My Very Cool New Pocket Knife

It is thus:

It was given to me as a groomsman gift by my friend Kevin, and it was personalized for me through the means of the ringed planet and moons on the handle. It is actually the first pocket knife I’ve owned since I was a child, and it really is excellent: It’s a Spyderco blade with the handle work by Santa Fe Stoneworks. I’ve already used it to open things and almost nicked myself with it, so I’m well on my way. As I’m driving to Confluence this next weekend rather than flying, I’ll be taking it with me, so be sure to ask to see it. It’s very pretty. And I promise not to stab you with it. PROMISE.

Comments

  1. Patrick says:

    My stabbin’ hand’s gettin’ itchy …

  2. Patrick A. says:

    Pocket knives: handy and stylish!

  3. Nathan says:

    I loved the twitter post just after you had drawn your own blood, but I’ll admit that I thought it was a joke. Now, I see that you have actually stabbed yourself with a real knife – your own pocketknife – congrats on a nostalgic moment!

  4. Blaine says:

    Sante Fe Stoneworks does some really nice stuff; also, you really can’t go wrong with Spyderco steel. All things considered you made out pretty damn well. I really like the planets in the handle. Very cool.

  5. MasterThief says:

    Damn, I wasn’t sure if that was a pocketknife or a straight razor. You could probably shave with it, but I’m guessing it’s not a good idea to have something so sharp in range of your jugulars.

  6. Lynn K says:

    My dad used to say that a man without a pocket knife is like a eunuch visiting a brothel. Congrats on the new knife. You will wonder how you got along without it.

  7. Christopher Turkel says:

    @Lynn K Well, I’m screwed.

  8. J. Andrews says:

    Shiny!

  9. joelogon says:

    Spyderco Kiwis are nice; I’d like to get one eventually, though I usually go for more utilitarian stuff. The ringed gas giant es el Bomb, though.

  10. WaywardScooterGirl says:

    Nice! I have a Spyderco pocket knife I really like too. It comes in handy for opening boxes and fending off small furry rodents. Okay the second part, not so much. But I still really like my little knife.

  11. Jeff Hentosz says:

    Very nice. Handle = Envy. Look to see if there’s an awl-like thing folded into it that you can use to stitch yourself up.

  12. Scott Lynch says:

    Ooh, that is gorgeous. I have to agree with #6, too- When you start carrying shiny new pocket tools, you can’t help but start looking for ways to fundamentally alter consensual reality with ‘em.

  13. Marko says:

    Very nice blade.

    Of course, the cats are all like, “Oh, great. Which one of his hairless monkey buddies had the smart idea to give Pinky a real, sharpened blade? He’ll be trailing blood for days.”

  14. Dave Huss says:

    Old Wives tale John,
    One should never receive a knife as a gift, it will always turn on you. It was a tradition to give the person gifting you cutlery a penny so as to be “Buying” the thing. Don’t know where this originates but couldn’t hurt to send your friend a card with some coin. Never know.

    Really nice gift, for the knife guys, Spiderco is top of the line.

    Dave

  15. Marko says:

    Dave #14,

    that’s just superstitious nonsense. I’ve received lots of knives as gifts from friends, and not once has one of them turned on mAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEE

    (I think the blade/gift thing states that a gifted knife will sever the friendship, which is why you exchange a coin for it.)

  16. Lefty says:

    Spyderco knives are great! Add in a Surefire flashlight and a box of Ramen noodles, and the Suburban Survival Kit is complete. :-)

  17. Andrew Fedge says:

    That’s so cool.

    The only improvement I could have suggested is a small engraving saying “Property of Jane Sagan.” :D

  18. John Scalzi says:

    You think I would steal from Jane Sagan? What are you, nuts?

  19. Deborah says:

    That is, indeed, a most lovely blade.

    *makes mental note not to irritate John at Confluence* On the other hand, will definitely be asking to see it, as Kosagi is a fan of sharp pointy things.

    Since you’re driving, would you like some notes on the route? I go to that area fairly frequently and while I don’t know it perfectly, I’d be glad to help.

    If you want them, I’ll drop you a private email.

