If you’re a married, Republican U.S. Representative, Craigslist’s personal ads are not for you.

Write that down, please.

And underline it.

(Mind you, Craigslist’s personal ads are probably not a good idea for any U.S. Representative. But especially married, Republican ones.)

Seriously, though. I looked at that story, and what I felt for the dude was not schadenfreude but pity. Literally, the first thought that popped into my head was, oh, you poor, dumb, horny bastard. You didn’t even know what you were getting into, did you.

My second thought was that he looked pretty good for a shirtless U.S. Representative. I’m trying to imagine, say, Henry Waxman shirtless in a cell phone mirror pic and my brain is all, dude, we are so not going there. Fair enough, brain. Fair enough.

And then I was back to you poor, dumb bastard. It’s a damn fool way to leave public service, it is.

Oh, and here’s some irony for you. Key quote here: “Private information and images can so easily be transmitted to friends and strangers alike.” Indeed, sir. Indeed.

I’ve mentioned to people before that I tend to write very small when I hand letter things. How small? Well, while going through some old writings, I unearthed this letter, which I wrote on standard 8 1/2 by 11-inch paper when I was 19 or 20:

I have the letter because it was one of those letters, i.e., the ones that are better as cathartic exercises than something actually read by someone else, and also, let’s face it, if someone wrote you a letter that densely packed with no-margin scribblings, your “holy crap, this dude’s nuts” sirens would be going off full blast even if the content was just about how much the person liked puppies and sunflowers (note also that it continues on the other side). It was just as well I never sent it, is what I’m saying, and I’m glad I recognized it at the time. Don’t worry, I’m much better now.

But for all that, maudlin content and flagrant inattention to margins aside, the lettering size was standard for me at the time, and even today I don’t write all that much larger; I’ve just always written really really really small.  I had to train myself a bit to write larger when I started writing handwritten notes in people’s books; it’s not nice to make fans squint. I didn’t have to make my signature larger, though. It’s always been big and swoopy. What it means that I have a huge signature yet really tiny lettering is left to the observer to hypothesize. I’m sure it means nothing good. There’s a reason I mostly type things these days.

Over at FilmCritic.com this week, I act as a peacemaker between friends and settle a question about the Star Wars series, namely: Do any of the characters actually get more interesting as the series goes along? The answer probably won’t surprise you (it depends on the character), but you may be surprised which characters I think get better as the movies move forward — and which get worse (and in some cases, much worse). Check it out and as always feel free to leave comments over there.