I Can Say This Because He’s My Representative

I wonder how much of John Boehner’s righteous anger at the recently-passed health care bill is due to the fact that upon its being signed into law, there’s going to be an additional 10% tax on tanning salons. It’s not easy being orange, man.

54 thoughts on “I Can Say This Because He’s My Representative

  1. Can we pass some kind of amendment that bad tans are to be grounds for removal from office, at least for the duration of the bad tan?

  2. C’mon, John. You could say that even if he wasn’t your representative. I’m Canadian and I can say it.

  3. Maybe he gets the mist. And the pedicure with the sponges between his toes.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  4. Also: he’s got clones sitting behind him in the pic above. I thought his side was against that kind of thing. CONSISTENCY, PEOPLE!

  5. I think he realizes that if health care passes, he can kiss his job goodbye. Not his seat in the House. There are enough wingnuts and Tea Party types to keep him in office. But the GOP is going to clean house if they fail to retake at least one of the houses back this fall.

    Actually, he might lose his house seat, too, and to a Republican.

    The economic crisis will reach the tanning industry in Virginia and Maryland shortly thereafter.

  6. Don’t be Hatin’. He’s just supporting his favorite college by sporting their color’s during march madness! (Is there still a team in with orange?)

  7. I thought he got that color from a bottle. Didn’t know tanning booths achieve that shade too.

    It is quite… impressive… for varying definitions of impressive.

  8. First, my sympathies on having that man as your Rep.

    Second, that doesn’t look like a tanning bed tan. It looks like QT.

  9. I’m sorry, John. I’ve got Roy Blunt for my rep, so I feel your pain – it’s like writing letters to a gorram brick wall.

  10. eviljwinter:

    “There are enough wingnuts and Tea Party types to keep him in office.”

    To be fair, Boehner’s district (which is my own) is not notably filled with wingnuts or Tea Partiers; it’s filled largely by standard issue rural Republicans and (in the Dayton suburbs) upper middle class conservatives. Also, the Democratic party doesn’t bother to run credible opposition candidates here, which means that for someone like me, Boehner doesn’t get my vote, but that doesn’t mean the Democratic candidate does.

  11. If you really want to get the Republicans riled, try passing a tax on hairpieces bought from taxidermists.

  12. Completely different–I’m pretty sure Trafficant bought his from a shag carpet remnants warehouse.

  13. I guess I’m lucky, I just missed being one of Eric Massa’s constituents by about five miles.

    Tank@11: Syracuse is still in it too.

  14. A wee bit of a consistency problem here. A typical target of his Party’s hate rhetoric are darker skinned folk yet he goes out of his way to (obviously) artificially darken his skin. Even if he consistently screws it up and gets the tanning version of green hair WTF is his logic here?

  15. Tanning salons will take a hit, so Boehner’s in trouble.

    On the other hand, I’d bet money the Republicans take back the House this election, and maybe the Senate also. My view is that the Democratic party just committed shot itself. Repeatedly.

  16. I so want to win the lottery so I can start runnign ads

    “Vote no on Boehner. He voted no on you.

    I’m completely unaffiliated and could care less who you vote for, and I approve this message.”

    I’m kinda tired of being embarrassed that he’s my representative. The guy bellows hatred, writes pieces for the paper full of lies and bigotry, and yet my neighbors voted the man into office.

    No wonder I don’t hold neighborhood barbeques.

  17. If Boener’s tan has anything to do with UV rays (fusion or fluorescent based), I’d be very surprised.

    And I live with some of those run of the mill rural conservatives, and we have a few whose brains went “sprung” when Obama was elected. When they talk to me about how out of control government spending has gotten, I reply, “I agree, we should end Farm Subsidies.” They end up a similar shade of orange.

  18. While twittering while following the proceedings yesterday, the temptation to intentionally misspell “Boehner” was too great, so I just started calling him Orange Julius.

  19. Trafficant’s got nothing on Blagojevich’s massive wig.

    Steve Buchheit – How about cutting on wasteful military spending, or getting our troops out of the middle east? Closing down Okinawa? Reducing our nukes to enough to *just* destroy the planet once instead of five times over?

