Daily Archives: September 24, 2010

New Rule For the Internets, Six-Figure Income Division

It is:

1. If you make a six-figure income, you are not allowed to argue on the Internets that you are poor.

2. You are not allowed to argue that you feel poor, which as we all know is just like being poor.

3. You are not allowed to posit the argument that if you hang around with people who make more than you, then you are allowed to have your wee little heart sing the Poverty Song because, after all, you make less than all of them and your life is sad.

4. You are not allowed to use your own poor money management skills as evidence of how challenging life is for those, like you, with six-figure incomes.

5. You are not allowed to use New York City, San Francisco or Los Angeles as an excuse for your piteous cries.

6. If you do any of the above, individually or severally, when the Internets call you out for being clueless, entitled, ignorant and an embarrassment as a human being — and they will — you will not then complain how your words were misunderstood and/or taken out of context and/or that people missed the real point of your argument.

7. This rule applies equally to any defending the right of those with six-figure incomes to mewl about their awful lot in life.

Note to the Internets: This new rule is effective immediately. Please feel free to enforce it. Direct all complaints here. They will be dealt with appropriately.

The (Relative) Peace of OH-8

Election years are obnoxious times, with obnoxious people doing obnoxious things in order to get elected, but this year, at least, it’s a by-election year, which means that here in the 8th Congressional District of Ohio, things are pretty quiet. This is because after 1990, the first year he was elected, OH-8 Congressional Representative John Boehner consistently wins elections by taking two votes out of three. Prior to Boehner taking office, the district had already been in GOP hands since 1938; a Democrat hasn’t come within 10,000 votes of a GOP candidate since 1974, not even when Boehner’s immediate predecessor, Buz Lukens, had to resign because he was caught paying a 16-year-old girl for sex. This is as safe a district as it gets, and unless Boehner gets caught fondling a shaved badger named “Tito” on the floor of the House by C-SPAN’s cameras, the likelihood of him losing an election in OH-8 is roughly the same as the likelihood of me spontaneously changing form into a ginormous Taco Bell 7-layer burrito. As delicious as that possibility may be, it’s just not going to happen.

And so, things are fairly mellow here. There is a Democratic challenger for the seat, a nice young fellow named Justin Coussoule, and I like his platform just fine and will likely be voting for him this November. He has no chance. I have yet to see a single voter sign for him; I’ve not received a single mailing from him that I can remember. I don’t believe the Democrats are exactly pouring money into the district to boost his campaign. On the same token, while I have seen a few John Boehner signs, it’s been only a few, and the signs are exactly the same signs, in color and typography, that I’ve seen since 2002, which is the first election year I was here for. I suspect that people here might just take the signs they got once and pack them away for two years, plop them in the yard in mid-September and then put them back in storage on the first Wednesday in November. That’s Midwestern thriftiness for you.

Theoretically, I think it would be better if OH-8 were in contention every two years, and there was a robust debate between candidates, and I was flooded with mailings detailing every position and bone of contention between the candidates. Yay, participatory democracy. But as a practical matter, and entirely selfishly, I have to say I really don’t mind the quiet. 2012 promises to be an especially obnoxious election year already, and 2010 is bad enough everywhere else. I’ll take my mellow Midwestern island known as OH-8 for what it is.

Update, 4:45pm: Democratic candidate for OH-8 Representative Justin Coussoule pops into the comment thread to disagree with my assessment of his chances. That’s how local politics gets done, 21st Century style.

Clash of the Geeks Updatery, 9/24/10

Some news for you about Clash of the Geeks:

1. First, so far we’ve raised roughly $12,500 for the Michigan/Indiana affliate of the Lupus Alliance of America. That is an awesome figure. You are awesome people. Thank you. But let’s not rest on our laurels, people — there’s still time to donate and make a difference. There’s also still time to tell folks about the chapbook and to encourage them to download, read and pitch in. Every little bit helps.

2. Hey, you know that Wil Wheaton guy? Yeah, the one on the unicorn pegasus kitten. That one. Well, if you go here and download the podcast that’s available there, you will be able to hear him perform an audio version of his story in Clash of the Geeks. And it is awesome. Because that Wil Wheaton guy? Rumor is, he can act. The story kicks in at around the nine minute mark, but if you skip ahead, you’re going to miss out on some excellent Wheaton-y goodness, and you don’t want that.

3. I don’t want to go into any details now, but I will say this: Hey, collectors, completists, fans and just plain general obsessives! We’ll have some exciting Clash of the Geeks news for you in the upcoming couple of weeks. And that news will be — anyone? Anyone? Yes: it will be awesome. So stay tuned for that.

Those are the updates for today.