Bacon Beans: More Detail

People are curious about the bacon-flavored jelly beans that made an appearance in this entry (they’re actually interested in the whole described event, actually, but I think some things are more amusing left unexplained), so here they are, naturally posed with Ghlaghghee, i.e., Bacon Cat, who as before looks somewhat less than impressed with the whole thing. The Bacon Beans were a gift from Phil Plait, i.e., The Bad Astronomer, who snuck up on me while I was doing a signing at Dragon*Con and presented me with them (photographic evidence of our meeting is available here). Sadly, except for this brief moment, I didn’t get to hang with Phil, but clearly the gift he gave added to the overall fun of Dragon*Con, as evidenced by their involvement in a conga line and/or with sweaty gay men. Really, who could ask for anything more.

Yes, yes, you say, we already know about the conga line and the sweaty gay men. But how do they taste? Well, assuming you mean the Bacon Beans and not the sweaty gay men (whom I did not sample, possibly to the disappointment and/or relief of many), I cracked open the tin and tried one just as I was writing this up. The verdict: Gaaaaaaaah. Bacon + jelly beans = JUST NOT RIGHT. Fortunately I had Coke Zero and strong minty gum nearby to wash the taste of flavor abomination out of my mouth. But for everyone else who might be tempted to try these things, there’s a reason things like this are known as “gag gifts.”

That said, I was and continue to be utterly delighted with the gift — it really is the thought that counts — so thanks, Phil.

25 thoughts on “Bacon Beans: More Detail

  1. O Great Scalzi, what a beautiful picture of The Beauteous Ghlaghghee.

    The lighting could be a little better, but Her Internal Illumination overcomes your deficiency. In addition, there appears to be an extraneous prop in the lower right quadrant. It serves no useful purpose and should be removed.

    Other than that, an excellent offering.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

    PS – You have clearly displeased Her Glorious Shimmering Perfect Radiance in some fashion – we wonder that you did not fall to the ground in fear. Are you a simpleton or truly brave? We of the Executive Committee will have to raise this issue at the next meeting of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club.

  2. Somehow I am greatly relieved that Bacon Beans made you gag. I was affeared they would become the next American taste sensation, because everyone is putting bacon on/in every damned thing, and quite a few undamned things, too.

    Dr. Phil

  3. Ah, reminds me of the time my 8 yr old unknowingly tried a jalapeno jelly bean. I’d never seen him spit something so fast. Why my parents had those I’m still not sure….

  4. I’m convinced there is a whole dark manufacturing industry run by ninjas, hoping to capitalize on the bacon-cat phenomenon.

    I’m placing my bets on the Scalzi family receiving bacon fruitcake wrapped in bacon paper for the holidays. Think about it. You can’t fuck up fruitcake any more than it already is. Throw some porcine product in it, cover it with ribbons and it’ll be bigger than Tickle Me, Elmo.

  5. I must know where to purchase as a gag stocking stuffer for my hubby. (I’ll find out soon if my husband reads Whatever blog comments, I suppose.)

  6. In playing with alphametric toys just posted to metafilter, I found out that:

    BACON + BACON + CAT = SCALZI

    79524 + 79524 + 590 = 159638

    /silliness

  7. A great office amusement of the spouse was to salt her candy dish with some of the odder flavors of Jelly Belly and “Bertie Bott’s Any-Flavor beans.” Some of the reactions were memorable.

  8. We’re family friends with the Jelly Belly people, so in the high-water mark of the Reagan Jelly Belly craze, Herm Rowland gave me a bag of samples of the then-yet-to-be-released Jalapeno jelly bellys. I had some mighty fun that day in Junior High.

  9. Whoever it is that wrote this post, please return the real John Scalzi to us. We will pay whatever you ask, as long as it is no more than 4 easy installments of just $29.95. If you’ve taken the Bacon Cat, too… Well, hit the Fluffee Fan Clubb for cash.

  10. The Secret Thoughts of Cats

    I love you.

    Is that for me?

    Whatcha doin?

    I love you.

    Scritch my head

    Is that for me?

    I love you.

    Let’s have a tussle.

    Chase me.

    I love you.

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