  20. Brett L says:

    I am eaten with knife envy. I had to order a replacement for my CRKT KISS that went missing over 4th of July weekend. Of course, someone had to ask if I had it yesterday. Grr. It is probably a good thing that not having a knife is the trigger for me wanting to make stabby.

  21. mythago says:

    You’re going to need a new Stabby Song to go with it.

    (If you give a Midwesterner a knife…)

  22. J.B. says:

    Pocket Knife as a groomsman gift? Very cool and much better then anything I’ve ever got at the three weddings I’ve participated in.

    Just out of curiosity John, what did you give out as groomsman gifts at your wedding?

  23. Jessica says:

    Hot damn, what a beauty!
    Such a thoughtful gift.

  24. Mmmmmm… knives. Careful: first it’s one Spyderco here and another one there, then you’re looking at Benchmades and Microtechs… and suddenly you’re thinking “huh, if I sold my car, I could totally afford that custom damascus steel Makora…”

  25. Colin F says:

    Carrying a pocket knife? Doesn’t that make you, like, some kind of terrorist or something?

  26. Andrew says:

    Colin F @ 25

    Apparently it does. I went to Philadelphia with a buddy who always carries a Swiss Army Knife; he rarely uses it, he just carries it.

    Being in Philadelphia we went to see the sights. The security dude at the Liberty Bell was not impressed by the carrying of a Swiss Army Knife. Apparently the U.S. Government is seriously afraid that terrorists from Canada (that is where we are from) are going to inflict serious damage on the Morale of the United States by scratching up the ole’ Liberty Bell.

    We managed to get in to see the Liberty Bell without any side trips to Gitmo and without having the Swiss Army Knife confiscated.

    Cheers
    Andrew

  27. JimR says:

    You call that a knife?

    Now THAT’S a knife!

    (Well, not actually, it’s a straight razor, but it’s still sharp, steel and cool. And manly. And fun.)

  28. JimR says:

    Wait, do embedded links not work?

    That makes baby jesus feel sad…

  29. John Scalzi says:

    JimR:

    Embedded links work, you just have to actually put in a URL.

  30. David Harmon says:

    Pretty cool! I favor a Leatherman Micra, which is not so cool-looking (or potentially weaponish), but much more compact, and suffices to my purposes.

  31. Josh Jasper says:

    I keep around a Swiss Army tool (not pocket knife). One of the first leatherman type tools they made. It’s solid steel, heavy as heck, and practically indestructible. Also a standard folding buck knife brand pocket knife.

    Nothing fancy, just what works. Fancy is for purple haired nerds who hold disco balls for Amanda Palmer at Google.

  32. Chad says:

    Obviously, you need to give it a name.

  33. Lydia says:

    Oh, wow. That’s *gorgeous*. I see Santa Fe Stoneworks makes things with dinosaur bone, too. Hmmmmm….

  34. iain says:

    #32 Chad:

    Pokey?

    Bladerunner?

  35. Jasper@31: Touche!

  36. Jason says:

    Very cool. Spyderco makes a good knife.

  37. Joan says:

    Gorgeous. Just don’t forget to always put it in checked baggage. I’d be a shame to lose that to the TSA!

  38. Dr. Phil says:

    Yes, but does your pocket knife have 8GB of USB Swiss Memory like my latest?

    Dr. Phil

  39. Dr. Phil says:

    And a laser.

    Dr. Phil

  40. John Scalzi says:

    It does NOT have a laser.

  41. Dr. Phil says:

    With the laser, that Swiss Army Memory Knife becomes a cat toy — or rather a device for toying with cats. Something that sharp blades and 8GB of memory mix poorly with cats.

    Dr. Phil

  42. MasterThief says:

    @ Dr. Phil:

    A Swiss Army lightsaber would be awesome.

  43. Josh Jasper says:

    Swiss army lightsaber? Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant tool for a more civilized age?

    Imagine trying to use the cork screw attachment. Bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’72? *vwommmm* *hissss* Oops.

  44. Dr. Phil says:

    Here, let me use the laser to weld close the bottle top…

    Actually, the Swiss Army Light Saber would be short — so you can slice or peel apples with it.

    Dr. Phil

  45. Frank says:

    #32 Chad:

    Mr. Pointy?

  46. Jake says:

    Dr. Phil, why do you need a laser and flashdrive on your knife?

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