METAtropolis Contest, One of Five: Win the Tor Edition!

As many of you are no doubt aware, on June 8, the Tor edition of METAtropolis hits the bookstores. Naturally, we the authors of METAtropolis are excited about this fact. We’re so excited, in fact, that we want to share our joy by having a contest, the winner of which will receive a free! copy of the Tor version of METAtropolis.

But we’re not satisfied with running just one contest — why should we be? There are five fine writers of this Hugo-nominated anthology! — so each of the authors is running a contest of his or her own devising. If you go ’round to each of our Web sites, that means you will have five chances to win a free! copy of METAtropolis. How excellent is that.

Here is my contest:

In the comment thread to this entry, write a haiku about life in a future post-oil world. A haiku, just in case you need the definition, is a three line poem with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third (it’s actually slightly more complicated than that, but that’s the definition we’re going with for now). So, for example:

Our car rusts out back
Raccoons live in the back seat
And peer through windows.

Your haiku can be funny, serious, poignant, whatever you like, it just has to reflect a day when oil is gone (or near enough gone that the little that remains is a hot commodity). It doesn’t have to be dystopic — hey, we might just get out of the oil era alive, you know — so don’t feel you have to write The Road Warrior in seventeen syllables. Although that would be cool, too.

So: write no more than three haiku per person, and drop them into the comment thread by 11:59:59pm Eastern on Monday, June 7. Then check out the other contests as well. We’ll each announce our winners on the 8th — that’s the release date — and have the books shipped to you.

And now, follow these links to the other contests!

Elizabeth Bear

Tobias Buckell

Jay Lake

Karl Schroeder

Enjoy, have fun, and good luck!

264 Comments on “METAtropolis Contest, One of Five: Win the Tor Edition!

  1. I know you don’t require a seasonal reference, but I can’t write haiku without them.

    Every tree is bare
    No heat, no lights, no fast cars
    Winter of the world

    Highways broken by
    The assault of trees and vines
    Spring has come at last

  2. amidst tumbleweeds

    the desert swallows the last

    full service station.

    (question about up to three haiku per person: would these additional haiku increase my chances?)

  3. rust streaks in autumn
    running runnels of brown scum
    car cemetery cries

  4. Middle East all dried up

    Termites Eating my Kindle

    Damn I miss plastics

  5. drill holes, fill with soil
    water and sun so it grows
    voila! chia car

  6. We use more nuke plants
    Spent power rods increasing
    The beaches are clean

  7. On my way to work

    No longer smell the burning

    Bones of dinosaurs

  8. The road is littered
    With the ghosts of dead machines.
    All silent. Running.

  9. I don’t understand
    What all the fuss was about.
    Sunlight is free, bro.

    The deep punctures bled;
    The vampires drank, and squandered.
    Mother bleeds no more.

    Suckled Mother’s breast
    but no longer satisfied.
    Time for grown up food.

  10. Oil companies now
    Researching time travel tech
    To plant more dead things

  11. Peak Oil coming soon
    Experts said, but now we know
    Soon meant yesterday.

  12. Palin’s “drill, baby”:
    A forgotten rally-cry.
    ANWR’s safe at last.

  13. if we are lucky
    we will grow lots of switchgrass
    to fuel Gore Station

  14. Only three?! Blast!

    Okay, here are three of the eight I wrote before I finished reading the rules. *sigh*

    No more plastic toys,
    Gail Carriger fans rejoice;
    All tech is steampunk.

    Mad Max inverted.
    Flintstones cars don’t get tickets.
    Slow and Furious.

    Islam is happy
    The foreign devils have left
    Can’t eat sand, though. Whoops.

  15. Clear skies, cold winters
    Old patterns of Earth are back
    But now we must walk

  16. O Polyester!
    Your loss, worse than Tupperware.
    Man, do I hate hemp.

  17. Wind and Sun propel
    Energy universal
    Sky and Space and Time

    Light of the Fusion
    Heating the Earth from within
    Past of tomorrow

    Nuclear Reaction
    Transforming the wars of time
    Flying horse kittens

  18. Life without oil
    Could win me a copy of
    METAtropolis

  19. None of these are meant to be related or a series, each to stand on its own. Just, ya know, in case anyone needed that cleared up. :-)

    We worship the sun
    Wind drives our lingering souls
    Children of fossils

    Burning dinosaurs
    Forgotten baptism of oil
    Engines thirst for god

    Cannons fall silent
    Tanks roll the deserts no more
    Still, we pray for rain

  20. Our car is now charged
    We all head out to dinner
    Boy I miss french fries

  21. Roan muscles jerk,
    Strain the leather harness.
    Transmission broke.

  22. Once we changed the world–
    With intent, and without it.
    Now we learn to change.

  23. The light is fading.
    Car headlights do not turn on.
    Lamps don’t work either.

  24. I don’t miss the oil.
    I can get girls just fine in
    My electric car.

    But without fresh crude,
    How can I keep polluting
    With plastic bags?

