It’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Also, I believe — and this is just one man’s opinion here — this might be the sexiest picture of me EVAR.
Now, please return to your normal lives.
Dear Internets: For No Particularly Good Reason I Have Placed a Sheer Sock On My Head
June 24, 2009 By 64 Comments
Wow. I’ve always thought you were a sexy man, John, but this totally seals the deal for me. As soon as I finish this comment, I will be driving cross-country to begin stalking you.
Boy, your head must be really HOT now!
You look a little more like Heinlein every day.
Wait, what?
Having seen this, how exactly am I supposed to return to my normal life now?
See, this should be on the cover of your books, at least at airports. People might look at them. You’re like on the 2nd to bottom shelf (not just bend over, but bend over and kneel height). Should consider making that last name something that puts you at eye height, sadly. I may have moved a copy or two of Zoe’s tale up a few shelves at an ORD bookstore, though.
Rwar!
That is all.
It burns…once seen, it cannot be unseen…searing….
Just don’t start “Singing in the Rain” with your droogies, please. that would be too much creepiness…
Even if you were scripting it, it would be an abomination to remake Clockwork Orange, so I must ask you to stop dressing up for it.
Also, you may feel that putting inappropriate things atop other things is harmless. You are wrong. And if you encourage it, you bear moral responsibility for the foreseeable results of your reckless memes.
oh noes! make me unsee it!
Of all the things I expected to see at Whatever, this has to be the the one thing I never thought of.
At least its not a tin foil beanie to prevent the gov’t radio waves controlling you…
then I’d worry
Oh no…does somebody want some attention? (poor wittle baby)
two thoughts:
(a) do-rag.
(b) prepping for a bank robbery.
either way, pretty ghetto.
That’s not you. It’s John Scalvi, Thief. Fess up — he confronted you in your lair and knowing that John Scalvi once killed a man just to see him die, you instead told him you’d make him the star of a sexy photo shoot. That’s when Scalvi pulled up the nylons and you had to stare into the malevolent eyes.
(shudders)
Dr. Phil
Yet another case of Goldman’s Law preemption.
Y’know, I had a dream about this once. Now let’s talk of it no more.
Separated at birth: John Scalzi and a Pencil Eraser…
My Eyes! The goggles do nothing!
I realize you’re not raking in Grisham-level royalties, but I’m fairly sure you could afford a better toupe’. Better yet, shave the front and go for the “Samurai Author” look.
I have seen the New Normal…and I may have to sign off now.
Wow, I must say, after seeing what effect this most recent project on your (fragile?) psyche, I must say I’m more intrigued than ever to see what it’ll be . . .
Could this be John Scalzi, master of the new guerilla marketing campaign?
Dear God. I’m not sleeping tonight.
It’s vaguely reminiscent of this.
Only vaguely.
Perhaps you could combine this with the tight t-shirt?
Are you trying to get inside the head of a gang banger or something?
This honestly needs to be your next author photo.
I fully support this post. Fully and absolutely. A+++ would read/view again.
18 in the clip and one in the hole
Scalzi’s about to make some bodies cold
You look like a terrorist Kewpie Doll.
Um, John … How can I say this? Your new hat is to sexy as bacon is to a vegan.
Look! It’s Modular Man from Wild Cards!
You look like an extra in Brazil.
Like a sweet li’l newborn buffalo.
Weirdly, that made my day.
Thanks.
I’m trying to think of a good opposite for “eye candy.”
//opposite for “eye candy”
How about “throat acid”?
*burp*
I just threw up in my mouth.
Lose the do-rag, Mr. Scalzi or I’m coming to Ohio with my pocket fisherman.
John, are you bored? Are you thinking of taping something else to your cat? Lettuce or Tomato to go with the Bacon?
Once again, I have great envy for people with internet security that lets them see *all* the pictures on this website. (i work for a financial institution – no, these past few years are NOT my fault)
Oh, wait, maybe it’s not so bad this time…
Wil Wheaton stand up and submit this photo to Fark to be photoshopped. Its crying for it.
Or whoever else posts to Fark.
John Scalzi, reformed bank-robber since 2009.
On project deadline? Check
Random posting up? Check
Countdown to photoshoppery? Place your bets…
I think I’ve just switched teams, if you know what I mean.
Don’t let it go too much to your head, though. I’ve always had the hots for Neil Gaiman, but this just tipped me over the edge.
So which bank did you rob?
It took 31 comments for someone to mention bacon? Good grief, we’re falling down on the job…
At times, it worries me that I find you so funny.
All that’s missing is the sawn-off shottie and the black bag with “SWAG” written on the side in big white letters.
If this gets coverage like Bacon Cat, I’m quitting the internets and going to live with the Amish.
Procrastination, thy name is Scalzi.
Pardon me while I towel off my extremities… ;)
Oh god my eyes, the picture burns my eyes, someone make it stop.
Say, is that one of the new carbon fiber head sock puppets that can keep Martian Z-rays out of your brain? I hear they work better than lining a John Deere cap with aluminium foil coated with mayo, and are much more comfortable. The carbon nanotubes breathe better, or something.
Helpfully,
Jack Tingle
Sigh… I remember when we used to wear underpants on our heads back in the asg-x dayz.
…the question remains, have your family members looked askance at you now? Or is this the type of thing they expect on a regular basis?
Well, Kiran, in the grand scheme of aberrant behavior, putting a sock on one’s head is pretty mild. I think they can live with this, yes.
Remember; first socks, then shoes.
“Son, you got a panty on your head.”
I am going to interview you when the HIGH CASTLE comes out just so I can make Jeff Pierce use that photo in January Magazine.
You should put that photo on Twitter. I kind of hate your current Twitter image. I’m just sayin’.
Psst… John… I think you need to get a refund on that new hairpiece. It’s a tad… how to say… unnatural.
Is that in order to illustrate the small percentage of you that would like to rob a convenience store?
Holy Hannah, it’s the young John Banner!
You should have taped bacon to it
If I was a clerk at Circle K, I would give you all the money in the register.
Just saw the picture. oh my.
“It’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”
Also, just got ‘The Princess Bride’ reference. ;-)
One of my all-time favorite movies. My only defence is I *do* read this blog at work… :)