Whatever

Oct 30 2008

Today’s Terrifying Idea Involving Me That I Didn’t Come Up With

62 responses so far

62 Responses to “Today’s Terrifying Idea Involving Me That I Didn’t Come Up With”

1. # John Hon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:17 pm

   But, but, but…

   Why not???

2. # Wardon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:17 pm

   What would it take for this to happen?

3. # John Scalzion 30 Oct 2008 at 7:19 pm

   Ward:

   Longer days, weeks and months.

4. # Elijahon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:19 pm

   Aww, why not?

5. # Brian Skinnon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:21 pm

   Scalzi:

   Longer days, weeks and months.

   Or perhaps a commission sufficient to send Athena to Harvard three times over…

6. # duquesne_pdxon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:23 pm

   But you could be the next Whedon!

7. # John Scalzion 30 Oct 2008 at 7:25 pm

   Yeah, but I want to be the first Scalzi.

8. # Brian Skinnon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:26 pm

   <Pictures an entire realm of Scalzis, of which our distinguished host is the benevolent yet occasionally cranky ruler>

9. # duquesne_pdxon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:27 pm

   Bah. You already have that…

   Asimov never did it.
   Heinlein never did it.

   Do it for the kids!

10. # Mitchellon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:33 pm

    But that would be amazing coolness, covered in awesome sauce. I stamp my tiny little fanboy foot and insist upon “John Scalzi Presents ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show 4: Magenta’s Lament’”. At your earliest convenience, of course.

11. # Wardon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Scalzi:
    “Longer days, weeks and months.”

    I’ll get started on slowing the rotation of Earth. Though it’s already doing that itself. Sooo…

12. # Berryon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:41 pm

    My calculations show that today is about 4 nanoseconds longer than yesterday, so get cracking!

13. # Purpleon 30 Oct 2008 at 7:46 pm

    The reason he can’t do it is obviously that it would just be far too awesome; the world would implode from the awesomess, and that would be a dangerous thing, my friends.

14. # Anny Mouseon 30 Oct 2008 at 8:16 pm

    Oooh, but it sounds like so much fun!!!

15. # Dana Kingon 30 Oct 2008 at 8:19 pm

    I was down with it until he said it was better than bacon taped to a cat. NOTHING is better than bacon taped to a cat.

16. # Emilyon 30 Oct 2008 at 8:45 pm

    @15 What if was about a bacon taped cat?

17. # Lisaon 30 Oct 2008 at 8:46 pm

    Bacon Cat: The Musical!

18. # Arachne Jerichoon 30 Oct 2008 at 8:54 pm

    There must be fishnet stockings involved.

19. # JulieBon 30 Oct 2008 at 9:09 pm

    My kid will play the cello for the production. Just sayin’.

20. # eviljwinteron 30 Oct 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Hey, you have to do it. You owe me.

    Your cousin shot my cousin

    An audience participation musical would do much to settle old debts between our two families.

21. # Scorpioon 30 Oct 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Well, for the last several years we’ve done Buff’ “Once More with Feeling” as a midnight sing-along.

22. # martynon 30 Oct 2008 at 9:31 pm

    But . . . but . . . I thought you said you loved us.

23. # Emilyon 30 Oct 2008 at 9:37 pm

    How about if someone rights a musical about all the reasons you should right a musical? Would that be incentive?

    “John Scalzi Should Right a Musical: The Musical”

24. # mklishison 30 Oct 2008 at 9:40 pm

    You must do it–and soon!

    My grandmother loves musicals, and she loves your books, but she turns 91 in two weeks, so if you wait too much longer, she’ll miss it.

25. # George William Herberton 30 Oct 2008 at 9:45 pm

    John, if you don’t write this, we will.

    Which is more terrifying?

26. # Macon 30 Oct 2008 at 9:56 pm

    That is… astonishingly random. 0_0

    Do it for that reason alone!!

27. # Saraon 30 Oct 2008 at 10:24 pm

    Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

28. # BJSon 30 Oct 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Okay, we (your loyal fans) give up.

    Have John Scalvi write it. I hear you know him….

29. # duquesne_pdxon 30 Oct 2008 at 10:36 pm

    eviljwinter said:
    “Hey, you have to do it. You owe me.

    Your cousin shot my cousin

    An audience participation musical would do much to settle old debts between our two families.”

    Hello, my name is eviljwinter. You killed my distant cousin. Prepare to write a musical?

30. # Daveon 30 Oct 2008 at 10:37 pm

    My god, this is a good idea. I am astounded that you did not START WRITING immediately. Perhaps my 6 month old daughter could offer up her delightful singing voice in support. We wanted to call her Zoe but felt it had been done. I will be ready for rehearsal at your beck.

    That is all.

31. # John Scalzion 30 Oct 2008 at 10:43 pm

    duquesne_pdx:

    He wasn’t my cousin, anyway. He was my great-great-great-great-great (or thereabouts) uncle.

32. # duquesne_pdxon 30 Oct 2008 at 10:52 pm

    It was eviljwinter @#20 what called him yer cousin… I just riffed on it…

33. # John Scalzion 30 Oct 2008 at 10:54 pm

    Oh, I know. Just clarifying.

34. # Zoraon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:21 pm

    Not a Western musical, a Bollywood musical. Hrithik Roshan can play John Scalzi.

35. # Shayeraon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:42 pm

    If you weally weally wuved us you would. ::puppy dog eyes::

    (Good grief, I turned into a 6 year old.)

36. # Shayeraon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:44 pm

    And an irritating one at that.

37. # clvrmnkyon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:49 pm

    This musical you are writing, what sort of musical will it be? When will it be complete?

