Nov 24 2008

Previously:
Ahead:

Away For Most of The Day

Published by John Scalzi at 7:18 am

Try to find a way to carry on. I know it will be hard. But I believe in you.

53 responses so far

53 Responses to “Away For Most of The Day”

  1. # Steve Buchheiton 24 Nov 2008 at 7:40 am

    John’s not here. Weeeeee. Oh wait.

  2. # Randallphobiaon 24 Nov 2008 at 8:12 am

    That’s it!
    My day is shot!
    I hope you’re happy with yourself.

  3. # Nathanon 24 Nov 2008 at 8:32 am

    We could all go slice our fingers on improbable objects. You know, out of solidarity. Or something.

    Uh, never mind.

  4. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 8:39 am

    Nathan, I’ve been trying for literally minutes and I do not appear to be able to cut myself on an AAA battery. I feel somehow… unmanly.

  5. # Irene Delseon 24 Nov 2008 at 8:44 am

    The cat’s away, the mice read books. I’m in the middle of <The Android’s Dream and I alternate between giggling like crazy and scratching my head thinking “wait, this author is really crazy…”

  6. # WendyB_09on 24 Nov 2008 at 9:03 am

    Alas, I’m at work today and won’t be able to work on “Ghost Brigades”.

    Guess it will have to wait for airport hell tomorrow. At least it should keep me amused whilest I travel.

  7. # Jeff Hentoszon 24 Nov 2008 at 9:07 am

    DAAAAAAAAD-DY!!! The internets are boring me.

    Here’s a good clip about instant gratification.

  8. # Steve Buchheiton 24 Nov 2008 at 9:18 am

    Nathan, I’ve been trying to cut myself with Weebles all weekend. Now that I’m back at work I can juggle razor blades.

    I say we have a party while he’s gone. Anybody got a key to the liquor cabinet?

  9. # Dave Robinsonon 24 Nov 2008 at 9:25 am

    I have whiskey somewhere around here: Honest!

  10. # KIAon 24 Nov 2008 at 9:44 am

    Please, please tell us that the grievous wound you suffered has not gone gangerenous and caused you to be transported to the ER!

  11. # Christopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 9:57 am

    This is excuse to take your new netbook somewhere, isn’t it?

  12. # Another Amyon 24 Nov 2008 at 10:00 am

    Jeff @7

    Loved that clip.

    John will be back, and we will be able to read his words very soon now. Just think back to when we would have to wait for those word to be printed on paper. Paper. I may even have some of those “words on paper” around here somewhere…

  13. # Brett Lon 24 Nov 2008 at 10:28 am

    What, not even a gratuitous pet picture to help us carry on? May the cats hide presents where you only find them by smell!

  14. # Dr. Philon 24 Nov 2008 at 10:51 am

    Okay, we need an armed party organized to go over to John’s and find this dangerous pack of killer yogurt containers. Because clearly John isn’t man enough to do “what needs to be done”.

    Anybody got a good handle of what sort of load you use for hunting killer yogurt containers? I was thinking 12 gauge deer slugs, myself. Or buckshot. Why take chances?

    And does anyone know if Ohio is one of those pansy states which requires a permit for hunting killer yogurt containers?

    Dr. Phil

  15. # Jeff S.on 24 Nov 2008 at 11:10 am

    Dr.Phil @14

    “I say, nukem from space, it’s the only way to be sure.”

    BTW, last time this happened I think Christian had the key to the liquor cabinet and I brought snacks.

    I can still bring snacks 8D

  16. # FrancisTon 24 Nov 2008 at 11:25 am

    Well while your waiting you can toddle over to webscriptions and buy “Hate Mail” and “Coffee Shop” by our host in electronic form.
    http://www.webscription.net/m-6-subterranean-press.aspx

    $6 each but you get the first quarter or so for free to see if its worth it

  17. # Ashmanon 24 Nov 2008 at 12:02 pm

    I think I will spend the day making blogs that mention Scalzi.

    That will draw him out, then all I need to do is throw this net over him and force him to blog all day!

