Dear Lansing: I Am Full of Anniversary Cake and Am Logy and Have Nothing Clever to Say at the Moment

I’m sorry. I wish I was more clever as I write this, but there seems to be an inverse relationship between my¬†creativity and how much frosting I have consumed. And I have consumed an appalling amount of frosting today. Because my daughter made an anniversary cake for me and Krissy. And what could I do? I had to have some. And she does slather on the frosting. Mmmm…. frosting. Sweet, sweet forbidden sugary creme goodness.

But I promise if you come to see me tomorrow, June 18, at 7pm at Schuler’s Books, I will be so much more clever. Truly. And not just because I will be having a completely frosting-free day tomorrow. That will merely be a contributing factor.

Also, please do not bring any frosting to the event. That would just be wrong. Tasty, but wrong.

Sooooooooo tasty.

NO I AM NOT ADDICTED TO FROSTING I CAN STOP AT ANYTIME STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

Uh. So, yeah. See you tomorrow, Lansing.

28 thoughts on “Dear Lansing: I Am Full of Anniversary Cake and Am Logy and Have Nothing Clever to Say at the Moment

  1. @htom:

    Having cake under the frosting would be just be the frosting on the cake, wouldn’t it?

  2. Hmm.

    A frosting-free day implies that either (a) there is no leftover cake, or (b) that you plan to resist the siren call of whatever leftover cake there may be. Mind you, if three people managed to polish off an entire anniversary cake, I can see why one of them would demonstrably be having a sugar high. OTOH, if there is, in fact, leftover cake (which seems likely), I trust that your iron will (Iron Wil?) is up to the task of resisting the siren call of said cake and its associated frosting.

    [pause, beat]

    Dear me, perhaps I shouldn’t have said that….

  3. You do realize that your statement “Also, please do not bring any frosting to the event” will generally be interpreted by your fans as: “ALSO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO BRING LOTS OF FROSTING TO THE EVENT!!!”, don’t you? ;-)

  4. Schuler’s has a lovely cafe, with very nice pastries. Some of which might have frosting. Beware.

  5. Roughly half the signings I’ve done at Schuler Books have involved cake and frosting. They are wonderful bookstores with great people, and I have no doubt Whitney et al. will take very good care of you. Even if you’re a frosting-free mental zombie.

    I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight. Next time, please contact me beforehand so that I can help you schedule your Lansing event for a night that’s more convenient for me and my family.

    And have fun!

  6. Have fun at Schuler’s! I loved studying there when I went to MSU. Great book selection and great people!

    And kudos to the both of you on 17 years!

  7. How do you feel about donuts? I was seriously considering bringing some of what I consider at least a regional best that I usually stop at when headed in that general direction. But then got to thinking that melt in your mouth caramel covered with powdered sugar and cinnamon may not be a good fit with umpteen thousands of books

  8. Well, crappit! There’s goes my plan to have you sign my book in frosting.

    Although I might still ask you to sign my audiobook (aka back of the iPad)…

  9. @Bearpaw. Humor, sweet humor.
    Can we come up with a LOL equivalent for groaners? LOL is as ubiquitous as chocolate glazed donuts and I prefer white chocolate coconut.

  10. @Linda Edgar, you can go to both! That’s what I plan to do. Leave the Vagina Monologues early and get to Schulers right around start-time. I’ll be wearing my #vagina shirt to Schulers.

  11. Cake is properly understood as a frosting-delivery vector. The proper frosting-to-cake ratio is the largest that is socially acceptable in the venue you happen to reside in at the time of consumption.
    Also, happy anniversary.

  12. In non-frosting related dining news, my I suggest getting the original “Jersey Giant” sub (with banana peppers) at the “Jersey Giant” location nearest thee bookstore. I’m not sure where that is, since I know they’ve been relocating since I graduated MSU nearly 20 years ago.

    If you like meat and cheese, it is about as good as it gets.

  13. Wish I could attend this! I had a great time giving a talk at Schuler’s; it’s a great book store, and Whitney made sure there was an excellent turnout.

  14. There is another possibility, which had not occurred to John C. Bunnell, which is that there is cake left, but it no longer has frosting left on it, because the locals have chosen to maximize their sugary goodness intake rate, and recognized that the purpose of the cake was to support the frosting in an appropriately decorative shape.

    Also, if you hear cheers of “Cheese! And Cake!” in the background, run!

    And congratulations to John and Krissy, and wishes for many more years together.

  15. Had a great time last night at Schuler’s. I really loved the reading of **redacted**. It was really **redacted** and I can’t **redacted** to **redacted**. I was really surprised to see you are now branching out into **redacted**, but I’m sure E. L. James will not mind the competition.

  16. Thank you for being so much fun last night in Lansing — you were very charming & engaging. It was definitely worth the drive over from Grand Rapids to meet you. We spent the entire dinner afterwards (and most of the drive home) discussing science fiction, humor, and the works of one J. Scalzi.
    Also: **REDACTED**

  17. There are cakes that do not have frosting. Some of them are glazed or iced, but some are nude, wearing only their crust. So … carrot cake with cream cheese frosting?

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