    I console myself
    With the certainty that I’ll
    Find another way.

  25. Gears on ev’ry hat
    Those cosplayers jumped the gun
    My gears really work

    First home-grown algae
    Smells slightly worse than it looks
    Green cookies: not good.

  26. Are we there yet, Dad?
    Daddy, what does zoom-zoom mean?
    My feet are hurting.

    Don’t toss that fry grease!
    My Mercedes can use it.
    I’m smart, got diesel.

    Unemployment, son?
    That was before the oil went.
    Freight truck? Ten men pedal.

  27. Drilling for power?
    Why, when so much free power
    Pours down around us?

  28. In this paradise
    We will gain more than we lost.
    Springtime has begun.

  29. Derricks raise up tall
    Rhythms across land and sea
    Turbines catch the winds

    Blackness stretches out
    Covering everything with
    Spills of solar cells

    Melancholy sights
    Hushed roads of waving grasses
    Wow, that train goes fast!

    (A haiku triptych
    Instead of three held apart
    Go ahead, sue me.)

  30. Hot, dry, wind blowing
    I step across the river
    The Mississippi?

    Where did it all go?
    Cars, Trucks, electricity
    BP, why the sea?

    The sun, wind and tide
    Wonderful clean energy
    Cannot pay the bill

  31. a calamity
    has lead us to clean power
    i miss the dolphins

  32. Hot dust fills the air.
    Is my mask made with organics?
    Who cares, I just breathe.

  33. Hydrogen power
    Suicide is tougher when
    You can breath exhaust

    Alaska pipeline
    Sits lonely and forgotten
    Make it waterslide?

  34. The irony was,
    when we needed ammo most,
    no oil for powder.

  35. My Mad Max Haiku attempt:
    In a world dried up
    A warrior comes forward
    Feral kid smiles

    My Book of Eli Haiku attempt, I tried to add the tagline to make it cool:
    Protecting the book
    He will kill to protect it
    And faith is his path

    My The Road attempt (the book, I haven’t seen the movie yet:
    Papa and I walk
    The road is hell-the sky dark
    We must hold the fire

  36. BP drank the oil
    To the stars for the great fix
    Colonize space now

  37. She capped the last well,
    dropped her wrench, and walked away.
    The pear trees still bloomed.

  38. Petrol byproducts,
    we hoard our last Lego bricks,
    more precious than gold

  39. Oops, counted syllables incorrectly! What was:

    No more plastic toys,
    Gail Carriger fans rejoice;
    All tech is steampunk.

    should be:

    No more plastic toys,
    Gail Carriger rejoice;
    All tech is steampunk.

    :)

  40. Silent derricks rust.
    Refineries dismantled.
    No parking shortage!

  41. We’re all out of gas
    But fusion is almost here
    No, for real this time

    I don’t miss the smell
    Of the gas station bathrooms
    Or so I pretend

    The future is here
    But forget about jet packs
    Where’s my ZPM?

  42. O Foolish Scalzi, you may end the contest now.

    The Executive Committee of The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club enters the winning bid:

    Magnificent She
    Illuminates Existence
    Without Oil Scalzi

    Or how about:

    Blacklisted Scalzi
    Along with oil, long gone, smile
    Beauteous Ghlaghghee

    We refuse your offered prize in favor of a series of superb pictures (un-Photoshopped) of Her.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club

  43. Introducing the
    4 in hand Mustang drop-top.
    A real pony car!

  44. This book seems great, so I give it my best shot with fingers crossed:

    In a world gone mad,
    where the greatest enemy
    is you and ourselves.

    What do you think

  45. Real estate bargain!
    Must sell – prime offshore platforms!
    (Refurbish needed)

  46. Sunshine battery
    Plenty more where that came from
    Get it while it’s hot

  47. “When oil is no more
    we will all grind to a halt,”
    the robots lament

    No oil means no cars,
    but also means no cheap plastics.
    There go all my toys.

  48. Damn you, Scalzi, for giving me yet another creative distraction away from my primary creative work! I love haikus, and I cannot resist this challenge. Plus, FREE! book.

    Fields of ethanol,
    Cities contract. But Others
    Choose to walk away.

