This Is What Happens When the Hobbits Who Have Abducted Me and Forced Me To Act in Their Musical Finally Make Me Angry

Comments

1. Hugh says:
   September 22, 2009 at 12:40 pm

   Were you the hors d’oeuvres?
2. eviljwinter says:
   September 22, 2009 at 12:50 pm

   And suddenly, every bad review John has ever received disappears quickly off the Internet replaced by “Did we say ‘ripoff of Heinlein?’ We, um, meant, er, ‘homage to Hemingway.’ Yeah. That’s it. PLEASE DON’T HURT US!!!”

   John, this should be sent to Publisher’s Weekly with your next ARCs, along with a note saying, “Dear (not so) anonymous reviewer, Don’t make me angry. Here’s why.”

   So what if you don’t really know who they are. The important thing is they don’t know that.

   Fear is your buddy.

   (He said, planning to have “Reject Fear” tattooed on his arm.)
3. Mac says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:13 pm

   YOU… SHALL… NOT… PASS!
4. A.J. says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:14 pm

   We’ve always said that John must not use his powers for evil. Now we know what he can really do. Note to self: must keep John Scalzi happy.
5. Haplopeart says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:15 pm

   So you turned into an Android’s Dream Sheep? Thats what it seems like to me.
6. ss says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm

   as a special added touch – the ad above the comic strip is for Bacon Salt – “Make everything taste like bacon”.
   everything? really? no tape needed?
7. GregLondon says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:22 pm

   No mallet of loving correction?
8. ben says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:25 pm

   Ooooo, I KNEW you were a Balrog.
   …
   Called it!
9. gwangung says:
   September 22, 2009 at 1:33 pm

   No mallet of loving correction?

   That’s when he’s being NICE.

   You don’t want to make Scalzi angry…
10. Brian Johnson says:
    September 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    So, Scalzi turns into the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Alien, and then a cloudy/fluffy Ram-headed…thing. With no thumbs.

    I’m not feeling the fear, here.
11. Luisa Perkins says:
    September 22, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    That is very excellent.

    And have you seen David Malki’s Wondermark comic of today (#554)? Pure, laser-like brilliance.
12. Jim Wright says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Personally, I think it’s better without the context, but hey, that’s me, assbackward into the unknown.
13. B. Durbin says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    I am loving this whole sequence. It’s fun to see bizarre fictional renditions of people, especially when done in an absurdist manner.
14. jp says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    B. Durbin @ 13: Who said anything about “fictional renditions”? As far as I can tell, this is documentary evidence of the Scalzi in its purest form.

    I know this because I’ve met the Scalzi exactly zero times. Plus, it’s on the internet. The internet simply does not lie.

    Or so I’ve been told. By the internet.
15. John Scalzi says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    EVERYTHING ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET IS TRUE
16. eviljwinter says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    “EVERYTHING ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET IS TRUE”

    John Scalzi loves bunnies, enjoys drinks with umbrellas, and is an avid showtunes enthusiast. He is also the editor of Duck Soup, the newsletter of the Marxist wing of the Republican Party. Send him bacon.

    (Don’t you wish you hadn’t said that now, John?)
17. Xopher says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    Brian, it appears to be a representation of Baphomet.

    If you do not fear Baphomet, you are either already His bitch, or a fool (as in “Fools! I’ll destroy you all!” not like Kanye West or somebody).
18. fellow-ohioan says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Baaacon!
19. Xopher says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    John’s Tolerant Wife is tolerant…in public. In private she makes him wear a French maid’s uniform and spanks him purple.
20. Sarcastro says:
    September 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    FRY you fools!
21. Arthur D. says:
    September 22, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    The next step is for someone else to cosplay this at the next con you go to.
22. Luisa Perkins says:
    September 22, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Sarcastro #20 = genius.
23. Ouisel says:
    September 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    eviljwinter @ 16 –

    Scalzi enjoys drinks with umbrellas? He should enjoy drinks with his buddies instead. Much better company. On the other hand, I bet the umbrellas are cheap drunks.

    And his Native American name is Drinks-With-Umbrellas.
24. CosmicDog says:
    September 22, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    I enjoy the fact that abducting you and forcing you to act in their musical wasn’t really enough to make you angry, that somehow the line is *beyond* that point. Interesting….
25. Max Kaehn says:
    September 22, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Just be careful— once there’s more fictional material out there about you than factual material, you become a fictional character.
26. sleeplessinoregon says:
    September 22, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    It was the coke zero torture that got him to perform (every superhero/villian {and I’m not sure which John would be in this instance!} has thier achilies heel, don’tcha know) – hounding on his performance abilities and torching him is just going TOO FAR….
27. Jon Hansen says:
    September 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Judging by the coloring and diction, you appear to be going all Blue Hulk on them. “Blulking,” if you will.
28. BeVibe says:
    September 23, 2009 at 8:19 am

    I can’t wait for tomorrow’s webcomic to find out what happens next.

    The suspense is terrible.

    I hope it will last…
29. Tully says:
    September 23, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    This is why when you invite the Scalzi to a con, you ALWAYS feed the Scalzi bacon at opening ceremonies.

    ALWAYS.
30. jackie sanders says:
    September 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    you need a french maid costume! jajaja :P
31. Jason B. says:
    October 29, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    I got the feeling reading those comics that if it weren’t for the Scalzi content those strips would be pretty dull. So I read a bunch more of the series, and I’ve determined that while it’s composed in a visually appealing way, that comic is boooooooriiiiing. Give me OOTS any day of the week.

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