Sep 04 2008

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Bacon Beans: More Detail

Published by John Scalzi at 10:05 am

People are curious about the bacon-flavored jelly beans that made an appearance in this entry (they’re actually interested in the whole described event, actually, but I think some things are more amusing left unexplained), so here they are, naturally posed with Ghlaghghee, i.e., Bacon Cat, who as before looks somewhat less than impressed with the whole thing. The Bacon Beans were a gift from Phil Plait, i.e., The Bad Astronomer, who snuck up on me while I was doing a signing at Dragon*Con and presented me with them (photographic evidence of our meeting is available here). Sadly, except for this brief moment, I didn’t get to hang with Phil, but clearly the gift he gave added to the overall fun of Dragon*Con, as evidenced by their involvement in a conga line and/or with sweaty gay men. Really, who could ask for anything more.

Yes, yes, you say, we already know about the conga line and the sweaty gay men. But how do they taste? Well, assuming you mean the Bacon Beans and not the sweaty gay men (whom I did not sample, possibly to the disappointment and/or relief of many), I cracked open the tin and tried one just as I was writing this up. The verdict: Gaaaaaaaah. Bacon + jelly beans = JUST NOT RIGHT. Fortunately I had Coke Zero and strong minty gum nearby to wash the taste of flavor abomination out of my mouth. But for everyone else who might be tempted to try these things, there’s a reason things like this are known as “gag gifts.”

That said, I was and continue to be utterly delighted with the gift — it really is the thought that counts — so thanks, Phil.

25 responses so far

25 Responses to “Bacon Beans: More Detail”

  1. chang, who is not changon 04 Sep 2008 at 10:35 am

    O Great Scalzi, what a beautiful picture of The Beauteous Ghlaghghee.

    The lighting could be a little better, but Her Internal Illumination overcomes your deficiency. In addition, there appears to be an extraneous prop in the lower right quadrant. It serves no useful purpose and should be removed.

    Other than that, an excellent offering.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

    PS – You have clearly displeased Her Glorious Shimmering Perfect Radiance in some fashion – we wonder that you did not fall to the ground in fear. Are you a simpleton or truly brave? We of the Executive Committee will have to raise this issue at the next meeting of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club.

  2. Dr. Philon 04 Sep 2008 at 10:39 am

    Somehow I am greatly relieved that Bacon Beans made you gag. I was affeared they would become the next American taste sensation, because everyone is putting bacon on/in every damned thing, and quite a few undamned things, too.

    Dr. Phil

  3. Laura Lon 04 Sep 2008 at 10:39 am

    Ah, reminds me of the time my 8 yr old unknowingly tried a jalapeno jelly bean. I’d never seen him spit something so fast. Why my parents had those I’m still not sure….

  4. Mike Bon 04 Sep 2008 at 11:07 am

    http://www.bostonherald.com/entertainment/food_dining/food/view.bg?articleid=1116542

    Boston in all its Bacon Glory, I would imaging that it may fall closer to the bacon beans the the original bacon on the flavor scale though.

  5. Kate Bakeron 04 Sep 2008 at 11:23 am

    I’m convinced there is a whole dark manufacturing industry run by ninjas, hoping to capitalize on the bacon-cat phenomenon.

    I’m placing my bets on the Scalzi family receiving bacon fruitcake wrapped in bacon paper for the holidays. Think about it. You can’t fuck up fruitcake any more than it already is. Throw some porcine product in it, cover it with ribbons and it’ll be bigger than Tickle Me, Elmo.

  6. Skipon 04 Sep 2008 at 11:44 am

    The State Fair of Texas this year is offering Chicken Fried Bacon on a stick. I can’t wait.

  7. MasterThiefon 04 Sep 2008 at 11:53 am

    You should write a book with Phil, just to use that picture as your author photograph.

  8. Adelheidon 04 Sep 2008 at 12:09 pm

    I must know where to purchase as a gag stocking stuffer for my hubby. (I’ll find out soon if my husband reads Whatever blog comments, I suppose.)

  9. watercoloron 04 Sep 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Bet the dog will love ‘em!

  10. watercoloron 04 Sep 2008 at 1:26 pm

    or do you just have cats….? Suddenly, I can’t remember…. sorry. I have a terrible cold and am not entirely sure of my own name….

  11. Nentuabyon 04 Sep 2008 at 2:12 pm

    watercolor:

    Even the worst cold is no excuse for forgetting Kodi the Wonder Dog!

  12. mensleyon 04 Sep 2008 at 2:18 pm

    In playing with alphametric toys just posted to metafilter, I found out that:

    BACON + BACON + CAT = SCALZI

    79524 + 79524 + 590 = 159638

    /silliness

  13. Aletheaon 04 Sep 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Teehee…

    But you will forever remember them fondly, and for that I am glad.

  14. Tullyon 04 Sep 2008 at 2:29 pm

    A great office amusement of the spouse was to salt her candy dish with some of the odder flavors of Jelly Belly and “Bertie Bott’s Any-Flavor beans.” Some of the reactions were memorable.

  15. Phil Plait, aka The Bad Astronomeron 04 Sep 2008 at 2:38 pm

    Ah, kewl. thanks for the love, and your welcome for yours. I’ll have a blog post up with details of our beany encounter later today, methinks.

  16. Phil Plait, aka The Bad Astronomeron 04 Sep 2008 at 2:39 pm

    [There's nothing like not previewing first. Sigh]

    Ah, kewl. Thanks for the love, and you’re welcome for yours. I’ll have a blog post up with details of our beany encounter later today, methinks.

  17. JBoothon 04 Sep 2008 at 3:15 pm

    “Flavor Abomination” = new Guitar Hero band name. Thanks!

  18. Johnny Carrutherson 04 Sep 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Is there a website for Bacon Beans?

  19. The Pathetic EArthlingon 04 Sep 2008 at 4:45 pm

    We’re family friends with the Jelly Belly people, so in the high-water mark of the Reagan Jelly Belly craze, Herm Rowland gave me a bag of samples of the then-yet-to-be-released Jalapeno jelly bellys. I had some mighty fun that day in Junior High.

  20. Brett Lon 04 Sep 2008 at 5:36 pm

    Whoever it is that wrote this post, please return the real John Scalzi to us. We will pay whatever you ask, as long as it is no more than 4 easy installments of just $29.95. If you’ve taken the Bacon Cat, too… Well, hit the Fluffee Fan Clubb for cash.

  21. Alan Kelloggon 04 Sep 2008 at 10:12 pm

    The Secret Thoughts of Cats

    I love you.

    Is that for me?

    Whatcha doin?

    I love you.

    Scritch my head

    Is that for me?

    I love you.

    Let’s have a tussle.

    Chase me.

    I love you.

  22. watercoloron 05 Sep 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Okay, well see, I got it right first then, lol! and let the cold make me second guess myself… blah.

  23. Robert Hutchinsonon 05 Sep 2008 at 6:31 pm

    After seeing Phil’s photos of you, John, you definitely have a future in (pick one):

    Advertising

    Monster movies

  24. John Scalzion 05 Sep 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Why not both?

  25. Phil Plait, aka The Bad Astronomeron 05 Sep 2008 at 6:42 pm

    And for my version of the tale, try here: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2008/09/05/tales-of-dragoncon-scalzification/

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