  49. A quarter-grand slug
    ford bounces at the storefront
    horses bray for home

    Scrapmen lift the tarp
    Chase them away, it’s spring soon
    Still four gallons left

    Out with the top down
    The stars move on, car does not
    we roll it back in

  50. I will hunt for cat
    Wonder the road with a book
    My faith will guide me.

    Flame from wax candle
    Flicker across open book
    I long for light switch

    Fireflies rise high
    In the distance, rusty cars
    line highways, unused.

    Ok, that was my first attempt at poetry since angsty teenagery. That was fun, thanks for the excuse John!

  51. I’m really more of a sonnet kind of gal…

    Once Fertile Crescent,
    Once OPEC, Arabia…
    What will it become?

  52. Yay, the oil is gone.
    Farewell BP and your friends.
    Alas, my feet hurt.

  53. Written by my hubby, Scott:

    Our bodies huddled
    Trying to produce heat
    Can’t light the furnace

  54. the lack of oil? meh.
    What really bothers me is
    all those smug hippies.

  55. Oh, what will they make
    My computer out of now?
    No more geeks. All gone.

    A world without oil –
    The phrase ‘That really grinds my
    Gears’ has new meaning.

    Relax. Take a breath.
    The world is not ending yet.
    Just another stage.

  56. Time to sort garbage

    A bit more hungry this year

    I miss my Harley

  57. When oil is all gone
    BP to drill volcanos
    they tell us it’s safe

  58. remember before
    black water fed metal worlds
    lost machinery

    no more oil – how sad.
    but really devastating?
    zombies at my door.

    tinman frozen in
    time long forgotten. away
    goes the world we knew.

  59. My son asked today
    Daddy, what was plastic like
    I told him it sucked.

  60. with no more plastic
    will the Chinese make toys with
    old worthless T-bills

    When the oil is gone
    the millionaires will be those
    who learned a trade now

    no more fossil fuel
    can we survive without it
    faith in man says no

  61. Hello there, neighbor
    Gotta bury this hooker
    My backyard’s full.

  62. Hey, everybody!
    We’re going to Disneyland!
    Oh. No goddamn oil.

  63. Children Of So-Cal

    Know Everlasting Beauty

    Gorgeous Green-Brown Sunset

  64. it’s a simple idea:
    you can’t Live, if you believe
    the end is coming…

    so don’t give a damn.
    enjoy the peace and quiet.
    i build sailboats…

    i sail and fish,
    and i have epiphanies
    mostly i fish, though…

  65. Coal, wood or hand-cranked?
    When I said I love steampunk
    I didn’t mean this.

  66. Thank you for sharing
    Your repository of
    Hoarded plastic bags

  67. No black gold anywhere
    Weeds grow in the median
    My moped is dead

  68. gone now smelly oil
    clean crisp halogen future
    big profits not missed

  69. Gliding through the dark
    The God of Oil was grinning
    Finally I stop

    I remember oil
    I remember it’s uses
    I forget the point

    No more oil, they say
    I guess we get to go home
    Screw democracy

  70. Coffee, bananas,
    Cinnamon, mangoes, and tea.
    God, how I miss them.

  71. Five visions of life
    in the future; bleak or grand?
    METAtropolis

  72. Our skies, they shine clear,
    now that we have reached the end
    of petroleum.

  73. In heavy traffic
    Breathing in fresh city air
    I see clear blue sky

    Stopped for volt fill up
    Lit a cigarette and leaned
    Against the fender

  74. Don’t miss long road trips
    But I do miss when we’d play
    spot the license plates

  75. Our love, white orchid
    stained yellow gold, worth its weight
    in crude black oil

  76. Oil gone, what to do
    future winters bleak or grand?
    METAtropolis

  77. Nuclear is king
    Four thousand miles per atom
    Green glow is stunning

  78. Empty, rusty pipes
    Like dry bones, abandoned now
    Relics of oil past

    Glass walls towering
    Clean symbols of the future
    High in the clean air

    Electric train stop
    Easiest cross country trip
    Remember airplanes?

  79. Blurred sight, salty taste,
    knife edge, blood drip, a question
    “Your crude or your life?”

  80. Scalzi’s slate demands:
    “Whatever’s haiku is done,
    now get off my lawn!”

  81. Auctioneer cries out
    What is this last barrel worth?
    Going once, twice, sold!

    Driving’s now a sign
    of wealth, since only the rich
    can afford the gas

    Perhaps if we can’t
    travel far away we’ll learn
    to love where we are

  82. too much too quickly
    they all said it wouldn’t last
    we turned to the sun

    giant monsters turn
    whump in the wind on the shore
    the lights will stay on

    can we risk this new
    experiment–mutable
    energy for real?