38. # adelheidon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:52 pm

    I’m in the midst of a collaborative writing of a musical parody right now. I’m more or less just the typist with occasional opportunities to contribute.
    I’d love it if Scalzi did a musical that we could perform at http://www.parsec-sff.org/confluence .

39. # pwstrainon 30 Oct 2008 at 11:53 pm

    If King can do Brothers of Darkland, or whatever it’s called with Mellencamp….
    Of course, it could turn out to as good as Carrie: The Musical.
    And let’s not forget that TRHPS was not _written_ to be audience participation: it just happened. Attempts to make it happen on purpose since have been miserable.

40. # jameson 30 Oct 2008 at 11:58 pm

    I thought this was going to be about slashfic.

41. # JReynoldson 30 Oct 2008 at 11:59 pm

    John Scalvi would have said yes.

    You are not John Scalvi.

42. # mjfgateson 31 Oct 2008 at 12:26 am

    Omigod yes. I’ll contribute.. ummm… I’ve got five bucks and some pennies.

43. # Another Steveon 31 Oct 2008 at 1:42 am

    So I can assume there will be no “The Bacon Horror Dog and Cat Show” in the near future?

44. # Arthur D.on 31 Oct 2008 at 2:00 am

    How about Burma Shave jingles or limericks?

45. # Nargelon 31 Oct 2008 at 2:45 am

    @44

    Burma Shave limericks, hhmmmmmmm……

46. # eviljwinteron 31 Oct 2008 at 8:00 am

    “He wasn’t my cousin, anyway. He was my great-great-great-great-great (or thereabouts) uncle.”

    OK, OK! Your relative shot my relative.

    Happy?

47. # Pegkittyon 31 Oct 2008 at 8:42 am

    Yes! Yes! Scalzi musical for Confluence!

48. # martinon 31 Oct 2008 at 9:45 am

    We in Australia have hero dogs that resuce (and indeed rescue) kittens –> http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27381659/
    We have bird eating spiders –> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/earth/2008/10/22/easpider122.xml

    What we don’t have is enough musicals.

    What the hell (we take a robust view of the language when we dont get what we want)…. Musical ? You ?

    I laugh. They laugh. The ENTIRE planet laughs at the thought of YOU writing a musical. That noise you hear is the entire planet shaking with laughter. At least, those bits of it between Australia and where-ever non musical people named Scalzi live.

    I bet you couldn’t write a musical if you tried.

49. # Alternative Eric S.on 31 Oct 2008 at 9:47 am

    You don’t want to do a musical. You want to do a rock opera!

50. # martinon 31 Oct 2008 at 9:57 am

    You’re probably tone deaf anyway

51. # Unfocused Meon 31 Oct 2008 at 10:54 am

    C’mon, John, you know you want to. All it would take would be an exclamation point. From

    Old Man’s War

    to

    Old Man’s War!

    and you’d be off and running. To a beat. I can hear the overture starting now, with an extended drum solo.

52. # Danon 31 Oct 2008 at 11:30 am

    John @#3: Then I shall go posthuman, harness the power of nanotech and I shall build a gigantic Dyson Magnet around the planet and slow that bitch down.

    I can’t think of a better reason to, y’know, upload myself, subvert every piece of computing equipment on the planet and horribly, horribly fuck with the planet.

    I NEED THAT MUSICAL. NOW.

53. # Kate Bakeron 31 Oct 2008 at 1:06 pm

    If by any chance you do end up writing a musical, can I sing in it? ;)

    Not saying that you should, but you know, if you do, which you said you won’t, but just in case.

    Err….

    I gotta cover all mah bases!

54. # htomon 31 Oct 2008 at 1:20 pm

    OMW, the Musical!

    Yes, yes, yes! Combat, after all, is a form of dance. The mundanes would know you for something other than dead porcine strips adhered to a live feline!

55. # Michael Cummingson 31 Oct 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Your lips and fingers say no, baby, but your eyes say…ok, maybe your eyes say ‘no’ too. But I think this could be a real boost to tourism in Ohio. I mean, what else does Ohio have going for it? Don’t you owe it to your (adopted?) state?? Think of the children!

56. # Pam Adamson 31 Oct 2008 at 2:43 pm

    I want the chorus of dancing Brainpals(tm)!

57. # Laurettaon 31 Oct 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Oh my. Note to self – do NOT read Whatever over lunch. Serious choking hazard. Oh, this will prompt random snickering all day…..

    Oh, boy. He got you GOOD, dude.

    Sigh, and I just watched Rocky Horror last night, wondering just how Tim Curry managed to be so believable. And Meat Loaf – I forgot Meat was in that.
    Lauretta

    PS Somehow this reminds me of “Springtime for Hitler”

58. # htomon 31 Oct 2008 at 3:38 pm

    I was thinking of Ma Ma Mia; the troopers leaping out of the sea, dancing down the dock, all greenness, and then jumping back into the sea. Or flying away, if there was a larger wire-fu budget.

59. # WendyB_09on 31 Oct 2008 at 4:38 pm

    Personally, I was hoping for a combat scene a la West Side Story’s classic Jets versus Sharks battle!

60. # BJSon 31 Oct 2008 at 7:36 pm

    “I mean, what else does Ohio have going for it?”

    Other than the whole Wright Brothers thing, not much that i can think of.

61. # Cassieon 31 Oct 2008 at 11:29 pm

    Can’t you use the interpretive dance and aria from your live appearances as starting places?

62. # Peter C. Haywardon 01 Nov 2008 at 1:41 am

    I heard that you would write anything, for enough money.

    Name your price. How much would the internet have to collect to make you write this?

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