I find it very sad that someone believed – and I suspect correctly — it was necessary to put up this site to make things clear to young men that there was a difference between porn sex and sex with a real live girl. It’s like when you have to tell a five-year-old that cartoon physics only apply inside of cartoons, except fifteen years on, and somewhat messier.

I don’t know. Maybe I was wise beyond my years, but I figured out early on that any piece of film designed to get a guy off in under three minutes probably wasn’t going to paint an entirely accurate representation of a woman’s own desires. I thought everyone knew. You knew, right?

(Hint for the men: This is where you say, “Oh, yes, of course!”)

(Hint for the women: This is where you resist rolling your eyes.)

Also, the above link? Possibly not entirely safe for work. And no, there’s no porn there.

In the comments to the Forrest Plumber entry, commenter Frank asked (somewhat sarcastically, but even so) what my thoughts about the stimulus package are. I claim no great insight in the process, but my thought is, essentially: seems like it’s needed at this point, and I’m happy to let Congress thrash it out a while to make sure it’s useful rather than simply large. Which means that fundamentally I don’t have a problem with the GOP complaining and getting all huffy about cost, etc. Mind you, given the last eight years, I find the sort of indescribable richness that one usually ascribes only to super-moist chocolate fudge cake in the idea of the GOP suddenly acting as if they’re grown-ups when it comes to federal-level fiscal responsibility. But we’ll see what comes of it.

Now, I’ve seen it suggested that the GOP has decided to oppose a stimulus package because they want the whole thing to come crashing down, make Obama look bad and thus they’ll look better, or some such. If so, I personally think this is an interesting strategy for a party that was defeated on the basis of its inability to comprehend what’s actually happening to the economy (and the people in it), a little like a drunk driver deciding it’s a brilliant PR move to wrest control of the ambulance taking him and the other wreck victims to the hospital from the EMTs driving the thing. Basically, I don’t think it would be as good an idea as they might think it is. It does seem of late that many of the GOP’s ideas, particularly the economic ones, have not been as good as they think they are. Which is why they find themselves in the position they do now.

Be that as it may, from a philosophical point of view, I am a fan of democratic processes, sober deliberation when it comes to money, especially in gargantuan sums, spending money wisely for the long-term benefit of the country and not spending a penny more than absolutely necessary. So let’s hope at the end of this we get a stimulus package that’s good for the country, rather than just more political posturing on either side of the aisle.

Citizens of Earth! Here in these dark, cold days of winter deprivation, have you been sitting in your small, cramped, poorly-lit domiciles, eating food straight from the can  and staring your “calendars,” wondering what you will do with yourself on the weekend of the Vernal Equinox, when winter is henceforth banished and flowers and tiny bunnies will once again romp across the land? If you are not otherwise occupied with strange pagan rituals at your various henges and woodland altars — and heck, even if you are, because honestly, how much time can you spend at a henge? They rarely have cable TV or wifi — why not come to Millennicon, the science fiction convention in Cincinnati, at which I will be the guest of honor?

Yes! Millennicon! At which we will sit about on the days of equal night and sun, expounding on the great ideas of our time and/or wearing t-shirts with clever-yet-nerdy sayings on them! Oh, the fun we shall have. They will write epic poems of it, in iambic hexameter, no less, or possibly dactylic hexameter, because it will be just that heroic. You will tell your grandchildren about it! And they will listen politely and with a minimum of squirming, because their parents promised them ice cream if they would humor you! Everyone wins!

So, yes: Millennicon. Six week or so from now — more than enough time for you to plan ahead. Hope to see you there.