  83. BP is dead and
    OPEC drills for water now,
    This is the future

    We recycle the
    Plastic continent into
    Toys for our children

    The sun passes ‘bove,
    The trees and plants grow, while my
    Home charges in peace

  84. No birds call to me
    in this black, shimmering swamp
    wish we’d stopped sooner

    .

    washed the few we found
    they died despite soap love tears
    earth bled undersea

    .

    pushing my cycle
    new tech tires crunch rotting twigs
    bird flushed, flies, I smile

  85. Must do this —

    the road warrior
    in seventeen syllables
    now that is too cool

  86. Found Barbie today,
    but my daughter didn’t care
    She’d rather skip rocks

    We set off for Oz
    My buddy needed a heart
    He didn’t make it

    Dystopia nigh
    A private sector makes bets
    We play Rollerball

  87. stuck on this island
    maybe I’ll build a canoe
    at least there are sheep

    —or—

    acidified seas
    dissolved all the pteropods
    there goes my thesis

  88. Light breeze, white clouds pass
    blue birds chirp, water runs clean
    dinos rest in peace

  89. Wind and sun drive us
    Past the oily wreckage of our past
    Without stopping once

    Gone is our learning
    Scattered on lost pages
    Past the great city’s bones

    The fossils have done left
    Now whatever we gonna do
    Without our NASCAR

  90. Black blood running dry
    Forgot the power of blood
    Tupperware gone.

  91. I remember whales

    The Barrier reef down deep

    My children will not

  92. nuclear cars built
    the grass and trees are dying
    insurance rates soar

  93. Biofuel easy to make.
    Now all our highways smell of
    McDonalds French-fries.

  94. I hoard my plastic.
    Cups, containers, forks, and knives.
    Precious now; like gold.

    Solar energy,
    Wind farms, hydro-electric.
    It’s all so boring.

  95. The sunlight pours down
    And into my computer
    Friends visit through Skype!

  96. The oil rigs ran dry.
    Forced to use green power. Now,
    we wait for clean air.

  97. They say it used to
    come from old dinosaur bones
    Texas tea, no more

  98. Stupid car won’t start.
    I wrung out the pelican.
    I’m doing it wrong.

    (@Marna: LOL)

  99. The sails disappear westward,
    You’re out there again –
    Think of me in foreign ports.

  100. 1
    We could no longer
    Refine crude oil, so began
    Refining ourselves

    2
    The new irony
    A coal-made diamond worth less
    Than rough coal itself

    3
    Daddy, what is that?
    A gas station, son, relict
    Rusting, redundant

  101. Kid, it’s bloody cold again,
    Throw on some more books.
    That’s all they’re good for these days.

  102. three eyed frogs are cute
    though are very hard to catch
    near the nuke plant pond

    flowers no longer
    valued for their beauty,
    for their oil content

    like rats we survive
    through hell and high water
    as nature resets

  103. once upon a time
    I woke in Nice and supped that
    night in Old Bombay

    hopeful beacons fly
    no more across oceans and
    cultural divides

    we knit the world once,
    but bled it dry, and squabble
    in the dirt again

  104. Formed from leaking oil,
    streets once were paved in rainbows –
    so my mother says

  105. The jelly most missed
    Fans of Buttsecks weep nightly
    Petroleum gone

  106. Thanks be to Barry
    Who knew I did not need it
    Still I long to drive

    I think a post oil world won’t be so bad.

    -m

  107. Flying horse, dinosaur
    Spinning still on totem poles
    Over ancient pumps

    What was it like, Gram –
    To search for America,
    Backroad by backroad

  108. Coffee helps refuel
    The car seat is a commode
    God bless the methane

  109. I swam in the Gulf
    Ooh! I’m covered with black goop
    I’ve never seen this

    In millions of years
    Oil reserves will return
    Let’s start drilling now

    Horse-drawn carriages
    Destiny repeats itself
    Combustion engines

  110. Paved earth and chromed moon
    Shoeless, we roam asphalt plains
    I miss the aircon.

    Hugo winner? Seer.
    Paolo Bacigalupi
    Foretells the future.

  111. The dog pooped today
    Mine plus hers gives us three pounds
    Three pounds will cook lunch

  112. Seems like there were barely more than seventeen syllables, total, in The Road Warrior

    A time of chaos
    Warrior tribes went to war
    Cities exploded

    We had a contract.
    You happy out there, are you?
    I just want my gas.

    The Lord Humungus!
    Who’s gonna drive the tanker?
    l’ll drive that tanker.

