When a Redshirt Has a Mission On Halloween, Doom is Just Taken as Read

Athena, no doubt about to be consumed by a Borgovian Land Worm.

Athena: I’m a redshirt for Halloween. Are you proud of me?

Me: Yes, for as long as you last. Now come on, I have to take you to school.

Athena (Sighs, as if a wistful parent): They all go off to Starfleet Academy so fast.

My kid is awesome. There, I said it.

40 thoughts on “When a Redshirt Has a Mission On Halloween, Doom is Just Taken as Read

  1. Your kid is definitely awesome. I have a kid of similar age who is also awesome. Maybe someday there could be a meeting of hemispheres and they could have a moment of mutual recognition of teh awesome.

  2. That is definitely one of the best costume choices ever. And I agree, she is awesome. I have twin boys her age and they are awesome, too. Except when they are being jerks, but I think that goes with the territory.

  3. She is indeed teh awesome.

    Do you ever give readings of your stuff at Athena’s school? If so, her classmates will be fully clued in to how self-referential it is to have a Scalzi be a Redshirt.

  4. This was my second choice for a costume this year. I ended up going with the other option because a red bowtie and a tweed jacket were easier to find at the thrift store than a starfleet uniform. Plus it allowed me to explain to my wife that I couldn’t possibly attend the charity costume party without first purchasing a sonic screwdriver.

  5. Awesome. My daughter has been webslinging around the house all week dressed in her Spiderman costume that she picked out. We’ve been watching the old school Spiderman cartoons on Netflix. Mostly, she looks like a Spiderman luchadore. I’m waaay ODd on ADORABLE.

  6. Scalzi: your kid is superbly awesome.

    Other Bill: Is she strong? / Listen, Bud: / She’s got radioactive blood!

  7. “Yes, for as long as you last.”

    You seem to be assuming you’re part of the main bridge crew, rather than the beloved parental figure who has to die tragically in the first act…

  8. I’d consider Redshirts to be age appropriate. But then again I’m pretty much fine with my kid reading whatever he wants. He grabbed some Tanya Huff off the shelf the other day, for example, totally cool with that. Of course, he’s 15 months old and can’t read yet…

  9. Heh! Very cool!

    Wife, who is giving notice today (departmental change away from help desk!) wore her red shirt (engineering patch) today.

    Daughter is bummed. Her middle school, because they did a Halloween day / dance last Friday, are not allowed to wear costumes today. So she just wore her steampunk heart shirt, tall boots, aviator’s jacket and hat. No goggles, wings, or painted nerf gun (y’all know the one) so for now, looks like Amy Adams’ Ameila Earhart.

  10. Next year Athena’s going to be like “Dad, I want to go as Aayla Secura, the Twi’lek Jedi, this year because Lucas is soooooooo cool now”

    At which point John will die a little inside. ;)

  11. Waaay cool! Just dropped the Emperor of Evil off at school. His cousin is going as Agatha Heterodyne. Guess which one reads more.

  12. BTW John, that wasn’t a hit on Athena; that was a snarky tease about your past criticism of Lucas and his Expanded Universe novels.

    Just sayin’ I wouldn’t criticize your family, just you. :)

  13. When she starts blogging, this place is going to look like a ghost town in maximum one month. You’ll walk in and there’ll be nothing but tumbleweed and maybe an aged scorpius sitting whittling something outside the old saloon. “Been some time since a commenter came through here, young feller. Mostly they ride straight on past to Athena’s Place.”

  14. Athena is obviously a Red Shirt from the last half of the novel. She is too smart to be eaten by a mere monster. And aren’t you glad she is still too young to run for President?

  15. Can my kid hitch a ride to Starfleet Academy with your kid? Both of them are awesome and my kid could tutor your daughter on Calculus & Trig. I Know that Starfleet has to reserve a spot for your daughter.

  16. I have this vision of Athena emerging from the SIDE of the land worm with her trusty emergency knife in hand and stalking off sneering “Puny land worm,” while heading for the showers.

  17. Since I started watching “Castle”, I have been charmed by the relationship between Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) and his daughter Alexis (Molly Quinn), due in equal part to the great writers, and the remarkable actors. It suddenly dawns on me that you and Athena are the real-life incarnation of this delightful relationship. It makes me happy that truth can be as good as fiction. (As a father to four daughters, the youngest of whom is Athena’s age, I know the pride one feels when they reflect the best in you. Congrats. :-)

  18. I’m jealous, John. Seriously. My son is not even 13 yet and he’s already into the “Dad, you ignorant bastard” stage. I yearn for my 3 year old. Will it get better?

  19. Kindly tell Athena she is full of awesome, although I think she pretty much already knows that, being your kid and all.

    Scorpius, be very cautious about dissing the womenfolk of the Scalzi clan. Whereas John will just crank up full power snark, I have two words regarding Krissy and Athena: Smoking. Boots.

  20. gleonguerrero “Will it get better?”
    My 3 are all over 25 now & I have a standard response when people complain about their kids.
    “How old are they?”
    >does not matter what age they reply with<
    "Oh, don't worry it will get worse!"
    0_O

  21. Athena is awesome indeed. For a minute that looked like Krissy rather than your daughter. Must be the raised-hands about-to-scream pose, or my lack of caffeine.

    @TheMadLibrarian: Imagine what K&A would do to the unfortunate wight in stocking feet who tried to sneak up on either of them. Spontaneous pair production of smoking boots?

  22. One of my coworkers came in as a Star Trek redshirt today. I pointed out that this was a bad idea, but she kept ignoring it and pointing her tricorder at people.

  23. @Frankly: That’s good to know. I do remember my teen-aged years and cringe at some of the things I did to my poor parents. Maybe my son’s starting early. Maybe that means he’ll get over it sooner too?

  24. @gleonguerrero: uh, yeah, don’t hold your breath on that one…. (says the parent of 2 boys, now in thier early 20’s) and yes, it does get better – if only because they move out so you don’t have to hear about it every day!

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