your post made me laugh out loud–although i must confess, the pulitzer folk did call me. apparently they are adding a category for excellence in journalism on “gender/feline relations.”

for the record–to channel sarah palin:

The chant, joe (may i call you joe?) was:

That’s not a pulitzer you smell, that’s kitty litter!

anyway, thanks again for your help. i didn’t actually see the paper, as i was out of town–so maybe your photo is in it….

cheers,
abby

And I don’t have to “take advantage” of anyone. I’d make you WANT it, don’t you understand? After I soften your brain with my ginger fondants in bittersweet chocolate and my cherries in Kirschwasser syrup in dark chocolate and my dulce de leche in milk chocolate and my Chambord ganache in white chocolate, I’d give you a full body massage (without trespassing on any boundaries you may set) that would leave you as relaxed and pliant as the by-now-purring-and-sprawled-out Daisy, who would never dream of interfering, not that you’d want her to. At that point you’d be willing to do anything I wanted.

And then I’d leave. Because I, too, am a perfect gentleman, and besides I learned my lesson in college about seducing straight men (which is that it can generally be done, if one has no scruples whatsoever and cares absolutely nothing about destroying any friendship with the man in question; since figuring this out I have consistently chosen scruples and friendship over nights of passion). I’d rather be frustrated tonight than have you hate me in the morning. That’s why, later, when straight friends have gotten drunk and hit on me (“experimenting”) I’ve turned them down flat, and acted like I didn’t remember anything either (even though I was NOT drunk).

Also, at my age I don’t really have the energy for the whole elaborate scenario, or rather I prefer to focus it on someone who already wants me, where “doing it” is a given, and my creativity can be focused on variations in how long he’s tied up before I finally…well, I’ll leave it there.

This is what I tell young gay men of my acquaintance who are considering trying to seduce a straight man for real: the best possible outcome is that it will be a complete waste of time. Doesn’t mean it’s impossible, just that all other outcomes (including the rare (despite my nefarious scenario above) “success” outcome) are far, far worse.

Tell you what. Let’s share cats (though in fact I’m allergic to them, a terrible sadness in my life) and chocolate, and leave sex and sisters out of the whole thing, shall we? And if you have a deep need for the last word on this, please take it with my blessing.

The best outcome for all would be you dropping off the chocolates, massage oils (don’t need the liquor; I have plenty) and your sister on my front porch. In exchange for my promise to be a complete gentleman, Daisy will let you keep your intestines.

Anyhoo, grats on the article. No such thing as bad press.

Single, hetero, and two cats… although “sharing space with a predator” is stretching it a bit. They both find me far more useful as a bedwarming device than as food.

Exactly what I’ve been saying for years. And yes, men who own a cat are extremely attractive to me. They’ve passed the initiation of winning that cat’s affection.

Which leads me to a famous saying around our family…

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. ;)

(from someone who has dogs, since his wife likes them – but grew up with, and prefers, cats)