His Mastery of the Napping Discipline is Uncontested

Lopsided Cat, at the top of his lounging form. But know that he’s known not only for his form, but for his endurance: as in, he totally lounged like this for hours. You can’t hope to match him, you can only try to learn from him.

31 thoughts on “His Mastery of the Napping Discipline is Uncontested

  1. If he’s like my cat, scrithing his tummy will get you a semi-concious “blerrt?” I think my cat likes to channel RAH’s Pixel, just to mess with my head or do all cats do that?

  2. “You can’t hope to match him, you can only try to learn from him”

    Oh, I don’t know. His position doesn’t seem optimized for long-distance snoozing. He may end up cramping after the first day or so. Rookie.

  3. O Great Scalzi, what an excellent picture of Mighty Lopsided Cat. From the size of his stomach it looks like He is digesting his latest elk.

    We do note that you have clearly gotten out of practice taking pictures (not that you were particularly good at it before). It seems you have framed the picture poorly or cropped it. Mighty Lopsided Cat’s right paw is clipped at the border.

    You can do better. Perhaps 20 or 30 images of Her Most Glorious Perfect Radiance would be good practice, so you should get started on it. Like right now.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

    PS – Ignore this blasphemous imposter @ 5 claiming to be Her. While amusing in a juvenile way, this person is playing a dangerous game by attempting to imitate Her. One day the Beauteous Ghlaghghee will deal with the situation.

  4. You must have a great heating system. We can tell the temperature by how tightly our cats curl up. They don’t sprawl like this one until it’s at least 85 degrees.

  5. What I find truly impressive is that he is not only sleeping, but doing so while pressed against a wall. Is this the zero-G area of the house?

  6. I’m with Jeanne! Although, Lopsided Cat is outside enough that maybe it just feels really warm in comparison.

  7. Hey, Scalzi,

    Good pic of Lopsided Cat.

    We give it a thumbs up and a fist bump.

    Later, man.

    The Lopsided Cat Fan Club abides

  8. Yeti does that; sometimes just because he feels like lounging that way, and sometimes because he knows that nearby humans will succumb to the irresistible urge to pet the fluffy belly. Which he loves. (Sometimes, he’ll perpetrate what I call the Fluffy Belly Ambush: spot a human walking through the house, run ahead of them, flop down and roll on his back just as they’re coming into petting range.)

  9. If I had a longhaired cat, I’d have to buy a bucket of stickle-bricks just to do the comb-twist-walk away manouvre.

    Gouraud and Phong are so happy to be Manx shorthair. They have no idea how lucky they are.

  10. Your house must be a lot warmer than mine. My cat only lounges like that when it’s really hot. Right now he’s curled into a tight fur ball.

  11. I always lose the sleeping contest to the cat. I just can’t dial my metabolism down low enough. I have to get up to eat, while the kitteh can survive off his fat, or hibernate, or whatever the hell he does.

  12. There is an uncommon, but very powerful, jyuken technique known as Lopside-ken. Unlike virtually all other forms of martial art, this style has no offensive or defensive moves beyond the crippling Kyutto Kyutto Kyaku.

    Many have died attempting to master Lopside-ken.

  13. Did you get the carpet to match the cat or vice-versa?

    Or is the carpet actually scarlet and what we see is the inevitable consequence of fluffy cat ownership?

  14. I have the most painful compulsion to find a cat, any cat, and rub its belly. The siren call of the Lopsided Cat belly is impossible to ignore!

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