Dear Internets: For No Particularly Good Reason I Have Placed a Sheer Sock On My Head

It’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Also, I believe — and this is just one man’s opinion here — this might be the sexiest picture of me EVAR.

Now, please return to your normal lives.

64 Comments on “Dear Internets: For No Particularly Good Reason I Have Placed a Sheer Sock On My Head

  1. Wow. I’ve always thought you were a sexy man, John, but this totally seals the deal for me. As soon as I finish this comment, I will be driving cross-country to begin stalking you.

  2. Having seen this, how exactly am I supposed to return to my normal life now?

  3. See, this should be on the cover of your books, at least at airports. People might look at them. You’re like on the 2nd to bottom shelf (not just bend over, but bend over and kneel height). Should consider making that last name something that puts you at eye height, sadly. I may have moved a copy or two of Zoe’s tale up a few shelves at an ORD bookstore, though.

  4. It burns…once seen, it cannot be unseen…searing….

  5. Just don’t start “Singing in the Rain” with your droogies, please. that would be too much creepiness…

  6. Even if you were scripting it, it would be an abomination to remake Clockwork Orange, so I must ask you to stop dressing up for it.

    Also, you may feel that putting inappropriate things atop other things is harmless. You are wrong. And if you encourage it, you bear moral responsibility for the foreseeable results of your reckless memes.

  7. Of all the things I expected to see at Whatever, this has to be the the one thing I never thought of.

  8. At least its not a tin foil beanie to prevent the gov’t radio waves controlling you…
    then I’d worry

  9. two thoughts:

    (a) do-rag.

    (b) prepping for a bank robbery.

    either way, pretty ghetto.

  10. That’s not you. It’s John Scalvi, Thief. Fess up — he confronted you in your lair and knowing that John Scalvi once killed a man just to see him die, you instead told him you’d make him the star of a sexy photo shoot. That’s when Scalvi pulled up the nylons and you had to stare into the malevolent eyes.


    Dr. Phil

  11. Y’know, I had a dream about this once. Now let’s talk of it no more.

  12. Separated at birth: John Scalzi and a Pencil Eraser…

  13. I realize you’re not raking in Grisham-level royalties, but I’m fairly sure you could afford a better toupe’. Better yet, shave the front and go for the “Samurai Author” look.

  14. Wow, I must say, after seeing what effect this most recent project on your (fragile?) psyche, I must say I’m more intrigued than ever to see what it’ll be . . .

    Could this be John Scalzi, master of the new guerilla marketing campaign?

  15. Perhaps you could combine this with the tight t-shirt?

  16. This honestly needs to be your next author photo.

  17. I fully support this post. Fully and absolutely. A+++ would read/view again.

  18. 18 in the clip and one in the hole
    Scalzi’s about to make some bodies cold

  19. Um, John … How can I say this? Your new hat is to sexy as bacon is to a vegan.

  20. I’m trying to think of a good opposite for “eye candy.”

  21. //opposite for “eye candy”

    How about “throat acid”?


    I just threw up in my mouth.

    Lose the do-rag, Mr. Scalzi or I’m coming to Ohio with my pocket fisherman.

  22. John, are you bored? Are you thinking of taping something else to your cat? Lettuce or Tomato to go with the Bacon?

    Once again, I have great envy for people with internet security that lets them see *all* the pictures on this website. (i work for a financial institution – no, these past few years are NOT my fault)

    Oh, wait, maybe it’s not so bad this time…

  23. Wil Wheaton stand up and submit this photo to Fark to be photoshopped. Its crying for it.

    Or whoever else posts to Fark.

  24. On project deadline? Check
    Random posting up? Check

    Countdown to photoshoppery? Place your bets…

  25. I think I’ve just switched teams, if you know what I mean.

    Don’t let it go too much to your head, though. I’ve always had the hots for Neil Gaiman, but this just tipped me over the edge.

  26. It took 31 comments for someone to mention bacon? Good grief, we’re falling down on the job…

  27. At times, it worries me that I find you so funny.

  28. All that’s missing is the sawn-off shottie and the black bag with “SWAG” written on the side in big white letters.

  29. If this gets coverage like Bacon Cat, I’m quitting the internets and going to live with the Amish.

  30. Pardon me while I towel off my extremities… ;)

  31. Oh god my eyes, the picture burns my eyes, someone make it stop.

  32. Say, is that one of the new carbon fiber head sock puppets that can keep Martian Z-rays out of your brain? I hear they work better than lining a John Deere cap with aluminium foil coated with mayo, and are much more comfortable. The carbon nanotubes breathe better, or something.

    Jack Tingle

  33. …the question remains, have your family members looked askance at you now? Or is this the type of thing they expect on a regular basis?

  34. Well, Kiran, in the grand scheme of aberrant behavior, putting a sock on one’s head is pretty mild. I think they can live with this, yes.

  35. “Son, you got a panty on your head.”

  36. I am going to interview you when the HIGH CASTLE comes out just so I can make Jeff Pierce use that photo in January Magazine.

  37. Psst… John… I think you need to get a refund on that new hairpiece. It’s a tad… how to say… unnatural.

  38. Just saw the picture. oh my.

    “It’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”

    Also, just got ‘The Princess Bride’ reference. ;-)

    One of my all-time favorite movies. My only defence is I *do* read this blog at work… :)