  113. No hydrocarbons
    Cheap plastic crap is no more
    Good-Bye, Wally World

    Hydrogen fuel cells
    Just do not sound powerful
    I miss my Mustang.

  114. I remember when
    The Midwest grew so much food
    We could feed the world

  115. Watching the clippers
    Sail out of the bay, you say:
    ‘Whale oil, who’d have thought…?’

  116. My wife died last week

    Sad, but so very tired

    Bones burn well when dry

  117. I didn’t know then
    how great it felt to always
    photosynthesize.

    After crude ran out
    they cloned tyrannosaurus
    and buried him deep.

    (Can you tell everyone thinks this is the easiest one of all the contests to win? Look at the volume of entries!)

  118. I love hydrogen
    not just for the car but it
    makes me talk funny.

  119. What I miss the most?
    Oil for the door hinges.
    I can’t stand the squeak.

  120. BP sign in the dirt

    Relic of a by-gone age

    Off-world solar killed them

  121. Wind in circles of light
    do we miss our odors
    feel the strenght of overwelming the obsticles

  122. Mennonite cousins
    Laugh at my rookie attempts;
    I’m a buggy noob!

    Amish relatives
    Loan me seed for a garden.
    We’ll can on woodstoves.

    In lands where we ride
    The man who can fix a bike
    Has become a king.

  123. A parade in town,
    the last ‘Vette roars and kids scream
    “Daddy, what’s that sound?”

  124. #1
    Out of oil, but I
    say: “fuck diesel, we’ll always
    have Johnny Walker.”

    #2
    Rejoice drivers of
    the world: this is your chance to
    get back into shape.

    #3
    The world in chaos.
    I sit among the debris
    and watch hippies dance.

  125. Let me guess, John’s daughter is doing haiku’s in school?

  126. Nope. I just like haiku-esque poems.

    David Matthew:

    Indeed, people should check out the other contests, as statistically speaking, at the moment there’s a better chance they’ll win in one of the other contests.

  127. Solar sails tremble
    As the flocks of blimps turn North:
    The first sign of spring.

    We grew flowers, first,
    In the toxic fields next door
    And burnt that harvest.

    I dream of better–
    For me and for my children–
    But not for easy.

  128. Soylent Green? People,
    You don’t want to know what’s in
    Your gas tank these days.

  129. Fossil fuel dies
    Screaming black oil from X-files
    Gets revenge on us.

  130. The matte-black auto
    Catches every photon
    Impinging the road.

  131. Plastic from bamboo
    Fuel grown from the sun and plants
    This is not so bad

    The aliens returned
    For their young left so long ago
    WHAT, you burned them ALL?

  132. Good-bye fuel world
    Self-powered, empowered
    No lament for thee

  133. Oops, disregard previous. Corrected here

    Good-bye fuel world
    We self-powered empowered
    Won’t lament for thee.

  134. I just realized I forgot to add The in my Haiku, hopefully i’m not disqualified, but its for the Mad Max one

    In a world dried up
    A warrior comes forward
    The feral kid smiles

  135. Starships drift away
    Leaving an abandoned Earth
    Searching for power

    One tower still pumps
    Futilely striving for more
    Life goes on besides

  136. They burned oil as fuel,
    forgetting it was feedstock
    for our plastic world.

    I confess I miss
    driving fast on summer nights
    to nowhere at all.

  137. Well, here’s my stab at it:

    Kids play hide and seek.
    Run along the empty pipes
    Rusted from Spring rain.

    Sunrise is smog free.
    We frolic under clear skies
    Breathing Summer air.

    Merry

  138. Woah! Lotsa entries. I’m trying to be collegial, but there are so many. Of course, a lot of them are _good_ which makes it easier.

  139. A world without oil
    where water is pure and clear
    ask Kevin Costner

  140. My Haikus:

    doc brown had it right
    mister fusion gets us to
    eighty eight with no roads

    I once used to drive
    but then the price went way up
    biking in snow sucks

    the world of today
    brought to you by bottom lines
    and short sighted men

  141. Sheep mowing the lawn,
    bleating under dead streetlamps.
    I knit sweaters now.

  142. The Lion, Scarecrow,
    Dorothy, the dog, move on
    without the Tin Man.

  143. Is it three haiku per contest? Or three total in all five contests?

  144. Rich men hide behind
    thick hinged doors that do not squeak
    silenced with black gold

    I squeeze ripe castor beans
    oily fuel for my tractor
    helps me plant more beans

    the wells have run dry
    now the oil barons grow corn
    maize is the new gold

  145. oh this modern world
    lost highways, listless stop signs
    teleportation

