Here it is:
“Cut myself on yogurt.”
Yes, yogurt. Not the container, the actual yogurt.
And not just cut myself. Made myself bleed.
It takes a special kind of person to cut themselves on a thixotropic food product; apparently, I am that kind of person. I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s not exactly the most manly thing I’ve ever done. On the other hand, how many others can claim such a distinction? I’m thinking not very many. Ever. So I have that going for me.