For your greater glory!

    I’m still putting a fez on it, though. Some things are tradition

22. # Karenon 05 Aug 2008 at 7:42 pm

    Why argue which is better, bacon or chocolate. Just have it all (and at the same time):

    Bacon Ice Cream and Chocolate-Covered Bacon

    http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/07/the-bacon-duet.html

    (and in keeping with the law, here’s another post that went from living wills to bacon)
    http://jimvoorhies.com/index.php?p=414#comment-19946

23. # kcarlileon 05 Aug 2008 at 7:50 pm

    Mark, I’m disappointed by your callous rejection of Dalekism in favor of this new fangled Orthodox Baconism.

24. # MarkHBon 05 Aug 2008 at 8:06 pm

    kcarlile, remember Derek as I always shall:
    http://www.imaginetix.co.uk/Images/hogjowl.jpg

25. # Brett Lon 05 Aug 2008 at 9:19 pm

    agm:

    I would love to have a Thermo class with a prof that used bacon to illustrate the basic principles. Its on the schedule for the fall. Since the book is “Chemical & Biomedical Applications of…”, I’m betting bacon will not be in it.

    Also, I have to amend my corollary: “All vegan food with tofu in it tastes almost but not entirely like meat.”

    Otherwise I would have obviously falsified it with my bacon-wrapped tofu example.

26. # Cassieon 05 Aug 2008 at 9:25 pm

    But what will the giraffophiles think?

27. # Tom Greybalton 05 Aug 2008 at 9:36 pm

    It’s not chocolate but it is bacon candy!

28. # Devonon 05 Aug 2008 at 9:55 pm

    http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.html

    Home of the bacon maple bar. There’s a photo, but it’s not listed in the text menu on the left which is more of a guideline than a menu really..

29. # Dr. Philon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:26 pm

    agm: And you’ve just defined what temperature means. “It’s that two objects in thermal equilibrium with a third object are in thermal equilibrium with each other. In other words, if you let your bacon come to room temperature while sitting in a skillet, and you let your chocolate come to room temperature sitting in the same skillet, then the bacon won’t melt the chocolate since no energy flows.” i.e., they are all at the same temperature. If such a condition could not occur, then there’d be no definition of temperature which would allow the regular enumerated laws of thermodynamics to stand as written. Hence my statement of the Zeroeth Law of Thermodynamics. (grin)

    Dr. Phil

30. # Dr. Philon 05 Aug 2008 at 10:28 pm

    agm: The secret is not to work bacon into a lecture, it’s to work bacon into an exam. My first Physics exam this summer featured Iron Man, for example. (grin)

    Dr. Phil

31. # Daniel Martinon 06 Aug 2008 at 9:57 am

    I will now blatantly blogwhore with a vaguely relevant post. It involves bacon, and has a passing reference it Schroedinger’s cat.

32. # Mike Caneon 06 Aug 2008 at 1:04 pm

    I thought Scalzi’s Law was “Nothing is so bad that it can’t be improved with bacon!”

33. # Heatheron 06 Aug 2008 at 4:26 pm

    I saw it and just had to direct you to it. A real bacon alarm clock. http://www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php

34. # agmon 06 Aug 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Dr Phil,

    I have to disagree. Given that it has already happened once, your statement that one has to have the Zeroth Law to enumerate the other laws of thermodynamics just doesn’t make sense. Instead, it serves to complete the bridge between thermo and dynamics by adding critical theoretical structure, a bit analogous to how Maxwell’s work gave us electromagnetic wave propagation.

    More usefully, a principle that says energy flows from bacon to chocolate because of a temperature difference cannot define the concept of temperature because of the way it relies on you having an independent definition of temperature, or else you’re begging the question. That’s where Professor Kelvin, his predecessors, and his contemporaries save the day.

35. # Ednarbon 07 Aug 2008 at 11:50 am

    http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/good-questions/what-smells-do-you-like-waking-up-to-058757

36. # Ednarbon 07 Aug 2008 at 11:52 am

    Submitted too fast – meant to include:

    This law is 100% true. I saw this today, and couldn’t think of anyone else. How does it feel to be forever connected with bacon?

    http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/good-questions/what-smells-do-you-like-waking-up-to-058757

37. # Dr. Philon 07 Aug 2008 at 10:21 pm

    agm: The statement that two (or more) things in thermal contact are at the same temperature is a statement on thermal equilibrium. Conversely, if they are not at the same temperature, then they not in equilibrium and there will be a net heat flow — tending towards a new equilibrium, unless additional heat Q or work W is added or extracted. If you cannot define a temperature difference, then we wouldn’t have the laws of thermodynamics as they are defined now.

    I’m not sure we’re arguing here. (grin)

    Dr. Phil

38. # Joe Rybickion 08 Aug 2008 at 9:35 am

    I think this can be summed up quite neatly in visual form.

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