Behold the Spectrum of Male Pattern Baldness

Comments

1. bobrothschild says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:19 am

   Is the order coincidence or planned?
2. Don McArthur says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:25 am

   Far more distressing for us 50+ white males is the untreatable “male pattern ass loss,” that renders blue jeans essentially unwearable in the golden years. Where is the Federal funding that this disorder so richly deserves?
3. blainesgirl says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:45 am

   Chip n Dale Material , Coming At You! If I could wolf whistle via internet here I would.
4. Sally Lou Liz says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:50 am

   Fangirl *squeal*!!!!
5. Chang of Space Command says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:51 am

   That is quite an array of “From Hairy to Nary.”
6. Kevin Williams says:
   April 30, 2011 at 9:57 am

   I see Scalzi’s sense of humor in how the picture was posed. Well done.
7. Lila says:
   April 30, 2011 at 10:26 am

   Don @ #2, the bicycle is the answer to your problem. Start now.

   Don’t believe me? Take a look at the rear view of the next bunch of serious bicyclists you see.
8. Lila says:
   April 30, 2011 at 10:29 am

   Also, John: perhaps it’s time to develop a trustworthiness scale for hair loss?
9. Natalie L. says:
   April 30, 2011 at 10:49 am

   The lobby of the Troy Marriott looks a lot different since the last time I was there. Which was in 1992–my senior prom was held there. I feel old now.
10. AlanM says:
    April 30, 2011 at 10:53 am

    The Royal Wedding was a fairly awesome display of British Male Pattern Baldness and my wife was happy to point out that I continued the proud tradition of Brits with lousy hair (I would be between our host and Hines in that picture. Give me a couple of years).

    She also claimed that I looked like William, which I think was supposed to be a compliment.
11. Jennifer R. Ewing says:
    April 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

    #2: I wish I had your “problem”! The Maternal Unit loves to cackle and point out that she “has no ass”, while mine is “huge”. The latter may, alas, be correct, but the former statement certainly is not–I had to get that “huge” ass from somewhere!

    :-)
12. Dave H says:
    April 30, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Did Ghlaghghee take that photo? Because I’d love to see the n-dimensional contortions Chang = !Chang would go through if she did.
13. KD Sarge says:
    April 30, 2011 at 11:53 am

    *gasp* It’s like a rainbow!
14. Mark Terry says:
    April 30, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    And I saw this only minutes after a family discussion of blood types and I said mine was AB-positive and my youngest son (AKA The Smartass) said, “What does the B stand for, Bald?”
15. Kvon says:
    April 30, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    I’m not convinced about Dave without seeing past photos, he seems to have lots on the top and not much on the sides. Which is actually female-pattern baldness.
16. Tim Eisele says:
    April 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I also noticed the transition from broad grins at the hairy end, to progressively more restrained at the smooth end. Howard Taylor looks positively haunted.
17. Jaws says:
    April 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Bald men don’t waste our hormones growing hair.
18. skipjim says:
    April 30, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    I’m not sure if being bald would be preferable to the fact that at age 37 my hair is starting to move beyond gray and heading firmly towards white.
19. WomYN2me says:
    April 30, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Heavens to murgatroid, man, you have lost so much weight. eat a donut, for gods sakes.
20. JJS says:
    April 30, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    Age 66, still have most of my hair (and most of it is brown, not gray) and enough rear padding to fit pants well.

    Just saying’ braggin’ a little.
21. Jeff Zugale says:
    April 30, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    I need to ‘shop myself in right between Klecha and you, John, ‘cuz that’s right where I am on the spectrum!
22. Sam Saunders says:
    April 30, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Well, I’m 52, great hair and lots of it, my ass is vanishing faster than the ice caps , and I am a Brit. So 1 out of 3. Could be worse.
23. WandaV says:
    April 30, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    I don’t want to read anyone’s complaints on graying hair! Mine started turning when I was 12! Thanks, Mom.
24. Steve Buchheit says:
    April 30, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    The new bar looks excellent.
25. skipjim says:
    April 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Not gray. White. If I grew a beard I’d look like a young freaking Santa!

    Gray I could live with.
26. Cliff says:
    April 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    John took his new toy to Penguicon. Please post the “photo-bombed by Chewbacca”. It was was pretty cool.
27. Jeff says:
    April 30, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Oh my, I and my pasty legs are in the background! My moment of fame has finally arrived…not quite as I’d imagined, though.
28. Laura says:
    April 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    Going, going, going and gone.
29. Greg says:
    May 1, 2011 at 2:12 am

    That photo is awesome!
30. Dirty Wizard Hunter says:
    May 1, 2011 at 3:42 am

    Howard Tayler, Dan Wells, and Brandon Sanderson have one of the best writing websites in the world, writingexcuses. Go Sanderson . . . .!!!
31. Cliff says:
    May 1, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Writing Excuses is taping several episodes of it’s podcast (a very very cool podcast) today at Penguicon from Noon to 2:00. I wish I could be there today but work needs me, and I need the money.
32. Bruce A. says:
    May 1, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Dreaming of Rogaine
33. Andrew says:
    May 1, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Yet everyone has hair on their head somewhere in that picture.
34. Shawn says:
    May 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    I was at Penguicon this weekend as well and had a blast. I’m pretty sure I saw you there, but you were with a large group of people up at the bar and eating dinner and didn’t want to bother you. Although if I had known you were coming I would have brought books to be signed. I am not to proud to bribe you either. I gave Brandon some Magic the Gathering booster packs that he enjoyed. =)
35. rick says:
    May 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Isn’t this the point where we’re supposed to say “You look just like Howard Tayler, only sexier”? I seem to remember reading that somewhere….
36. Nigel says:
    May 1, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    You know, maybe if you stood in for Neil Gaiman rather than Charlie Stross, you’d have a better chance of growing hair.

    Or is that the Fallacy of The Follicle?
37. Angie says:
    May 1, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Natalie @#9 – they just remodeled it this year – started around January, finished up recently. I like the new layout much better.
38. Endersgrrl says:
    May 2, 2011 at 11:34 am

    This made my day. :)
39. David Klecha says:
    May 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Kvon @#15 As it happens, I posted some about my hair on my blog today. Long story short, I think my position in the spectrum is essentially misleading–I’m no more going bald than Saladin Ahmed is. But I do have less hair than Saladin and Al, whether by choice or otherwise.

    I will also note that the right (and balder) side of the picture is significantly more successful, in terms of books published and whatnot, than the left (more hirsute) side. However, with a Campbell nominee holding down the far left side, and he with a fantasy trilogy coming soon from DAW, the hairier side should start to tip the balance back soon.
40. Alisha says:
    May 2, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    The guy on the left looks like he’s thinking

    “Hair – so easy, a caveman can do it.”

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