18 thoughts on “Not Dead or Abducted or Transformed Into a Newt

  1. Hey, I figure you only actually owe us posts five days a week – weekend posts are bonus. But then, I might ask you read my manuscript someday, too.

  2. What? A day…without a computer? Huh? I don’t get it…you mean you do everything on your cell phone?

  3. First Lawrence Watt-Evans, now you. It must be “Return to Pluto to report back to our overlords” week.

  4. No John, I hate to break it to you but a day without computer isn’t allowed. You must amuse us! I order it! Dance monkey, dance!

  5. zombie scalzi! zombie scalzi!
    quick, somebody do something. i’m going back to bed. the interwebs are boring and scalzi is busy terrifying children at a skating rink of all places.

  6. Y’know, I don’t think that Scalzi actually wrote this posting. I think it’s his computer pretending to be John and forging this “Please excuse John from today’s participation…” note.[1] The bit about having a “non-computer-centric day” is a deliberate ploy to mislead us — it sounds awfully stilted and out of character, doesn’t it?

    Nah, that wouldn’t ever happen. The Computer is Our Friend, and friends are always to be trusted. Right?

    ____
    [1] Oops, that’s the note intended for his online gamimg group and Twitter followers. It reads thus:

    Please excuse John from today’s participation, as he will attend a memorial gathering in honor of the Last Area Code [2][3] along with his cats.

    /s/ Mrs. Scalzi

    [2] Per US convention until approximately 1997, after which 1+ dialling was mandated and seven- or eight hundred more area codes became possible.

    [3] Traditionally celebrated on 9/19, of course.

  7. @ #JJS

    if that question is directed toward us (i.e. the commenters) i’m sure someone will tell you a newt is a small salamander kind of thing from europe, north america and sometimes asia. sometimes it’s even got bright, pretty colours.

    if you are asking *scalzi* “what in the name of all that’s holy. . .” you are presuming that he still has an understanding of what is/is not holy in his current zombie like (and/or pod-person like and/or cyborg like) condition. doubtful. very doubtful.

  8. I’m planning to go to the zoo with my classmates today. I think I’ll tell the elephants “John Scalzi isn’t online either” and see how they’ll react.

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