“Redshirts” Auction to Benefit the Bradford, Ohio Public Library

The short version:

I have recently delivered to my publisher my latest novel Redshirts: A Novel With Three Codas and am offering a special pre-publication bound manuscript version of the novel to auction to benefit the Bradford, Ohio public library. This is an exclusive and extremely rare version of this novel (only four other copies of this edition currently exist; no more than ten will ever exist) and all other copies will be given to personal friends and family. This will be the only way for a member of the general public to read the novel prior to its official publication in June, 2012. To encourage bidding, as specific bidding levels are reached, other very rare pre-pub manuscripts and/or chapbooks will be added to the pot. All money raised by this auction will go to the Bradford, Ohio public library. Bidding details are below. READ THEM BEFORE BIDDING. Bidding is open until 11:59:59 Eastern, Monday, September 19, 2011. Opening bid is $100.

The long version:

Who am I?
I’m John Scalzi. I am a New York Times bestselling author of science fiction, nominated eight times for the Hugo Award (including three times for Best Novel, for Old Man’s War, The Last Colony and Zoe’s Tale). My novel Old Man’s War is currently optioned by Paramount Pictures; Wolfgang Petersen is attached to direct. I was Creative Consultant for the television show Stargate: Universe. I also write non-fiction (including the Hugo-winning Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded), and keep a personal blog, Whatever (which you are reading now).

What is Redshirts?
It is my latest novel (which to be clear is not a Star Trek novel), which combines classic space opera action with humor, snappy dialogue and, as the title suggests, lots of gratuitous, ensign-level death. Actor Wil Wheaton, who has read the novel, describes it as “F**KING AMAZEBALLS HILARIOUS AND AWESOME” (all caps his), and who are you to doubt him? The novel comes with three codas: Short stories relating to, but independent of, the novel itself.

What should we know about this edition of the novel?
That it is not a final version of the novel. It is a bound edition of the final manuscript — which means it hasn’t been copy edited. All the author’s idiot spelling and grammar errors are still in there (sorry), and there may be a slight variance textually from this edition and the final published edition (the plot details, however, will not change).

In exchange for putting up with these pre-production flaws, however, you will have a chance to read the book long before even the critics and booksellers do. Moreover, only five copies of this edition of the bound manuscript exist currently and no more than five additional will be made. One copy I’m keeping; the rest go to family and those to whom the book is dedicated. For collectors, this is a rare opportunity to have something literally no one else can get.

(As such I will also be asking you to refrain from sharing outside your own household until the official ARCs of the novel come out later in 2011. I suspect this will not be a problem).

Will it be signed?
Yes, I will be happy to sign it and (if requested) personalize it to you or whomever you designate.

Why donate the proceeds to the Bradford Public Library?
One, because I am a big believer in libraries and their role in our cities and towns. Two, because it and many other Ohio libraries have been hard hit in the last few years with budget cuts that have resulted in reductions of service just when their patrons have needed them most. Three, because it’s my library, and I’d like for them to know I appreciate everything they do for my town. Four, because the librarians there are lovely people and it will be fun to surprise them (I haven’t told them I’m doing this yet. So if you’re a librarian at the Bradford Public Library: Surprise!).

What’s this about extras?
To encourage you all to bid silly amounts of money, I’ll be adding new cool stuff to the pot at $1,000 (and then larger) increments. What extras? Well:
$1,000: Your choice of either Questions for a Soldier or How I Proposed to My Wife: An Alien Sex Story, two very rare short story chapbooks of mine from Subterranean Press.
$2,000: A very rare (one of six) pre-pub bound manuscript edition of Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis, my novella from the METAtropolis anthology.
$3,000: Both short story chapbooks will now be yours.
$4,000: A recording of me, playing on the ukulele, a song of your choice.
$5,000: A very rare (one of five) pre-pub bound manuscript edition of Fuzzy Nation, entitled That Super-Secret Project That I Cannot Tell You About.
$6,000: A Subterranean Press hardcover edition of Agent to the Stars, with cover artwork by Penny Arcade’s Mike Krahulik. Rare and difficult to find.
$7,000: I will bake you a schadenfreude pie.
$8,000: Your name, or the name you choose* will be inserted into my next major project.
$9,000: I will write a story, of no less than 2,000 words, in which you (or whomever you choose) will be the hero.
$10,000: I will commission a large black velvet painting of the two of us, fighting space aliens WITH LASERS.
$17,500: I will dedicate my next book to you**
$25,000: A special, one-of-a-kind “sneak preview” edition of my next novel, whenever that is (it will be reasonably soon; I have to eat, you know).
$50,000: I will travel to any place in the continental United States, present you (or whomever you choose) with the complete, signed John Scalzi collection, take you/them to dinner***and at the end of the evening read you/them a bedtime story written especially for you/them and then play you/them a lullaby on the ukelele. Travel dates to be decided between us but in probably in the next 12 months.

