Whatever

Aug 13 2009

Tolerant Wife is Tolerant

51 responses so far

51 Responses to “Tolerant Wife is Tolerant”

1. # Markoon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:14 pm

   If I were you, I wouldn’t waste money on Powerball tickets…you’ve used up pretty much all your allotted luck the day you met your wife.

2. # Rob in Denveron 13 Aug 2009 at 4:28 pm

   I’ve seen this same look from my wife in pictures of us. It’s not tolerance. I thought it was, too. That is, until I read her journal: It’s a combination of pity and bewilderment. With a dash of regret.

3. # chang, who is not changon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:44 pm

   O Foolish Scalzi,

   Impatient Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club is Impatient.

   Do you realize how much tripe of yours the Executive Committee has had to endure since your last update of the Beauteous Ghlaghghee?

   Way, way too much.

   Way.

   You know what to do, so hop to it. Now.

   The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

4. # martinlon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:46 pm

   That’s the same look our moma-cat used to have when kittens pounced on her. A combination of “oh, how cute,” and “again?”

5. # Billon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:46 pm

   I’ve never seen a naked mole rat in a suit.

6. # JustaTechon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:46 pm

   Downright angelic, I’d say.

7. # beowuffon 13 Aug 2009 at 4:59 pm

   My wife calls that look her “Here we go again…” look… It usually followed by me getting soundly trounced… But in a good way :D

8. # benon 13 Aug 2009 at 5:06 pm

   You know, one day she’s going to find out that you’re not a billionaire-fighter-pilot/surgeon/rock group front man. Then whose brain will you devour?

9. # hughon 13 Aug 2009 at 5:08 pm

   I thought it was more of a “you muss the hair, you die!” look myself.

10. # peteron 13 Aug 2009 at 5:09 pm

    also written as ‘Lucky man still Lucky’.

11. # MasterThiefon 13 Aug 2009 at 5:10 pm

    A Zombie Scalzi draws near!

    Command?

    >FIGHT
    >MAGIC
    >ITEM
    >RUN

12. # benon 13 Aug 2009 at 5:14 pm

    @# MasterThief

    SELECT: RUN

13. # Kate Bakeron 13 Aug 2009 at 5:33 pm

    @ MasterThief

    >ITEM

    Use Hugo covered in bacon.

    (As an aside, when are we going to see _that_ picture?) ;)

14. # PJon 13 Aug 2009 at 5:59 pm

    If I were better at photoshop, you’d sport some fangs and a gold sunburs medallion on a bright red neck ribbon…

15. # Brian Skinnon 13 Aug 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Yeah, this one seems ripe for Photoshoppery.

16. # MWTon 13 Aug 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Isn’t this the same woman who was about to eat a baby a while back?

17. # excentricaton 13 Aug 2009 at 6:02 pm

    That seems to be the same expression she had in your Hugo night picture. I’m starting to suspect that that is just how she looks at you…with bemusement.

18. # Chason 13 Aug 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Yeah, anyone in a long term relationship is probably familiar with that look. I know that I am.

    Here’s to tolerant partners! Without them, there’d be a whole lot of lonely wierdos.

19. # Johnny Carrutherson 13 Aug 2009 at 6:17 pm

    At least you’re not trying to tape bacon to her. :)

    If I were trying to write a caption for Krissy’s thoughts in that photo, they would be, “I said for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. I probably should have added ‘for normal, for strange’ to the vows as well.”

20. # Erikon 13 Aug 2009 at 6:18 pm

    That’s awesome

21. # Rebecca Knighton 13 Aug 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Your wife has gorgeous hair :). I know that sounds kind of odd to call out, but damn, woman. Nice work!

22. # Chrison 13 Aug 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Forsaking the speed and pack-hunting of its cousins in favour of clever mimicry, Velociraptor scalzii was able to exploit an untapped hunting ground: genre award banquets.

    /Attenborough VO

23. # Chang, incarnadineon 13 Aug 2009 at 9:30 pm

    I think it’s because she knows that within 6 inches of her right elbow is your tender bitzes.

    Oh, and she probably loves you or something.

24. # Alethea Kontison 13 Aug 2009 at 9:42 pm

    I’m really surprised there’s not a comic book about you guys yet. Really.

25. # adelheidon 13 Aug 2009 at 9:48 pm

    @rebecca in #21 I was thinking the same thing. It was a good hair day and there her husband looks like he’s about to ruin it.

26. # Funkulaon 13 Aug 2009 at 10:36 pm

    It’s a horrible thing to say to anyone, but you look somewhat like Buster from Arrested Development in that picture.

27. # Phoenician ina time of Romanson 13 Aug 2009 at 10:39 pm

    ‘Krissy was serene, knowing that her hair only looked that good because she kept it electrified…”

28. # Paula Helm Murrayon 13 Aug 2009 at 10:55 pm

    I vote for the “she is in proximity to your tender bitses.” I often have that same expression about Dr. Paisley.

    Just saying.

29. # Josh Jasperon 13 Aug 2009 at 11:04 pm

    She totally is. And looking awesome in that outfit. You, OTOH, look like a deranged undertaker.

30. # Different Angleon 13 Aug 2009 at 11:13 pm

    it is good to have a wife who can let you get goofy.

31. # cybrgrlon 13 Aug 2009 at 11:35 pm

    ZOMBIES! Oh wait… it’s just Scalzi.

32. # Tomon 13 Aug 2009 at 11:56 pm

    Hmm was this before or after the Twitter message about John flirting w/ other women.