  146. Kerosene maples
    Feed low CO2 fuel cells
    (Not good on waffles)

  147. if you only knew
    how hard it is to carry
    your own mass around

  148. corn powered airship
    our lofty stagecoach arrives
    with raisins from Tampa

    **

    beneath the ocean
    century twenty plastic
    our sunken treasure

    **

    this land was tundra
    The Canadian Tropics
    the new comfort zone

  149. Fossil fuel gone
    Cars run on our dead; refined
    Soylent-Oil = people.

  150. My second and third entries:
    ___
    Miles of empty roads;
    Solar-powered mass transit
    Carries most traffic.

    and

    Plastic recycles—
    Combusted gas, not so much.
    Let’s get on this, NOW.

  151. @mote 164
    Sheep mowing the lawn,
    bleating under dead streetlamps.
    I knit sweaters now.

    I love it; well done.

  152. A sound investor
    Bullish on energy stocks
    Buys British Solar.

  153. How curious now;
    when only quiet can be found
    driving around town.

    Ready to rumble
    Engines silently rev’ing
    NASCAR breath easy

    The final death knell
    Struck the oil industry when
    The gulf oil was spilt

  154. GAS: $5 mil limit
    please re-swipe your credit card
    to keep filling tank

  155. Now we have swallowed
    all the liquid bones of time,
    our throats ache dust-dry.

    My sweet electric
    buzz in the veins of my flat;
    Nothing much has changed.

    When they discovered
    that there still would be beer, sport,
    and love, no-one cared.

  156. No, don’t say extinct!

    Where have you hid my blue pill?

    Look pretty sea bird.

    Dry to the bone earth

    We sucked you like good ribs.

    Now you laugh at us.

    Our stupid parents

    Took the best, left us with the rest.

    What a crazy mess.

  157. (This should be easier to read)

    No, don’t say extinct!

    Where have you hid my blue pill?

    Look pretty sea bird.

    —————————–

    Dry to the bone earth

    We sucked you like good ribs.

    Now you laugh at us.

    ——————————–

    Our stupid parents

    Took the best, left us with the rest.

    What a crazy mess.

  158. gengineered oil blight
    and suddenly billions starve
    though eden awaits

  159. It’s been eighty years
    and I can finally say
    the beaches are clean

  160. #2:
    We just kept going
    and never stopped the burning.
    Then the air ran out.

  161. Cars turned rust-corpses.
    Earth sucked dry,nations pedal.
    Freeways now for bikes.

    *

    When the oil runs dry,
    Cities splinter: village towns.
    Hello, feudal times!

    *

    Engines sputter dry.
    Desert wealth dispersed — like sand.
    Water: the new oil.

  162. ~ a haiku called “max” ~

    on two-lane blacktop
    a road warrior still dreams
    of dinky-di cans
    ____________

    ~ exxon of the dead ~

    zombies wouldn’t care
    oil was meant for the living
    the undead can’t drive
    _________________

    ~ there will be none ~

    dear upton sinclair
    the wells have long since dried up
    just like in rock creek

  163. The oil is gone
    But they’re still making money
    BP bought wind farms

    No more oil, but
    Shell had an electric car
    Patent. Quelle surprise!

    With no more oil
    Now they’re skimming for plastic
    From the ocean gyres

  164. my sex life is done
    condoms made of soy require
    too much spit as lube

    who ever heard of
    milk cartons made of paper?
    back in time we go.

  165. Lake filled with grey sludge
    I reach down and cup my hands
    It reeks of urine

  166. Sun is hot enough;
    Water heavy when broken.
    Earth, a happy place.

    Our will to power,
    Gooey Neitzschean hubris,
    Floats on the quicksand.

  167. Power all over
    But they couldn’t see its worth
    Until we ran out

    Hit by an auto
    Electric motor humming
    Didn’t hear it come

  168. The oil shortage sucked
    ‘Til Halliburton made cars
    That run on puppies.

    But on the upside,
    We used all the barrels to
    Bury Michael Moore’s films

  169. We spin our own thread
    Reenactors had it right
    Nerds now save us all

    When we burned them all
    The dinosaurs cried in rage
    They have their revenge

    Arson is harder
    Setting huge fires is my art
    Sparks drift like blown leaves

    Fun fun! :)

  170. With all oil gone
    invention finally made
    my dream flying car

    Throughout history
    We thought the best years were past
    Now we know for sure

  171. Cotton sways again
    Fingers bleed on warm snow
    Faster, boy, faster

    Feet cramp and release
    One more step just one more step
    God I hate shopping

    Crank it again—Now!
    Shit. But look at the view, oh…
    Try to catch the wind

  172. got five miles’ worth left
    in the humvee. saving it
    for fourth of july.

    mel gibson was wrong.
    spiked shoulderpads and face paint
    are so not stylish.

    to commemorate
    i tried to set my car on
    fire, but i couldn’t.

