Oct 31 2008
Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter
It’s quite a list.
Election List III: Things Sarah Palin Has Shot Or Would Shoot From a Helicopter
1. Wolves
2. Coyotes
3. Arctic foxes
4. Deer
5. Giraffes
6. Tortoises
7. Dolphins
8. Salmon
9. Katie Couric
10. That son of a bitch that divorced her sister
11. Kittens
12. Whoever made that Photoshopped picture of her in a bikini, holding a rifle
13. Owls
14. Baby seals
15. Tina Fey
16. Andrew Sullivan
17. Levi (note to self: Only wound)
18. Donkeys
19. Elephants
20. John McCain
I'm the Creative Consultant for this television show, appearing Fridays on Syfy. Miss a week? For US residents, 
Hey, you left out some of the really obvious Alaska ones (beyond Levi and McCain)
Moose
Caribou
Musk Oxen
Ted Stevens
Randy Ruedrich
Lyda Green
Rachel Maddow
Andrew Halcro
I was at a dinner tonight where a lifelong Republican called our governor a lightweight and said she wanted to vote for Nader, because she won’t vote for a McCain/Palin ticket and can’t bring herself to vote for Obama. Ouch…
Whoever actually defined what it is a vice-president DOES.
Sarah P., following the fine vice-presidential tradition of Dick Cheney…
17. Levi (note to self: Only wound)
In the balls?
Russia
plankton
pylons of the bridge to nowhere
Charles Darwin
Andrew Sullivan’s hominid ancestors
– You guys oughtta make me vice president!
– Why should we make you vice president?
– ‘Cause I’m so goddamn awesome. I got over a hundred and fifty confirmed kills. That ain’t no shit, either.
– Any women? Or children?
– Yeah, some.
– How can you shoot women and children?
– Simple! You just don’t lead ‘em as much! Ain’t war hell? You betcha!
Jon Stewart
Tequila, with some salt and lime.
Hippies
You, the reader.
10. That son of a bitch that divorced her sister
Not to mention tasered his son and threatened her father.
Not to mention tasered his son and threatened her father.
Spare the voltage, spoil the child.
In all fairness, the Bible *is* pretty fuzzy on Tasers.
Only thing I’d subtract from the list is Tina Fey. Palin apparently offered to have her daughter Bristol babysit for Tina Fey, so if Palin shot Tina Fey, then Bristol is going to have to babysit for about 18 years.
Oh, and you have to add Don Young.
Odd, I expected to see Barack Obama on that list.
Then again, if he’s elected, she can kick off her Palin ‘12 campaign. *shudders*
Walt Monegin
One of those really scary t-shirt launcher guns they use at stadiums. When you kill a Dire Wolf and it drops a “McCain/Palin ‘08″ t-shirt instead of a quest item, you’ll know why.
The idea of Palin shooting a kitten makes me frown, but for some reason the idea of her shooting an owl makes me want to burst into tears.
They can FLIP THEIR HEADS NEARLY UPSIDE-DOWN! Why would you want to shoot one? Come on, Sarah, think of the owlets!
But she would, Olga, she would.
Especially if they were spotted owls. They’re a so-called “endangered species.”
Extra points!
Jesus Christ himself, once she realizes what he was really about.
I think you forgot polar bears.
@19 CartoonCoyote, yep.
Vladimir Putin’s rising head.
Coming very late to the party (janitors usually wait until everyone else has gone home) I am surprised that the all-purpose, generic Democrat didn’t make her list…
I think you forgot scientists, atheists, and agnostics…
Palin’s a good looking woman, but I think looks alone aren’t really enough to qualify you as the leader of the free world. An a non-american, I’m glad that the republicans got beat, I have no real issue with McCain, but god forbid something should happen to him and Palin ends up the most powerful person on the planet!
Sarah Palin is a good leader. i can say that because she did some projects in alaska that helped lots of people .
Sarah Palin is a woman with a very strong character and personality that is why i like her. .,