The Last Picture of the 40-Year-Old Me

As tomorrow I embark on the year-long journey of being 41 years old, I thought I would do an exit photograph of me as a 40-year-old, something that would encapsulate the entire year, that shows me who I really am, with all my confidence, warmth, and yes — I’ll say it — raw, uninhibited sexuality; a photo that captures everything my 40th year on this earth did for me, and to me, and what it promises for the year ahead:

Yes, yes. I think that just about covers it.

Save your birthday wishes and pity for tomorrow, people. You’re supposed to be paying attention to your mom today anyway.

43 thoughts on “The Last Picture of the 40-Year-Old Me

  1. Okay, the most hilarious thing about this image is that I read your comments first, and then scrolled my laptop screen down to see the picture. It was the perfect rim-shot moment. Well done.

  2. Yes, you are still forty today. Now chew on this. Today is the last day of your forty-first year on this earth. Tomorrow will be the first day of your forty-second year. So there!

  3. Marko Kloos@#5

    I’ll throw in another $20 for that. Heck, I’ll even make it USD!

  4. For future reference, 50 isn’t so bad, it’s 51 that sneaks up on you….

  5. Look on the bright side.
    Today, you’re 40.

    As of tomorrow, you’re *IN YOUR FORTIES*

    There, don’t you feel better?

  6. I just turned 44. Did you want me to give you a preview?

    OK, at 41, instead of waking up in the morning with a full bladder that let’s me get on with my day when empty, I frequently get up 2 or 3 times a night now. So get used to it.

    On the other hand, yes, the raw, uninhibited sexuality gets better and better each year. So tell Krissy, “For all of the coming year of my 41dom, you’re welcome.”

  7. Excellent framing and picture composition. You know, if you ever realize that you aren’t going to hack it as an author, maybe you should become a photographer….

  8. Needs more gravitas. For your First Picture As A 41-Year-Old, get some Groucho glasses or something.

  9. Classy pic, sir. I made it to 41 ahead of you by a couple of days, so I’ve done some scouting. What I can say is, 41 is a lot like 31. Only slower.

  10. Eh, I was 42 in the year 2000… An event that amazed me when I thought of it at 18. “Wow, in 2000 I’ll be FORTYTWO!!!” Now? I’m 5 weeks from 52. So shutup you young pups and GET OFF MY LAWN. *grumble* damn kids….

  11. Great Photograph!

    Perhaps a little artificial in the way the photographer obviously intended to flatter you, but that is the way they stay in business, and everyone needs to put bread on the table . . .

    With best wishes,
    – Tom -

  12. John, it’s plain to see that Midwestern life agrees with you. You look just like most of my relatives. (Except for Cousin Maryjane – she had her lip waxed.)

  13. > Yes, yes. I think that just about covers it.

    Nice pic, bad choice of words…

     

    VOICE O/S:
    You are Forty.

    SCALZI:
    I am not an age! I am a hot and sexy author!

    F/X:
    SPOTLIGHT resolves into focus as ROVER, which expands toward us and covers SCALZI.

    Slow zoom and center on disheveled face of SCALZI as eyes bulge.
    Hold a beat, then blackout.

  14. You look like you just figured out Jane Sagan’s going to work you over for loitering or something. :D

  15. Aging gracefully, I see.

    After forty, and as pounds and fat creep on my body, I have started to realize that 3 times a week/ 20 minutes an exercise session is just not enough anymore to keep the beer belly in check.

    I was warned that this would happen, but I am trying to overcome denial, and accept that I must increase my workout time and add weight lifting, or give up the beer, and popcorn, and In N Out hamburgers, and, and, and… instead eat healthier. I think, this may not be an either/or question, but an And answer.

    Fortunately, my older sister has given me her “fat” clothes until I either grow out of them, or make a decision to exercise and eat better.

    Happy Birthday.

  16. You are such a goof, but that’s why we luv ya Johnny.

    30 no problem
    40 no problem
    41 bugged the crap out of me for the day before and the day of my birthday.
    50 no problem
    51 no problem
    52 in 3 weeks…
    I’m thinkin it will be no problem.
    Maybe maturity is kicking in… Nah, couldn’t be.

  17. Well, I’ll give you the ‘uninhibited.’ As to the ‘sexuality’ bit … well, I suppose a woman does like a man who can make her laugh. Even if it is the desperate, quasi-hysterical laughter of a broken, once proud woman who has realised she is in the company of a madman.

  18. The end of an era -no wait, that’s someone else’s title- Let me rephrase that… A new dawn! Yeah that’s better. Think happy thoughts as you proceed into your 40s! Your days of geezing gracefully begin their long slow decline as of today.
    It gets better and worse at the same time. The eye thing is just the start.
    Some one told me that your eyesight is the second thing to go… I forget what the first one was.
    In any event, or in every event for that matter, enjoy your 40s!

  19. Your picture looks like the internal homunculus at the cerebral control panel of just about every guy I know, that day he wakes up and realizes, “Hey–my Thirties are gone, man! I mean gone! How the hell did that happen?”

    Here’s the good news: If one can navigate that disappointment, one finds that, now being past the Lunacy and the Hardest of the Hard Years, you are in for the two or three most productive decades of your life. Enjoy the ride.

    Oh, yeah–put me in for USD20, too.

  20. One more thing: Almost every important accomplishment I’ve ever made in my life happened after the age of forty.

    Your Thirties (OMW, etc.) were just a lead off of first base.

    I look forward to your most productive years.

  21. If you ever change the title of your blog to “WTF?”, you’ve got the perfect title banner photo.

  22. Actually (in my experience), it’s 81 that creeps up on you really sneakily. And yeah, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for those kids who are only about half my age.

  23. This picture reminds me that I read this blog (only blog I read) mostly because you make me laugh. Thanks, John!

  24. I’ve barely grazed my twenties, so the 40’s is still far, far away for me. I just wanted to tell you how much your blog posts make me laugh. Seriously, if everything else is working against you–atleast you’ve got your sense of humor.

    P.s. I actually do from time to time develop crushes on men in their 40’s. So there must be something good about being that age ;-)

  25. When you turn 1 you are starting your second year. So you’re now starting your forty-second year.

    Hope this helps.

    Or your thirty-twelfth year, if you prefer.

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