  173. #3:

    Poor old Rush Limbaugh,
    still singing “Drill baby, Drill…”
    Christ, what an asshole!

  174. cars run on sunlight
    CO clearing from the air
    and no gulf oil spills

  175. Brown water sloshes
    against the skyscraper’s base.
    Liberty’s torch: dark.

  176. Silent engines roar
    Cities breath fresh air again
    Mankind chooses life

  177. Fewer people, now.
    No more nitrates, no more crops.
    Cows graze in Central Park.

  178. I love my new car!
    The power? It’s electric!
    A boogie-woogie!

    A shuck of the corn,
    It gets my motor running.
    Ethanol is win.

    Petroleum’s bad
    But I wish baby oil
    Wasn’t literal.

    (I’m going to hell for that last one)

  179. Remember rainbows
    glinting in parking lots?
    Look up, you dumb kid.

  180. Nations load their Guns
    Word is that oil is buried
    In Australia

  181. Hulking monsters die
    Scavengers harvest their bones
    Black blood shall not flow

    Rusted creatures lie
    Skeletons of past glories
    Staring at new worlds

    Past time to adapt
    To re-invent once again
    Just push our lives on

  182. Forget about cars!
    How will I keep my lunch fresh
    without Tupperware?

  183. Our nectar’s dried up
    There must be more deep below
    Let’s drill, baby, drill

    I flew my last plane
    to Spain, with no return home.
    I’m single again.

    These city wastelands
    Ruined roads, our broken bones
    But the ozone’s fixed.

  184. I didn’t realize until I went back to read other posts that Jamie had similar imagery (almost the same last line!) to mine.

    zounds.

  185. Baked earth smirks at me
    a rotten snaggletooth grin
    mouth a rust red stain
    ~
    ‘fraid humanity
    has had its chance to fuck up
    now the bill is due
    ~
    Peddle race training
    hulking derelicts spectate
    sand flies in my wake

  186. Seas and Oceans cry
    Clouds rain Sludge and dark secrets
    Mankind kills, then dies

  187. A last vintage whine
    re.de.fines for the crude world
    its Prohibition.

  188. No heat, no movement
    life is just living, shallow
    without Texas tea

  189. Uncle Sam Motors
    Pushing Caddies out the door
    Destined for nowhere.

    Cars now burn water.
    Oil, we no longer need you.
    Thanks for the leg up!

  190. The past is prolog
    I want my shiny new jet pack
    At least I’m not green.

  191. Oil, armageddon–
    When the aliens came back
    Looking to fill up.

  192. The bones of ancients
    Burn no more; we all huddle
    savage, naked. Lost.

  193. where are the zombies
    they left with the brains and oil
    damn i’m out of gas

  194. When the oil is gone
    I hope I can still run my
    Refridgerator

  195. When the oil is gone
    I hope I can still run my
    Refrigerator

  196. Seamless transition:
    Blowing wind and beaming sun
    keep cities shining.

  197. Entry 1:

    With corn-based plastic
    and electric cars that work
    the future is now.

  198. Blue winter fingers
    Carry books to fire
    To read or to freeze?

  199. oops I missed a word…embarrassing

    Blue winter fingers
    Carry books to the fire
    To read or to freeze?

  200. Oil in the ocean
    None left to fill up my car
    The world sprang a leak

    In the death of oil
    Seeds of the future are sown
    A new age blossoms

    Petroleum was
    gas, plastic, fertilizer
    How do we get food?

  201. Oil fields all shut down
    Burning wood… more pollution.
    Choose solar panels.

    Shell, esso, Q8;
    Closed down, there’s no turning back.
    No more oil, Amen.

  202. Wake with the sunrise
    Check the geothermal pump
    And bike off to work.

  203. (three entries, totally NOT related to each other)

    Of all the oil-based
    Things that have gone away, I
    miss Vaseline most.

    *

    Replace fossil fuels with
    Ingenuity, which we
    Always need more of.

    *

    If only people
    Were still around, they’d see how
    Beautiful it is.

