A question from the assembled masses:

Are you voting in tomorrow’s Ohio primary?

No. I’m not a Republican (I’m registered as unaffiliated), and I’m not inclined to “make mischief” and vote for someone just to sabotage the GOP’s chances at the White House. The GOP has been doing a fine job of that itself; it doesn’t need my help.

If I had to vote in tomorrow’s Ohio primary, however — say, the forces of evil threatened to strangle my cat if I did not — then I would likely vote for Romney, for the simple reason that the zany kicky fun of the idea of Santorum being the GOP nominee has drained away, and I’m left with the existential horror of that feculent bigot of a man actually seriously being considered a viable candidate to lead our country. The Onion did a piece today titled “Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth,” and as with all of the best Onion pieces, the hell of it is that it is absolutely true. And while there’s a part of me that enjoys chaos, there’s the other, larger part of me that wants to make sure that dude is nowhere near an actual presidential ballot because you never know.

The good news is that it does finally seem like the GOP is waking up to the fact Santorum is a hot mess of a candidate; the bad news is that it’s still possible he could win Ohio or other significant states tomorrow, and then, well, it’s oh shit time in the Romney camp, not to mention for all the rest of us.

And you may say, I could go tomorrow and vote for Romney. But just as it’s not my place to “make mischief” for the GOP, neither is it my job to inject sanity into their primary, either. If you’re an Ohio Republican, that’s your gig. I mean, I’m not exactly thrilled with Romney, or Gingrich, or Paul, but any of them would be preferable to Santorum. Please keep that in mind when you vote tomorrow.

(Actually, just for the hell of it, you should all vote for Paul. Man, wouldn’t that mess with everybody’s head if Paul took Ohio! Yes, yes. I’m liking this scenario the more I think about it.)

I’m now elbows-deep into the current project, the one I am giving the public (but entirely unrepresentative) title of The Spank Chronicles, Part One: The Spankening. I’ve been working on it for a bit now, but we’re in the serious, “okay, this thing actually is going become something” phase now. This means that I am also now officially on the “I’m Working” Internet schedule. How this manifests for the rest of you is that every week day between now and when I am done, I pull the DSL out of wall until a) I hit my daily quota of words (which is 2,000 words), or b) it becomes noon. This keeps me focused and means that at the end of it all you’ll have something new to read.

(And you ask, well, why are you posting this at, like, 9am, then? The answer: Today I’ve shifted my schedule a bit because I have a reporter coming to the house at 10am for an interview. That’s why. SO THERE.)

So, basically: for the next few months, if it’s the AM, don’t expect to see too much of me online (or to get e-mail responses, or Twitter/G+/Facebook comments, or blah blah blah). If you do see something here in the morning, I either scheduled it the night before, or I got to my quota really fast that day.

The good news is that I think you’ll enjoy The Spank Chronicles when you see them. Krissy read some of it last night. She was happy. And you know how she is about quality control.

They’ve finally announced it, so I can finally announce it: This July I am a special guest at Comic-Con in San Diego. I’ll be there doing panels and other exciting excitingness, I’m sure, including some things I can’t tell you about yet but which you will be all, “Oh, dude, I am so there” when you find out about them. This will also be my first time at Comic-Con. Rumor has it that it’s not small in terms of attendance. Well, we shall see, my friends. We shall see.

In any event: July. Scalzi. San Diego. Now you know.

Look! An interview with me in Italian! I should note that I did not actually read or answer questions in Italian because like most lazy Americans, I am tragically monolingual. The rest of the world does not appear to hold that against me. And if it does: Hey, sorry, guys. I know, I suck.