    Nahhh. Crazy talk.

  20. John @ 24

    Valid point but successful or not, the intent was to tan (darken) his skin. Not only was his motivation odd but his results were questionable.

    Scott @ 29

    Gleefully stealing somebody else’s line here: If Boehner lost his current job and tried to join the FBI, in Bizzarro World would he be known as Agent Orange?

  21. This doesn’t have anything to do with the post per se, but I think you’ll find it amusing. My girlfriend’s mom is uber conservative, you know bible thumbing, Glen Beck watching. Anyway she sent an email today saying that the democrats are not worried about getting re-elected because they know that there is not going to be another election. Why is there not going to be another election you ask. Because, the democrats know that the apocalypse is coming. That Obama is bringing on the fucking apocalypse with his “evil” health insurance reform. Save us now before someone uninsured gets the medical attention they deserve. The horror.

  22. #Matthew Teet: My mother-in-law sounds exactly like your girlfriend’s mom. Exactly. If you do marry into that family, just keep your head down and only speak up when necessary. Keeps the peace. Then you can make fun behind her back.

    I’m from the state where the representative wanted to deny the uninsured more coverage for just a bit longer. Bunning and McConnell. I still love the state, but not the idiots in Congress. Living in California is a crapshoot. No one knows who represents them.

    I think it’s the tan plus his really blue eyes that sort of freaks me out. And the fact that he kind of said the apocalypse is coming. Does anyone think he’s an alien?

  23. John Boehner cannot be an alien. Aliens would manage to come up with a better NAME. Even my teenagers go “wha? heh heh heh” at “Boehner,” and they’re relatively non-Beavis-ish.

  24. My sincere condolences on having someone with the brain capacity of a drugged Stegosaurus as your congressman.

  25. Why is the head of the guy in the upper right cloned onto the guy in the upper left? Are we covering up something more horrible than an orange man?

  26. John, you’ve got some spam.

    Also, I think Boehner doesn’t actually use a tanning salon, I think his orange “tan” is the spray-on type.

  27. John Scalzi @ 18

    Also, the Democratic party doesn’t bother to run credible opposition candidates here, which means that for someone like me, Boehner doesn’t get my vote, but that doesn’t mean the Democratic candidate does.

    This is something that the Dem leadership seems to often forget and it recently played out here in Massachusetts with the election of Senator Brown. It wasn’t like he had a huge groundswell of support for him. There was a small groundswell paired with a serious lack of lift for Martha Coakley.

  28. You’d think he was supporting Syracuse, but he graduated from Xavier whose colors are navy and white.

    Maybe it’s one of those color tricks where if you stare at him long enough and then look at a white space you see the complementary color.

  29. Keri @ 43:

    But it’s on-topic spam!

    True Religion Jeans? Ye gods, that brand is just asking to be mocked, isn’t it?

  30. Guys. I believe the man’s last name is pronounced BAY-nohr. Probably in the original German there was an umlaut involved in there somewhere.

    Orange, schmorange. What the flap is he doing with that tie? Even I can tell that’s so not his color.

  31. Guys. I believe the man’s last name is pronounced BAY-nohr. Probably in the original German there was an umlaut involved in there somewhere.

    That would make it (originally) Böner, which would not help him from a spelling standpoint.

  32. Teal and orange…Is he a closet Dolphins fan?

    Now THAT’s something that might get him booted out of office in Ohio.

    Even worse. Could he be rooting for Tennessee against the Buckeyes in the NCAA midwest?

  33. Had the HCR bill not passed, I could see the campaign slogan “Your insurance might not cover Viagra, but you still get Boehner.”

  34. I just wish he meant what he said and cut the 200% over the top rhetoric that he clearly doesn’t even believe. It is very unfortunate that the Republican leadership is by and large merely opportunists and not truly conservatives.

  35. # mjfgateson: John Boehner cannot be an alien. Aliens would manage to come up with a better NAME.

    John Bigbooty would disagree.

    “That’s Bigboo-tay!”

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