  204. It’s tough at the top.
    I love this forested plain
    But I want a bath!

  205. Dandelion buds
    Can make gallons of fuel
    Invest in a still

    Wood legs are sexy
    At least, my wife told me so
    Can’t afford plastic

    My gramma told me
    Of fresh oranges in winter
    I don’t believe her

  206. Our plastic ocean
    twice Texas, will out-haunt
    Pripyat’s concrete bier.

    ***

    Turtles birthed their young
    On sand roads in paradise —
    the oil washed away.

    ***

    Backyard toys unearthed
    epoxy eyes: Like New!
    we bury them once more.

  207. Powered clean and green

    Our thirst for oil nearly quenched

    Technology saves

  208. Probably totally different from your world, but I work in biology and see a lot of very clever chemists.

    Aging process skipped,
    Cars burn corn. Plastic from plants.
    Why does nothing change?

  209. slave to saw grass,
    chicago blooms in the sun:
    hard work and warm beer.

  210. slave to the saw grass,
    chicago blooms in the sun:
    hard work and warm beer.

    —————–

    (I know I should have
    hit the preview button, but
    I have no patience)

  211. Drunk on Texas Tea,
    Hangover predictable.
    Morning shits now reign!

  212. Solar panes glimmer
    in the rising sun’s light;
    a new era dawns

    Crops sprout in small fields
    worked by sun-tanned villagers;
    the world flat no more

    Grass turns to desert;
    as soon as the oil ran out
    so did the water

  213. Oil slicks surround
    Poor helpless, defenseless seals
    I want my furry coat

    ***

    The sun is winking
    We fuse atoms on terra
    Who is your God now?

  214. Only needed three,
    But thirty-one and counting…
    Scalzi, you’re evil.

    These are just for fun.
    Here’s my competition ones.
    Now. Must. Stop. Haiku!

    * * *
    Road Movie

    Desert road truck-stop,
    Bright in the darkness. I stop,
    change batteries, drive.

    * * *
    Based on a True Story

    Quiet cycle path.
    A hedgehog! Stop, watch, enjoy.
    In a car? Flat hog.

    * * *
    To Be Read in a Four Yorkshiremen Accent

    When I were a lad,
    All this were tarmac’d over,
    Far’s t’eye could see.

    PS. No hedgehogs were harmed in the making of these haiku.

  215. Even though the world
    has slowed to a walking pace,
    she dreams of lightspeed.

    The elders tell us
    of cars packed in cheek to jowl
    like herds of bison.

    Look on the bright side
    at least we will get to use
    our S.C.A. skills!

  216. Sweat-drenched, shivering.
    Remember climate control?
    Haiku keeps us cool.

  217. Less smoke in the air
    relief spreading all around
    breathe freely again

    **************

    windmills as landmarks
    roofs made of solar panels
    no need for oil

    *************

    no heat for our house
    back to horse and buggy days
    oil has run out

  218. horse and buggy trend
    oil spills happen no more
    it’s 2012

  219. Oil from an oil plant
    used to mean something different
    to what it does now.

    (that’s dif-fer-ent, with 3 syllables)

  220. the last piston stalls
    generators fall silent
    dark greedy oil gone

    why do we destroy
    desperate, when sun is free
    wind, waves, eternal

  221. sunlight is free, but
    sadly tellurium and
    cadmium are not

    (not an entry, just a response to others’)

  222. I’m stuck in Peru
    The airplane is out of gas
    How will I get home

    Big oil has died out
    There are no more off shore rigs
    The birds are happy

  223. The deadline is at hand. Good luck, everyone! I’m pretty sure I won’t win, but it was great to read all of the contributions.

  224. I came back to the thread to read some more of the entries. I’m sorry I submitted mine! This one by Alia at 149 covers the same ground much better:

    Solar sails tremble
    As the flocks of blimps turn North:
    The first sign of spring.

    Alia, that’s an awesome haiku!

  225. Silence speeds down the
    Highways of yesteryear and
    Never stops for gas.

  226. Fewer people, now.
    No more nitrates, no more crops.
    Cows graze Central Park.

    (reposted/corrected… I had too many syllables on the recount)

  227. I thought oil was 2 syllables ( ya know, oy-il) my mom says its 1… i used it as 2…

  228. Emma (age 13) @263:

    I kind of agree with you. Oy-il works for me. Perhaps is depends on what part of the country you’re from. Also by the Japanese idea of sound units “on”, you are spot on.

    Various others:
    If in some near-far future you find yourself with a squeaky door and no petroleum products, use graphite. Not trying to stifle creative Haiku, just letting you know. Just in case. It works. (It’s a little dusty, but that should go well with a steamer punk future, right.)

    Also. for some of the other petroleum-based [blush] activities there are some healthier water-based products. And skin softening is better with natural oils too (say OY-ils). Again. Just in case.