(* The name has to be something non-profane, please, as my next major project will be meant to sell to lots of people; also, if you choose the name of someone who is alive, get permission from them, please.)
(** It may also be co-dedicated to someone else, but no more than one other person.)
(*** Dinner site within a 100-mile radius of where you live, please. Invite whomever you’d like to come but the cost of dinner is not to exceed $1,000, because I am not made of money, I am sorry to say.)

Needless to say, each bid plateau will include everything else below it, so if you bid $50k, wow, you’ll get a lot of stuff. But you’ll have earned it, I say.

How will the auction work?
You must enter a verifiable e-mail address to bid.
1. Bid here on the site. Bidding begins at $100. Each new bid must increase the former bid by at least $5. If two bids are made at the same level, the first bid offered is the official bid. You may not increase your bid until someone else bids higher.
2. Until $1,000, bidding must be in increments of no more than $25 (this is to discourage trolls and fake bidders). From $1,000 to $5,000, bidding may be in increments of no more than $100. From $5,000 to $10,000, bidding may be in increments of $250. From $10,000 forward increments of $1,000 are acceptable.
3. However, if any point I am contacted privately by a bidder who wishes to jump the bidding to a specific prize plateau (say, she’d like me to bake her a schadenfreude pie), if I am convinced it’s a serious bid, I’ll go into the thread and raise the bidding to that level. This is the only way to jump ahead.
4. I reserve the right to disqualify any bids if I do not feel they are legitimate. If I do, I will pop into the thread, note the disqualification, ban the bidder if necessary and reset the bidding at what I believe was the last legitimate bid level. If it appears to me the bid thread is being swamped with fake bids I may halt all bidding while I figure out the way to deal with it. I reserve the right to cancel the auction entirely.
5. After the auction ends I will contact the winner via e-mail (this is why you need a verifiable address). You will need to respond to that e-mail within 24 hours or I will assume you were not a serious bidder and contact the next highest bidder. So please be looking for my e-mail!

How and when will you donate the money from the auction?
I won’t; you will. I will forward you the information you’ll need to make the donation to the Bradford Public Library directly. You will need to send the money within three business days or be disqualified. When the check has arrived and is deposited by the library into its bank account, I will mail out all the goodies (you will have to authorize the library to tell me that the check has cleared, etc). This way you’ll also get any applicable tax deductions.

How will the item(s) get to me?
I will ship it/them to you, worldwide, without charge (if you’ve won the pie and you live internationally we may have to figure something out). When I ship it I will provide you with the tracking number so you will know where it is and when it’s going to get to you.

Can I tell others about this auction?
I hope you will! Please, feel free to tell anyone you’d like.

If you have any questions, please let me know through e-mail (john@scalzi.com) — I want to keep the comment thread open for bids only.

92 thoughts on ““Redshirts” Auction to Benefit the Bradford, Ohio Public Library

  1. NO COMMENTS EXCEPT BIDS, PLEASE. Comments other than bids (except for mine) will be deleted. If you have questions, e-mail me.

    READ THE BIDDING RULES, PLEASE. I will also occasionally remind people of them as we go through the auction.

    Bidding begins at $100. who wants to start?

  2. $125

    (Mythago initially bid too much so I scaled her back to conform to the rules. PLEASE READ THE BIDDING RULES! I won’t do this for everyone; I know Mythago but not every single person who will bid.)

  3. $220

    since all those extras have a supposedly have a value attached to them, would it still be $50,000 for you to read me that lullaby and sing me a song?

