So, I’m busily writing away on my newest book, the one that should be out sometime in 2012. And I just wrote a character whose name is currently “Lieutenant Merkel,” for no good reason than because for that second I was thinking about Germany. But I don’t really like the name for the character, so I figured, hey, why not have a contest, the winner of which will get to have his or her name replace that of Merkel’s?
Why not indeed.
So, a contest! The winner of which will have his or her name replace that of Merkel’s. Now, before you enter, here’s what you need to know:
1. Merkel/You is a bit player, but of generally good character;
2. Merkel/You may or may not live to see the end of the story. Because if someone has to die, I need to work with what I have on hand.
So you need to be cool with the fact there’s a chance I might kill “you” off. But if I have to I’ll try to have it be, like, heroic and all. But no promises. If it makes sense for the story to have you ingested by voles, I’ll be doing that. Because, hey, man. I’m an artist.
To acclimate yourself to the concept of death, that will be the theme of the contest.
For the contest, write a haiku from the point of view of some who is either about to die or has just died, from one (or more!) of the following:
1. A spider monkey or monkeys;
3. Poor GPS directions
4. And, of course, Spontaneous Human Combustion.
So, for example:
I’m really amazed
Who knew that spider monkeys
Enjoy human snacks?
Did you know humans
Smell like bacon when they fry?
Just found out myself!
Got it? Excellent.
1. One haiku per person. So make it good.
2. “Haiku” in this case means a poem in 5/7/5 syllable configuration. You don’t need to make a seasonal reference.
3. All entries have to be in by 11:59:59pm Eastern, Sunday, January 16, 2011.
4. If you win, the name used will be your last name. The person using your name may or may not be of your own sex/nationality/creed/sexual predilections, etc. You won’t be able to substitute anyone else’s name.
And there you are. Drop your entries in the comment thread.