Not Dead or Abducted or Transformed Into a Newt

Comments

1. Jet says:
   September 19, 2009 at 6:43 pm

   Hey, I figure you only actually owe us posts five days a week – weekend posts are bonus. But then, I might ask you read my manuscript someday, too.
2. Juan Sanmiguel says:
   September 19, 2009 at 6:57 pm

   What it like? :)
3. fellow-ohioan says:
   September 19, 2009 at 7:04 pm

   Sssshhhhhh……Be vewy vewy quiet he’s hunting muses.
4. Steve Burnap says:
   September 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm

   What? A day…without a computer? Huh? I don’t get it…you mean you do everything on your cell phone?
5. Christopher Turkel says:
   September 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm

   First Lawrence Watt-Evans, now you. It must be “Return to Pluto to report back to our overlords” week.
6. Jim Wright, who feels only slightly warmer than dead today says:
   September 19, 2009 at 7:43 pm

   What? a post?

   I thought you were dead.

   Crap, we’d already started dividing up your stuff…

   Are you sure you’re not dead?
7. Jamie says:
   September 19, 2009 at 7:45 pm

   No John, I hate to break it to you but a day without computer isn’t allowed. You must amuse us! I order it! Dance monkey, dance!
8. turtlesong says:
   September 19, 2009 at 8:09 pm

   zombie scalzi! zombie scalzi!
   quick, somebody do something. i’m going back to bed. the interwebs are boring and scalzi is busy terrifying children at a skating rink of all places.
9. Christopher Hawley says:
   September 19, 2009 at 8:15 pm

   Y’know, I don’t think that Scalzi actually wrote this posting. I think it’s his computer pretending to be John and forging this “Please excuse John from today’s participation…” note.[1] The bit about having a “non-computer-centric day” is a deliberate ploy to mislead us — it sounds awfully stilted and out of character, doesn’t it?

   Nah, that wouldn’t ever happen. The Computer is Our Friend, and friends are always to be trusted. Right?

   ____
   [1] Oops, that’s the note intended for his online gamimg group and Twitter followers. It reads thus:
   

   Please excuse John from today’s participation, as he will attend a memorial gathering in honor of the Last Area Code [2][3] along with his cats.

   /s/ Mrs. Scalzi

   [2] Per US convention until approximately 1997, after which 1+ dialling was mandated and seven- or eight hundred more area codes became possible.

   [3] Traditionally celebrated on 9/19, of course.
10. bradwphilpot says:
    September 19, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Jet beat me to it. Oh well, back to my reading.
11. heteromeles says:
    September 19, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Damn, I’ll have to try harder on that polymorph spell. Back to the books.
12. KatG says:
    September 19, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Damn, Scalzi slipped out of the shackles again. :)
13. JJS says:
    September 19, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    What in the name of all that’s holy is a newt?
14. turtlesong says:
    September 19, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @ #JJS

    if that question is directed toward us (i.e. the commenters) i’m sure someone will tell you a newt is a small salamander kind of thing from europe, north america and sometimes asia. sometimes it’s even got bright, pretty colours.

    if you are asking *scalzi* “what in the name of all that’s holy. . .” you are presuming that he still has an understanding of what is/is not holy in his current zombie like (and/or pod-person like and/or cyborg like) condition. doubtful. very doubtful.
15. DavidK says:
    September 20, 2009 at 12:24 am

    Actually, she did turn him into a newt. He got better.
16. Nikitta says:
    September 20, 2009 at 3:50 am

    I’m planning to go to the zoo with my classmates today. I think I’ll tell the elephants “John Scalzi isn’t online either” and see how they’ll react.
17. masksoferis says:
    September 20, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Transformed?

    Come to think of it, what would the Autobot/Decepticon Scalzifyer transform into?

    A word processor… with lasers?
18. ntsc says:
    September 20, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Scalzi as Newt Gingrich? Yuck

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