Putting LosCon on Your Radar

Just a reminder to various and sundry that I am going to be the Guest of Honor at this year’s LosCon, the Los Angeles regional science fiction convention, which takes place November 28 – 30, which is the weekend following Thanksgiving. I am hugely honored and excited, because as you all know I grew up in the LA area, so this is going to be a fun way of having a homecoming. I’m also excited for another reason, and to understand why, I’ll recount to you the conversation I had with the LosCon folks about being the Guest of Honor:

LosCon Folks: So, we’d like you to be the Guest of Honor for LosCon 35.

Me: Will you furnish me with an endless supply of In-N-Out Double-Doubles, to be presented to me by my very own burger caddy, who will instantly appear with an Animal-Style Double-Double when I do but snap my increasingly greasy fingers?

LosCon Folks: Uh… sure.

Me: Then I shall attend!

You think I’m joking about this, but I’m totally not. If I haven’t gained 60 pounds over that weekend via cheeseburger overload, I’ll have failed. And you know how I dislike failure.

In any event, I can assure you that aside from the spectacle of my constant burger consumption, this is going to be a really excellent convention –the other Guests of Honor are Gary A. Lippincott and Michael Siladi — and it’ll also be my last public appearance for 2008. So if you miss it, then you December is likely to be a long, sad, depressing slog toward the darkness, for which the holiday season, far from being a respite, will only compound the raven black of your depression. Not to oversell the appearance, or anything. But seriously, we’re going to have an almost absurd amount of fun, and you should be there. Because you k now how much you like fun.

If you are thinking of going, here’s the online registration form. Hope to see you in five weeks.

37 thoughts on “Putting LosCon on Your Radar

  1. Apparantly, you can has cheezburger! Will you be answering to the name “Happy Cat” during the convention?

  2. Perhaps they should bring the In ‘N Out truck to the convention as the best way to feed our addictions. I hope to make it there for at least one day- assuming that I can duck the whole family gathering thing.

  3. So what is the best Hamburger place you have ever been? I have only had one In’N Out so I will go with 5 Guys Famous Burgers and Fries.

  4. Frankly, I hope the only way you gain 60 lbs over the weekend is by loading up a cooler full of burgers and taking it home. There’s no shame in having a stomach annex.

  5. Ah yes…I was in Sacramento over the weekend for my brother’s wedding, and had to duck out at one point during setup to get some urgently-needed supplies at Wal-Mart. And what should be nearby but…an In-N-Out Burger. Oh YES!!!

    I hadn’t had a Double-Double in YEARS, ever since I moved to Colorado. My girlfriend later said that she hadn’t seen me that excited since the first time we–well, you can probably guess how that statement ends. :-) She, being originally from Arkansas, had never had one AT ALL, so she got the privilege now. She enjoyed it. We missed out on a free meal at a Chinese place near the hotel, but somehow I don’t care too much. :-)

  6. The Fiancee and I have engaged the In-N-Out Mobile Hamburger Truck to provide the food at our wedding.

    We can haz cheezburger and wedded bliss simultaneously!

  7. Yay for buger caddy! And boo ’cause I’ll be in Florida that entire weekend. My brother just had to move out there and insist we all come to visit for Thanksgiving…

  8. John,

    After burger overload (yes it will happen, maybe not for their shakes but for their burgers), try El Pollo Loco while you are out there.

    I actually like them more than In and Out. Thankfully we had an El Pollo Loco open up 25 miles away this year. So hit them a bunch. Of course when I headed to Nevada for a weekend of gambling had to hit In and Out when passing through southern Utah.

    Sadly I do not see In and Out heading north due to their business model.

  9. A mind is a terrible thing.

    By way of example: having read this post, and apparently still pondering the little bit of divinity-on-earth that is an animal-style double-double, I read the title of your subsequent entry as “Meatropolis”.

  10. What, you didn’t also specify the Coke Zero Handmaidens? You could choke to death on those Double-Doubles without something to wash them down with. (Have you ever tried any Saurian brandy, laddy?)

    Dr. Phil

  11. I’m looking forward to seeing you again, at Loscon.

    Don’t tell anyone, but my wife and I had done over 25 panels at Loscons, and enjoyed the experience, as did the fans. We Give Good Panel (having practiced at Worldcons in several continents). Then I had to sue a Big Name (in local terms) fan at Loscon for Defamation. He and his evil sidekick plagiarized me (proven, admitted), and defamed me even in a Science Fiction venue). And, by bad luck, sued and won another Loscon Big Name for failing to pay me $7,000+ on a contract — and had the temerity to win and collect.

    Since then, I’ve not been allowed to be on any panels, however greatly expert n the subject. I’ve paid memberships anyway for myself, my wife, and my son (all 3 of us are SF Professionals, as was my father). So, if anyone comes up and is very rude to me while I’m in close proximity to you, I apologize in advance.

