22 thoughts on “It Is Time To Remind People That I Don’t Read Unpublished Works (Even Yours)

  1. Who doesn’t realise how much of a douche they look like when they do this? Srsly. Except me. It’s cute and funny when I do it. My mom thinks so. :P~~~

  2. But John, I already sent it to you. Along with the case of Coke Zero. That was the agreed upon price wasn’t it?
    I am so very kidding. Thought I’d say so, since it’s not out of the realm of possibility that some dipshit would do that.
    But I am not that dipshit.

  3. Please, you know you read it out loud at parties and give everyone a good chuckle!

    “Hey John, read some of that user submitted fiction! Remember the last one about killer gold fish from Orion’s belt. Bet you can’t top that.”

  4. I can understand. You’re so famous that if you didn’t have the policy you’d be swamped.

  5. I had this problem before I had any measure of fame, actually. If you’re known as a writer, you get asked this a lot. It’s happened with almost all my friends who write.

  6. So it’s still a “no” to reading my 12,000 page opus that I began working on after grade 5?

  7. I had my cat read it.
    It seems rather surprising that so many writers and so many writers have cats when it is so clearly the case that cats are against literacy. At least cats are against human literacy. It is less clear whether cats are against literacy in cats, though I have heard the theory that cats read with their butts.

  8. OK, I think I have a valid question about this topic:

    How do you find and select an agent to help get you published?

    –Jim R

  9. James Rosse
    I know a little bit about this, since I’ve been preparing to give it a go myself for years now. I just need to write a complete something that doesn’t suck ass.
    Anyway, there are a couple of websites that will let you subscribe to their resources, but i don’t really care for that option. You should go to your library or bookstore and find the current Writer’s Market book. It is a fantastic resource, full of info about publishers and agents. In there you will find agent’s names and agencies. Info on how to contact them and what type of clients they represent. You don’t want to send a SciFi book to an agent that specializes in Romance for example.
    John has mentioned the site Writer’s Beware before as well. They can help you avoid getting screwed over by any shady folks you might run across.
    Remember you don’t pay anyone anything upfront, and simultaneous submissions are not ever appreciated.

  10. Yeep. I hope you didn’t get that impression from my email! I really did just want to thank you for writing Redshirts, and why. :(

  11. And then there is the always useful legal shield of not wanting to be accused of stealing some one’s ideas.
    James R, Miss Snark has in archive mode a wonderful ruthless blog on submission and querying.

  12. I’ll tell you how I fixed this. When people asked me to fix their $Consumer_Electronics_Item, I simply quote them a charge in “Engineer Bucks”. This is my own private currency, issued by me as an IOU against my future victim’s time.

    Usually they give up by the time I’m done explaining the economic theory behind the scheme, and I go put my soldering iron and security Torx drivers back away.

    Regards,

    Hans

  13. How about work yet to be written that exists in my mind. I am beaming that to you right…now. It’s good, innit?

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