Kaiju: Mangina!

Over on Twitter, I noted that one of the favorite things the dudebros like to call me is “mangina,” a delightful portmanteau of “man” and “vagina,” because in the world of men terrified by women, the worst thing you can do to a guy is imply he’s a vagina. Or something. I don’t know, it just seems stupid to me, but, well: dudebros.

This prompted Seanan McGuire to comment:

To which I responded: “Now I need to see the fan art.”

And, hey! Look!

Make no mistake, people. This is officially THE BEST THING EVER.

The artist: K.B. Spangler. Give love, because this is awesome.

And also, now every time one of those dudebros punts a “mangina” in my direction, I’m just gonna see this in my head. And it is going to make me giggle like a maniac.

Thanks, K.B.!

Update: This just in from Howard Tayler:

Brilliant!

132 thoughts on “Kaiju: Mangina!

  1. I am picturing wearing this shirt and having to explain it to people. That alone would make wearing this shirt worth it.

  2. ::points in horror, mouth moves for several seconds without any sound coming out!::

    MANGINA! AIYEEE – !!!!

    ::stops, scratches head – now thoroughly confused by the…feelings I’m having for Mangina….::

  3. OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

    Or better yet, sic it on teh dudebros. You our glorious, my Lord Host, may Your name be praisèd. Scalzi ftagn!

  4. Look at how many insults in U.S. culture are at their base “I treat you the way I’d treat a woman”.

    @howardbrazee: Gendered/”feminizing” insults are peculiar to “U.S. culture”? Down here in Middle Earth, calling anyone a c**t isn’t considered complimentary. Still, I don’t see why — the vagina is aesthetically pleasing yet (multi-)functional, and the means of much harmless amusement and pleasure in this sad world of woe and sin. What’s wrong with that?

    PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH MANGINA KAIJU OHIO WGAH’NAGL FHTAGN!

  5. What does the writing say? Looks phonetic but my Japanese pretty much stops at kinds of food, “neko” and “kawaii”.

    You have great friends and followers.

  6. I got ‘mangina’ but had to look up ‘kaiju’. Literally ‘strange creature’, used as ‘monster.’ So that puts you up there with Godzilla?

    Japanese culture has fallen a long way since the samurai days…

  7. Hey folks, seen a few links to this page on Facebook, you must be doing something right :-)
    But … just a note … around here the term “man-gina” is just a slang reference to male genitalia. Women have vaginas and men have manginas … obviously I can’t speak for the random idiot dudebros of the internet, but to me it sounds like the guy wasn’t calling you a rampaging man-vagina hybrid, but with the use of the word “freak” meaning enthusiast … he’s simply making a euphemism for gay. So he’s saying you’re a feminist gay man. (oooh no!)
    Either way it’s not terribly civilised, but I thought I should just point out a possible misunderstanding.

  8. Cherry Cola, I’ve never run into the usage you’ve described, either. Each time I’ve heard it, it’s basically calling a man a “pussy” or a “wannabe woman”.

  9. Lurkertype: per the artist, it is an attempt at a phonetic transcription.
    “phonetically, MA-NA-GE-A”

    Also she would very much appreciate if the link led back here instead of the image.

  10. I need this on a tee-shirt for cons. Seriously. Must have. Perhaps the artist would consent if the proceeds were split between her favorite charity and one of yours?

  11. howardbrazee: _A_ or _Some_ US cultures. Big country, lots of cultures.
    As others have said: “The artist: K.B. Spangler. ….”
    As for the t shirt. It would have to be a pocket t. Doesn’t grab me hard enough for me to do without a shirt pocket.

  12. I like what John Scalzi writes and in particular, I like the characters. They are interesting, often complex, and I think the author strikes a really good balance between having characters that are compelling in their own right and yet still are integral to the story. For a writer to do this, and give voice to these characters, requires a good understanding of what people are all about, male and female.

    I think what the dudebros fail to realize is that without this keen appreciation for male and female characters, any story will fall flat. The characters would be rigid blocks, trundled out into set pieces that would ultimately be boring and one dimensional. In other words, for them to trundle out the label “mangina” tells me at least that they probably do not understand a basic principle of good writing: good characters.

    I think the other aspect of the “dudebros” that implies a profound lack of understanding of what makes people tick is that gender is not binary. There are very few people who are either entirely masculine or entirely feminine. We all tend to exist along a continuum in which we have, to varying degrees, a blend of male and female characteristics. And those writers who do not acknowledge this and incorporate it in what they write are limiting themselves from fully expressing their ideas. Maybe they need to read more widely and to really question their beliefs.

