The thing about monkeys is, they’re everywhere.
When this is over, you may not want to hear about the monkey theory, but I just have to put it out there.
Everyday -every day- you will have a monkey sighting. You’ll see a picture of a monkey, someone will say “monkey,” you’ll hear a monkey noise, whatever. There are monkeys everyday. If you miss one, don’t worry about it; there will be others.
A friend told me about the monkey theory five years ago. I’ve seen monkeys every single day since then. Usually several monkeys throughout the day. I can’t escape them. Now, you can’t escape them either.
Oh, there will be contrarians among you. Some will say this is ridiculous; that there can’t possibly be a monkey every day. I’m telling you there are. There will even be those who come back here to the comment thread tomorrow, only to say, “See? I didn’t have a monkey sighting all day yesterday.” To them I say that denial is not just a river in Egypt. You may consciously avoid monkeys now; but tomorrow, next week, and forever more, when you’re not thinking about it, they will be everywhere.
On a somewhat related note, I mentioned previously that while I don’t have a cat, I do have friends with cats. Thus, I present Charles. And his monkey.
Please don’t curse me for opening your eyes to all of the monkeys. When you relax and accept it, monkeys are kind of fun. As the Barenaked Ladies sang in If I Had $1,000,000, “Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?”