  18. # Randallphobiaon 24 Nov 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Ashman: Brilliant! Everyone start talking about Scalzi on their blogs right now. He’ll never be able to leave his computer again.

  19. # Nikittaon 24 Nov 2008 at 12:38 pm

    You believe in me? *sniffle* I’m so touched! I think I’ll -ehm- continue drinking chocolate milk and eating licorice! Yay!

  20. # eviljwinteron 24 Nov 2008 at 12:43 pm

    OK, let’s be honest here. He’s at the ER with a serious pudding injury.

  21. # rickon 24 Nov 2008 at 1:24 pm

    You leave without even a picture of a sunset or a cat (or a sun setting on a cat) to tide us over? Cruel, John. Cruel.

  22. # Xopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 1:36 pm

    eviljwinter, you mean he’s been…DESSERTED?

    I say it’s time for a

    FOOD FIGHT!!!!

    *splorches eviljwinter in the face with a huge blob of raspberry ganache*

  23. # Xopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 1:37 pm

    *begins firing cranberry jellies into the crowd at random*

  24. # Dukeon 24 Nov 2008 at 1:40 pm

    Oh the humanity! My life is now officially over.

    Duke
    http://thedailyduke.com

  25. # Changon 24 Nov 2008 at 1:59 pm

    WHY JOHNNY WHY?!?!

  26. # MWTon 24 Nov 2008 at 2:04 pm

    Dr. Phil, it’s not the yogurt containers that are killers – it’s the yogurt itself! I say we should go in armed with high-powered vacuum cleaners.

  27. # adelheidon 24 Nov 2008 at 2:06 pm

    Then you won’t be able to tell us that you’ve already gotten a few dozen e-mails with this link in them:
    http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/

  28. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Tried spoons, toilet rolls, clocks, tables, my stuffed Cthulhu, a towel… no cuts. Not even chafing. *sighs*

    Oh, food fight! *deploys a medium-range submunition Momo strike with extra tomato chutney*

  29. # Dave Hallon 24 Nov 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Dr Phil–
    I lived in Wisconsin several years ago. And yeah,they did have some license restrictions on hunting.

    My suggestion is a retaliatory air strike. Several tons of cheese curd should do.

  30. # mensleyon 24 Nov 2008 at 3:08 pm

    I’m just wishing I could be there when John comes home and finds his fridge all shot up. Door hanging off, riddled with holes from the AP rounds and deer slugs, yogurt leaking all over the floor, and a note attached: “You’re welcome! -Your Faithful Whatever Readers”

  31. # Stephen Buchheiton 24 Nov 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Dr. Phil, I believe the proper load is #00 Buck refilled with rock salt.

  32. # Pam Adamson 24 Nov 2008 at 3:18 pm

    MarkHB@28

    It’s sad when the stuffed Cthulhu fails you.

    *scatters caltrops made from leftover candy corn.*

  33. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Mensley: It’s the aircraft carrier that’s been pumped full of custard and pilchards buried nose-first up to the superstructure in the south 40 that’ll draw comment, you betcha. Or, we may be talking about different things. Who can tell?

  34. # Josh Jasperon 24 Nov 2008 at 3:52 pm

    Fish whacking all around!

  35. # Xopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 4:25 pm

    *strafes the assembled multitudes with assorted truffles from a Fokker Dreidecker*

  36. # TransDutchon 24 Nov 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Logic:

    John is a cat
    We are mice
    John is away
    We need to do something.
    How about ask the government for some money?
    Claim we are Mutant Mice.
    The government has 3 million to spend on mutant mice.
    They don’t specify the mutations.
    (ROUSes? Extra limbs? Maybe they can travel in time? Or are really good at taping bacon to a cat.)

    http://tinyurl.com/6jlpwk

  37. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 4:35 pm

    Anyone a good hacker? I could come up with different flavour yogurt-blob models for Left4Dead while he’s away if someone who knows their way around a firewall can get ‘em into this Steamapps folder…

  38. # Dr. Philon 24 Nov 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Steve — I thought about rock salt loads, but who’d ever eat chocolate lowfat yogurt that’s been salted? Remember, a good hunter eats what he kills. Unless we want to classify killer yogurt containers as varmints. Then all bets are off.