  13. Stupid WordPress changes “target=”_blank”>” to “rel=”nofollow”> .”
    Uh, that is, WordPress changes a link that will open in a new window/tab into one that overwrites what I’m reading.
    I know to middle click, of course, but I didn’t know WordPress was doing that.
    -
    “I don’t know, it just seems stupid to me, but, well: dudebros.” I choose to misinterpret that as “dudebros is a stupid word, too.”

  14. Thank you, Scalzi, for making me giggle like a maniac… after walking out of my yearly cooter rooter gyno exam this morning. Fortunately all’s well, else Mangina-kun would demand a blood sacrifice in reparations… ;)

  15. It strikes me somehow that insulting dudebros by calling them things like dickless or pair-less is playing the game on their terms. I mean, the whole point of “mangina” rests on the basic dudebro tenet that emasculation is among the three worst things you can do to a person (the others being feminisation and gay stuff). In the dudebro vernacular: Take away the dick: bad. Add a vagina: BAAAAD. We need a different vernacular.

    No, no. I hereby propose that what makes dudebros so deplorable is not their dicklessness (for that’s simply the level they fight on). What we need is some word that expresses their emotionally crippling dickpendence without risking some sort of feminiphobic or homophobic doublespeak (I toyed with dickpendent, which seems a lovely descriptor to me, except that it can clearly be used as homophobic doublespeak). I will turn this over in my head as the day goes on.

  16. My first thought was that this reminds me vaguely of the alien in The Android’s Dream that eats people whole. I may never be able to read that book the same way again. Of course, given the tone of the book already, this might fit right in.

  17. Reblogged this on MamaGamer and commented:
    Because today started out with difficult children and transitioned smoothly to difficult work issues… I’m going to reblog Scalzi.

    Where is my mind today? I’ll let you know when I find and neutralize it.

  18. As an additional funny bit – ‘Mangina’ used to be used in MMOs as a pejorative for men who played female characters. Oddly, it bothered none of them, so its use quickly dwindled.

  19. All this talk of vagina dentata reminds me of the Firvulag from Julian May’s Saga of the (Pliocene) Exiles.

    The Firvulag were a phenotype of an alien race which could interbreed with humans. Their females had some kind of vagina dentata, which are part of a sub-plot in the later novels in the series.

  20. It had to be done…

    Mangina Dentata! What a wonderful phrase

    Mangina Dentata! Ain’t no passing craze

    It means no worries for the rest of your days

    It’s our problem-free philosophy

    Mangina Dentata!

    Mangina Dentata?

    Yeah. It’s our motto!

    What’s a motto?

    Nothing. What’s a-motto with you?

    Those two words will solve all your problems

    Mangina Dentata! What a wonderful phrase
    Mangina Dentata! Ain’t no passing craze

    It means no worries for the rest of your days

    It’s our problem-free philosophy
    Mangina Dentata!
    Mangina Dentata! Mangina Dentata!
    Mangina Dentata! Mangina Dentata!
    Mangina Dentata! Mangina Dentata!
    Mangina Dentata! Mangina–

    It means no worries for the rest of your days

    It’s our problem-free philosophy
    Mangina Dentata!
    (Repeats)

    I say “Mangina”

    I say “Dentata”

  21. Did anyone else look at “mangina” and see “man”-“angina”?

    They are naming you after the pain in their boy-bits that comes with poor circulation. Nothing Freudian there :)

  22. Don’t sweat it, Scalzi. We’re laughing, too.

    For entirely different reasons.

    Unsurprisingly, you mistake our motivations. There’s a difference between “scared” and “pissed off”.

    But by all means, wear that Mangina title proudly. Heck, make a t-shirt. Just look how well that worked out for the Teabaggers.

  23. Ah, the trollbois have come out from under the woodwork. Hello, twig man. Didn’t Mr. Scalzi permaban you a while back?

    Also, I am SO hot for your picture. Of course, no women I know of could possibly take you seriously, but I (along with many other men) am just DYING for a chance at your tight butt…

  24. @Floored:- Seriously. No.

    If Ironwood was female and you’d said “…Just dying for a chance at your…” do you think that would have been an okay thing to say? The answer’s “No.” I don’t see why you think it’s okay just because the objectified subject is male.

  25. It’s because he’s a sexist dirtbag who objectifies women and thinks that it’s his right to have supermodels fawning over him because he has a penis. Maybe I am a little off-color, but I’m targeting his sense of privilege there, and his homophobia.

    And no, I would never talk to a woman that way, because I respect women in general. I do not respect sexist creeps like Mr. Ironwood.

  26. Ian Ironwood:

    “There’s a difference between ‘scared’ and ‘pissed off’.”

    Well, and then there’s being pissed off because you’re scared scared SCAREDY SCARED, Ian. Which is what you and your pals are.

    Poor widdle Ian Ironwood. Those women are so mean.