  4. I have a serious offer for $1,000 in e-mail, which I have accepted, so I am now officially raising the bid to $1,000. Maximum bid increase increment is now raised to $100. Bidders will now also get their choice of one of the two chapbooks in addition to Redshirts.

    Thanks, folks!

  5. Folks, remember that maximum bid increment currently is $100. I’m going to allow this one but the next time I will scale it back. Bid currently stands at $1,200.

  6. My humblest apologies – I had misunderstood and thought we were at 1100! I’ll hit myself in the head with a calculator from now on!

  7. I’ll go ahead and allow the $125 bid, seeing that others have bid up from there before I could get to it.

    As we have passed the $2,000 mark, in addition to Redshirts and the chapbook, the winning bid will now also receive the pre-pub edition of Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis.

    A reminder that the max bid increment remains $100 at this time.

    The bid currently stands at $2,100.

  8. Since the max bid increment is $100, I can not simply empty my vast underground treasuries and simply purchase the prize. Curse you, Scalzi. But I will yet have my cake (er, pie), and eat it too.
    $2300.

  9. Delicate? I have not yet begun to comb the Vast Underground Treasuries(TM) for the several rolls of nickels stored against this day. $2800.

  10. See how you skipped bid the same in there? Just helping you out Greg, I know you’re tired and its your bed time. The next one starts with $44 ;) jk

  11. Perhaps something can be arranged.

    To recap, we’re now above $4,000 in the bids, which means the winner from this point, in addition to the Redshirts manuscript, will also receive both chapbooks, the Utere pre-pub manuscript and the song of their choice done on ukulele. Well done, everyone.

    Remember also that if there’s a certain prize level you want to skip directly to, you may contact me via e-mail and once I ascertain you are a legitimate in your bid I will reset the bidding at that level. It’s all in the original entry.

    The bidding now stands at $4,700. Thanks, folks!

  12. Morning update:

    I have two credible offers to take the bidding to the $5,000 level, so I will take the first of them and jump us ahead. This means that the winner, whomever he or she is, will take home the rare pre-pub edition of Fuzzy Nation along with everything else described so far (really, a very nice haul of rare goodies).

    It also means that the maximum bid increment is now increased to $250. The minimum bid increment remains $5 (no change, please, whole dollar units only).

    The bidding now resumes at $5,000. Thank you!

  13. I’ll go ahead and round up Brad Robert’s bid to the $6k level, as he’s indicating that’s where he wants to be. That will put us up to another prize level. Bidders henceforth will receive rare hardcover signed edition of Agent to the Stars along with everything else offered to this point.

    This is the last day of the auction, remember that bidding ends at 11:59:59 this evening.

    The bid is now $6,000.

  14. Hi Mr. Scalzi – I tried to “twitter” a few hours ago and then read that only bids will be posted. We, at Bradford Public Library, are so very honored to be the recipient of funds raised from your “Red Shirt’s Auction!” When I first heard, I was in the middle of a kidney stone attack and then had a few tests run, but I was still smiling! In the summer, after receiving your last book, I had written a thank you and request for a possible workshop at BPL. Our offer is, of course, open for whenever you have available. We are very pleased that you have chosen our community in which to live! It is a bright and rural spot, perfect for raising a family! Athena is certainly a “gem” – always bright-eyed when I see her! I wish I had more of an opportunity to work with her over the past several years. You are always welcome at our school and Bradford Public Library! Thank you, thank you, and the BPL staff is all “a-twitter!” Cherie Roeth, Library-Media Specialist and BPL Director

  15. With less than an hour to go, I have a received a creditable request to take the bid to $7,000, which I have approved. Henceforth any winning bid will, in addition to all the previous goodies, receive delicious Schadenfreude Pie.

    Also, to avoid last minute bid sniping, I am going institute a new rule: If a new bid is made within the last five minutes of the official auction closing time, there will be a five minute grace period during which a new opposing bid may be submitted. Once that bid is submitted, there will be another five minute grace period. If no new bids are submitted within that grace period, the auction will close and the final bid will stand. E-mail me if you have questions.

    The bid is now $7,000.

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