    You’d think that people would understand that it’s nothing personal, and not a fan feud, but we writers (and scientists in the case of me and my wife) own little more than our intellectual property and our reputation. And he that screweth with either, as a matter of policy, shall be smote by the gavel a judge in black robes. Being right, and collecting money owed per contract, would seem to mitigate, but Fandom hath its own strange rules.

    Just saying.

    In ‘n Out. Yes!

  12. Scalzi said:
    “If you are thinking of going, here’s the online registration form. Hope to see you in five weeks.”

    I’ve been planning to attend since early this year, but I haven’t registered yet because there is still no schedule for anything. Their web site not only provides no information on when specific events are happening (and what those events might be), but they do not even state the dates for Loscon itself.

    The only reason that I knew that it will be sometime during the Thanksgiving weekend is that I had heard it elsewhere. (Thanks for providing the exact dates – do you have any idea about the schedule of events? Any info you can provide will be appreciated, as I am probably going to be obligated elsewhere part of that weekend, and would like to do some advance planning.)

    With best wishes,
    – Tom -

  13. Madeline @16

    From the official websites:

    In 1948, the first In-N-Out Burger was founded by Harry and Esther Snyder in Baldwin Park.

    The Tim Hortons chain was founded in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario.

    I think In-N-Out wins custody of the phrase double-double.

  14. Tsk. I see you’re on the In’N’Out side of the great SoCal divide between those who like I’N’O’ and those, like myself, who sing the praises of Fatburger. If for no other reason than, while I’N’O’ burgers are good, their fries aren’t even in the same zip code as the Fatburger fat fries (i.e. steak fries).

  15. I can’t wait, it’s a fun convention and I’m taking the train back up to San Francisco after.

    Damn but I want a burger now, though.

  16. John, if you were who-what-nowing at my post about our wedding:

    Sarah M @23 “For $1250 you too can have an hour and a half of In-N-Out service in your own driveway.” Note that this is WAAAY less expensive than wedding catering (which is about 5x normal catering) and tastes a hell of a lot better, guaranteed. Plus all our friends who’ll be there love In-N-Out!

    It will actually be in the driveway of our friend’s house where we’re having the wedding. They’ll pull up about 1/2 hour before we start the ceremony, and by the time we’re all wedded, the double-doubles will be on!

    It’s gonna be awesome. :)

  17. We might be twins separated at birth, as my all time favorite burger is the double-double animal style.

    I will now go find one of your books to read to either confirm or disprove my familial hypothesis…..If I like it, then it just proves you are the one with the talent!

  18. Double Double Animal Style FTW.

    That said, have you seen this story where a guy ate a 20×20?

    It starts the way all fantastic stories start: “It all started—as you would expect—when we were drunk.”

  19. So, I want to know just where you sign up to be the Burger Caddy? Do we submit a resume and a 1000 word essay to the LosCon chairing committee?

    “I want to be John Scalzi’s official 2008 Burger Caddy. I’m best suited to the job because….”

  20. You know, I’ll be there, running the Fanzine Lounge and furiously trying to get all the LA folks to wear the Dr. Who Scarf to support TAFF.

    As you beat me so successfully in the Hugo voting, I owe one beverage fo your choice!
    Chris

  21. I had a double-double last week, animal style. Amazing.

    I’m also trying to figure out if there’s any particular day that would be a “don’t miss” at LosCon, as I’ll probably only be able to make one day. Any pointers?

  22. @DKT Either Friday or Saturday is good-Friday there’s opening ceremonies, the traditional ice cream social-yay free ice cream) and programming to boot. Saturday is a heavier programming day, and will also have the masquerade in the evening. There are room parties both nights
    @John Scalzi I hereby invite you to my room parties-on Friday, The Ankh-Morpork Visitors’ and Convention Bureau invite you to enjoy typical snacks of the region in honor of the first North American Discworld Convention, and on Saturday, FiestaCon, Westercon 62, will be whoopin’ it up. Room numbers to come.
    And everybody else can come too.

  23. If I may …

    Buy a third of a pound of ground beef–usually the 83% lean kind, but you can go leaner. Divide it in two, and make two patties. Put a dash of salt on both sides.

    Lightly toast both sides of a plain hamburger bun, face down, on a griddle. You can also use a frying pan. Set them aside.

    Cook both patties for about 2-3 minutes per side over medium to medium-high heat (depending on your stove/griddle). Flip them, put a slice of American cheese on both patties, and cook for another 2-3 minutes.

    Put the bottom bun face up, and place a tablespoon of Kraft Thousand Island dressing on it. Then a slice of tomato, then one large lettuce leaf, then the first burger patty, an onion slice, and the second burger patty. Top it with the top bun, and wrap it in parchment paper.

    Voila! A semi-authentic In-N-Out Double Double.

    My wife (Keri) and I make these fairly often, and they taste *a lot* like the real thing. Definitely get the Kraft Thousand Island to make them taste more authentic.

    JD

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