33. # Jim Gon 14 Aug 2009 at 12:03 am

    My wife, on this picture: “Is it just me, or does every picture of John Scalzi with his wife make it look like she lost a bet?”

    Or maybe she’s projecting.

34. # Jonathan Vos Poston 14 Aug 2009 at 12:58 am

    What impresses me is that your magical gestures managed to levitate those two glowing glyphs made of 4 flowing line segments each. That anyone misinterprets your hand/arm gestures, and your mouth being opened to emit Dread Syllables, just shows that they never graduated from the California Institute of Thaumaturgy, as I did.

    Magical spells are initiated by one-dimensional strings of syllables (Mantra) or musical tones; by two-dimensional diagrams of the annotated Pentagram variety and Magic Squares (See Abraham the Jew) and other Magical Diagrams as geometrical designs, representing the mysteries of deity and creation; or 3-dimensional structures such as iconic statues or voodoo-dolls; or 4-dimensional systems of limbs, hands, fingers, wands, dynamically changing over time.

35. # Springon 14 Aug 2009 at 1:09 am

    I think it’s a very cute picture if do say so myself!

36. # Lizzieon 14 Aug 2009 at 2:49 am

    My goodness, her hair is so elegant!

    You best not screw that up if you want to keep said tolerance…

37. # Deson 14 Aug 2009 at 4:50 am

    Your wife is truly gorgeous in this photo, lucky man!

38. # Sheckyon 14 Aug 2009 at 6:55 am

    Heh. That look is almost “How… quaint.”

39. # Widgett Wallson 14 Aug 2009 at 7:40 am

    “Again? That trick never works.”

40. # Dave Hon 14 Aug 2009 at 9:19 am

    “You, OTOH, look like a deranged undertaker.”

    I was thinking of an MIB agent who got his neuralizer backwards, but that works too.

    John, if you can still make her laugh then you can count on many, many years of blissful tolerance.

41. # Rafe Broxon 14 Aug 2009 at 9:28 am

    What I find terribly amusing about this is the fact that almost identical pictures of my Substantially Better Half and I exist, though I’m not wearing a suit.

42. # Thenaon 14 Aug 2009 at 10:39 am

    Caption:

    “I do this because I love you, and don’t you ever forget that, because I’m keeping score and some day….”

43. # Aoedeon 14 Aug 2009 at 1:56 pm

    Is that Diffuse Glow? I love diffuse glow! It’s such a cheapskate way to make photos look better >.>

44. # John Scalzion 14 Aug 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Yes. I love me some diffuse glow.

45. # Network Geekon 14 Aug 2009 at 2:33 pm

    My parents lied to me.
    They told me if I became a writer that I’d be poor and no one pretty would ever love me. So, I went into IT, got married to the Queen of the Damned and started working long, long hours. Now, I’m divorced and broke.
    You, on the other hand, Mr. Writer-Person, make a *nice* living and have a lovely wife!

    Damnit! I KNEW I was right!

46. # Harvey the Puccaon 14 Aug 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Oh boy.. she has her hands under the table holding her bat….. hehehe….we’re going to get to see a beating… OR
    go ahead touch my hair and you will not live to regreat it…
    OR
    Do i always have to be your straight man….
    OR
    Yes your daughter will see this and SHE will use the bat on you….
    OR
    Do you know where the rocket is going ….hhhmmmm

    Any of these says OUCH… poor Chrissy, can’t take him anywhere with out the correction coller on.

47. # Tim Eiseleon 14 Aug 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Something that strikes me as amusing: 46 responses so far, and not one of them asked, “So, why were you doing that, anyway?”

    Not *one*!

    I guess everyone assumes they know the answer (something along the lines of “John was feeling goofy, and wanted to amuse himself or others”), but still. If it was almost anybody else doing it, the first question out of pretty much everybody’s mouth would be “Why?”

48. # Bobon 14 Aug 2009 at 4:32 pm

    #47: Why? What is this “why” you speak of?

49. # Rick Wayneon 15 Aug 2009 at 5:32 pm

    The Tolerant Wife nearest and dearest to me has a word, and two ways to say it.

    One is when we’re out somewhere and I’m waxing elegant. Not just waxing elegant but washing verbose and hand-detailing long-winded, in the middle of which I unintentionally come out with some double-entendre. She bats her lashes and unholsters The Voice: “Later.”

    This shot, lofted delicately into my rigging, causes my helm to blunder alee, my spars bang, my way devolves to a pathetic drift. And I shut up, which contents her.

    That’s one way.

    At other times, I cross some boundary, violate some taboo, perhaps proffer the very same cleverly risque bon mot (but intentionally). The nostrils flare a millimeter, the gunmetal-gray eyes level and fix me. I am given to know, with no words uttered, that my fate is sealed, but it will be delivered: “Later.”

    Not sure which one Krissy’s giving you here, John. But I dare to hope, looking at her, that you’re as lucky as I am.

50. # Viabajaon 17 Aug 2009 at 3:04 pm

    JS, I see you like living on the edge!!

51. # BeVibeon 18 Aug 2009 at 7:46 am

    I finally got to see the picture last night (they’re blocked here at work). I met & got to sit next to Krissy at the ‘Zoe’s Tale’ reading here in Dayton. I knew she was a lovely, and loving woman. You could just see it in her eyes. But, DANG, she looks amazingly HAWT in this picture.

    You guys are sure lucky to have found each other. You obviously love each other very much. You also obviously *amuse* each other, and that lasts longer than the physical part of love. At least, according to Carl Reiner, who, when asked the secret to his long marriage, stated he makes his wife laugh.

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