I’ve just updated my “Availability for Interviews, Appearances and Writing Work” page with the following paragraph:

First, a general note regarding both fiction and non-fiction: I do not write for others without being paid. This is my job. If you cannot pay me to write for you, do not ask me to write for you; you’ll be wasting my time and yours. Requests for non-paid writing will be deleted unanswered.

Because people needed to be reminded.

And I will tell you why: The “high hat” cymbal is where the crash cymbal should be, the crash cymbal is where the ride cymbal should be, the snare is where the high hat should be, and the tom is where the snare should be. The only two things vaguely where they’re supposed to be is the floor tom and the bass drum pedal. And to top it all off, everything is too close together. All of which means if you’re a real drummer and you sit down to be the “drummer” on Guitar Hero, you’ll be full of teh suck. Or at least I was. I have cuts and bruises on my fingers from repeatedly jamming my digits into the cymbals.

Not to mention the first couple times I tried it I failed out because, silly me, I was actually trying to drum the actual drum part, as opposed to the fake drum part. Gaaaah.Eventually I figured it out, but I have to tell you, intentionally doing the drum part wrong is, like, you know, wrong, especially when the drums and cymbals are all in the wrong place. After a few songs I switched over to fake bass guitar, because not being a bass guitarist, doing a fake bass line didn’t bother me as much.

Don’t mind me, I’m just kvetching. About EVIL FAKE DRUM SETS. That’s all.

Because I know you all think the cats get most of the blog love. So here you go: A double shot of dog.

Don’t say I never did nothing for you.

It was time for Athena’s bullwhip lesson. Why did Athena need a lesson in how to wield a bullwhip? I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question there. As it turns out, Athena’s pretty good with a whip, as is her mother, and our friend Yanni, the woman administering the tutorial above. Kodi is not very good with the bullwhip, alas; something about a lack of opposable thumbs. But it turns out she has a range on other weapons to employ, so don’t you worry about her. She’s fine.

How has your Sunday been?