Via the estimable Greg van Eekhout (see his recent Big Idea piece here), a picture of how the Mysterious Galaxy bookstore in San Diego is promoting my upcoming author event there:
Note: I will not be signing any bacon you might bring. It’s hard for the meat to take ink very well. Don’t ask me how I know this. Just accept it as truth.
Ah ha! A void! There are millions of dollars awaiting someone who invents ink that writes on bacon.
Shouldn’t people bring their own cats, too?
Surely, if a person brought you *packaged* bacon, you could write on the package with permanent marker? I would keep such a treasure in my freezer forever, for the express purpose of pulling it out to show all my friends–”Look! John Scalzi signed this! Isn’t that cool?” Then I could secretly enjoy the crestfallen looks on their faces when they realize they don’t have anything nearly as interesting in *their* freezer!
Now all you need is Bacon Beer and you’re set.
A culinary torch would probably write on bacon both legibly and tasty. I suspect trying to put this advice into practice at the signing would be a great way to cross “get permanently banned from a bookstore” off one’s bucket list.
The image is appropriately fuzzy.
Marc Moskowitz:
Indeed, there are many reasons not to bring an open flame into a bookstore.
If it’s a side of bacon rather than a pack of rashers, you could sign it with a tattoo gun.
Wood-burning tool. Boom. Yerwelcome.
I’ll bet a spaceship shooting lasers could write on bacon.
I really like Mr. van Eekhout’s YA novels, and now I have a new reason to admire him.
Focusing the shot so that the title “Fuzzy Nation” was, well, fuzzy was a flash of brilliance!
Well, Nick from the O.C., the display was on a high shelf, so while it’s impossible to miss while browsing the store, I had to hold my phone at an awkward angle and … Oh, what? Yeah, I totally did that on purpose!
I’ll be there. I already own the e-book, but I’ll buy another one so I have an excuse to be there. Think I will bring my kid (5 years old) just for the heck of it.
Wait a minute, Scott, (#4) there’s already chocolate beer and banana beer(they use banana bread for the yeast) but No bacon beer out there? Some large multinational brewery should just get busy and Make some for us carnivores! And I offer to bring some to John to sign at his book signings.
Has any brewery come to their senses and offered you cash to be their bacon beer spokesman, John?
Seems like a waste of bacon to me. It’s that whole value added thing. Signed book adds value, signed bacon not so much.
@14 – It’s not strictly bacon beer, but if you can track down some Rauchbier, the smoky flavour can be somewhat reminiscent of bacon.
Mysterious Galaxy is a great store with great people. One of the things I miss about not living in San Diego anymore.
Scott: to go with the bacon chocolate bar?
http://radicalvixen.com/blog/2011/06/26/review-bacon-chocolate-bar/
(post at the link is SFW but the site it’s on isn’t)
Wow, Clarion instructors are “professors” now? I’d settle for nothing less than “Herr Doktor Professor” if I were you. Or perhaps just “His Grace.”
@4, 14, 16:
Indeed, if you can find Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier, I think you will find it reminds you a great deal of bacon. Malty, frothy bacon.
I don’t think our host would make a good spokesperson for it, though, given his decision not to drink alcohol.