    Dave — I almost pointed out that in Wisconsin you can’t hunt cows, so I assumed Brown Cow yogurt wasn’t legal either. But we’re talking Ohio here.

    Dr. Phil

  39. # Jeff S.on 24 Nov 2008 at 5:06 pm

    I just cut my finger packing up a power supply to ship out.
    But since I work at a Seattle Childrens Hospital, I got to put Daffy Duck bandaids on it.

    So I get to join our host bleeding from the digits and have Daffy duck Bandaids.

    I’m so lucky 8D

    Pam,
    candy corn caltrops are against the Geneva Convention. have YOU ever stepped on one? It’s like leftover taquito punji sticks…

  40. # Pam Adamson 24 Nov 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Transdutch@36

    Clearly our mutation is intelligence- we’re on Whatever. (I realize that this argument could be reversed, but hey, we’re mice!)

  41. # Sub-Odeonon 24 Nov 2008 at 5:44 pm

    (raises arm to defend self from the swinging fish of doom, finds self whallopped into the river…)

  42. # Xopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 5:51 pm

    *dumps seven tons of arrowroot into the river, trapping Sub-Odeon in viscous goo*

  43. # sammyoon 24 Nov 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Glanced at the headline and had an OMFG moment, what does he know about the economy… then a nice whew, can wait til the morrow for bacon-cat updates.

  44. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Has anyone ever considered John Perry as Orpheus, travelling the Styx of the CDF’s wars to rescue his love from the Underworld of the Ghost Brigades?

    No?

    Fair enough.

    *splats a trifle into Xopher’s face*

  45. # mdson 24 Nov 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Anybody got a key to the liquor cabinet?

    I did, but I cut myself on it.

    So, I was speaking to the spouse about how our new infant was becoming a bit of an e-mail celebrity, and perhaps this was our chance to achieve brief internet fame, and she told me, “You’re not putting bacon on the baby.”

    Sniff. I’m so proud. Largely uninterested in the internet, yet so aware of all its traditions.

  46. # Dave Hallon 24 Nov 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Dr Phil: On reflection, it did sound odd. I was trying to point out the upper midwest almost uniformly has license laws for hunting. And such laws. I almost hurt myself laughing the first time I saw a shotgun with a scope. The gun shop owner kindly informed me that rifles were illegal for deer hunting as the world is flat and stray bullets seldom land in the county they were fired from.

    As far as yogurt is concerned, I believe it is not a native animal and therefore is probably considered an invasive pest by most state Departments of Fish and Game.

  47. # Xopheron 24 Nov 2008 at 7:56 pm

    *licks up trifle, pulls string attached to giant fondant funnel, burying MarkHB in cherry-cordial fondant*

  48. # MarkHBon 24 Nov 2008 at 8:00 pm

    *proffers Xopher one triumphant glance over a curved surface labelled “FONDANT TOWARDS ENEMY” before it all goes lateral*

  49. # Sub-Odeonon 25 Nov 2008 at 3:36 am

    Xopher @ #42,

    Frankly, sir, I am shocked — shocked! — that you would have so little regard for the environment. The EPA shall here of this! You haven’t seen the last of — (glub, glub, glub, glub, glub…)

    (with head sliding under the gravy-like surface, only fist remains defiantly projected into the air)

  50. # Sub-Odeonon 25 Nov 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Yarghhh…

    here = hear

  51. # Xopheron 25 Nov 2008 at 2:13 pm

    *can’t hear Sub-Odeon, having already died of cherry-cordial fondant overdose*

  52. # Sub-Odeonon 25 Nov 2008 at 6:20 pm

    (insert cartoon image of Xopher’s ghost stumbling into the “Tour of Hell” scene from South Park)

  53. # Xopheron 25 Nov 2008 at 7:52 pm

    *comes back as ghost with stone body, drags Sub-Odeon down into hell, singing

    Subbodianni, a cenar teco
    M’invitasti e son venuto!

    while Sub-Odeon’s wife exclaims in horror*

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