    Now run along, back to the rest of your terrified little crew. There’s a lad.

    Floored:

    Please take Bob’s point. I know you have a strong interest in engaging the trolls (and make no mistake, Ian Ironwood is all troll), but in your urge to respond you do step over lines. What I want you to do each time you feel the desire to do so is step back for a bit. Say 15 minutes or so. Either the piece will still be there, in which case you can respond to it in the manner consistent to the policy here, or it will be deleted.

  27. @ Our Lord Host, may His name be praisèd:

    Yes, sir. My apologies, sir. Temper has always been a major flaw for me.

  28. [Scared little boy desperately trying to sound big and tough deleted. Future scared little boys desperately trying to sound big and tough please note that if you attempt to yank out your dick here to wave it around, I'm going to mallet it back into your abdominal wall. Ian's already burned through your one shot at this thread - JS]

  29. @mintwitch: Oh, bloody brilliant. I’m going to be singing Mangina Dentata under my breath all day, and I need to leave the house. You are evil, and I will be most displeased if you ever change. :)

  30. Slightly tangential, but given that last pic, I think it’s important to point out that the Linux distribution known as “Fedora” predates the whole hipster/fedora association, and should in no way be associated with clueless, insecure dudebros. There are some good guys and gals associated with that project, even though I personally prefer Debian (which was named for the couple, Deb and Ian, that started the project). :)

  31. … Ever since seeing Pacific Rim, I’ve started to refer to really bad periods as “Kaiju attacks.” *As opposed to Shark Week.* … This is only encouraging me.

  32. @cranapia: you think you’ve got it bad — I read this just before bed last night and had “Mangina Dentata” as an earworm as I went to sleep. I didn’t sleep well, wonder why.

    Fedoras used to be so cool. The Linux distro, Indiana Jones… dudebros ruin EVERYTHING. Douchebros.

    @Floored: I thought that troll had been permabanned too. Can’t even come up with new ways to phrase his pathetic shit.

  33. [Deleted because this scared little boy slipped a sockpuppet over his head. Surprise, scared little boy! I see you just fine through the sock! - JS]

  34. Our Lord Host, may His name be praisèd, you are indeed a glorious man. I shall cease taunting the trolls, because you are so much better at it than I am.

  35. I would prefer that on a cool snapback hat! ….. as an aside it would be high-larious to have a hall of shame for stupid posts.

  36. This is what I wrote when another guy that I admire on the internet was being called a mangina.

    “But, to me “mangina” is such a silly word that it makes me want to giggle. It sounds like “You have doilies on your socks” and “your father smells of elderberries.” It sounds so fictional. Maybe like “manticore” or “Manimal” or “garanimals”. “

  37. Of course, I’m still trying to figure out what it is about taping bacon to cats that turns you into a mangina, whatever that might be!

  38. An opportunity to inform….

    I know no-one’s being serious here, but here’s a bit of education about Intersex and Trans people. Yes, there are some guys who have vaginas. There are some women who don’t.

    There’s even porn stars with them – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_Angel

    One case I know – gay boy who due to 45X/46XY Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis had a partly female puberty. Decides transition to full female is for him. After a while (17 years), finds out that despite a figure I’d personally die for, he’s not a girl, he’s a gay guy. Transitions back to male – though still with vagina (it’s a one-way trip essentially). Later still, discovers that having a “mangina” has real advantages, lives happily ever after.

    Would you believe I’m simplifying here? More of Josef Kirchner’s journey at http://www.transchristians.org/people/josef-kirchner

    How do I know this stuff? I had a partly female puberty too (3BHSD form of CAH). I took to it like a duck to water though, full transition and have difficulty now imagining how I could have lived before it. I did research to make sure that it was something I really wanted though, just because your body feminises, it doesn’t mean you have to. In my case, I was already there, the boy act was just that – an act.

  39. Zoebrain-
    I really appreciate your perspective. It seriously annoys me how difficult our culture makes it, for people to share something as simple but important as their gender identity and how it relates to their physiology. preference/orientation, etc. This should be easy, not painful and risky.

    I would never want to push anyone past their comfort level, but I am glad when someone does share. Maybe if we’re lucky it will make it a little easier for those who need to understand, as well as for the next person to share. It should never be an obligation, But when it does happen, I’m grateful.

  40. @Floored: Don’t let the avatars fool you. Just picture Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and you’ll have the bead on these wastes of oxygen.

    @Ianpineneedle: Is that why you’re perennially obsessed with your little internet slapfights? And I thought you were an angry little boy, but now you’re just amused? Can KindlingDick say cognitive dissonance…well, can you?

  41. *resists urge to yell at transparently insecure and obviously closeted-gay troll*

    @ Zoebrain: That is an…interesting story. I won’t pretend that I don’t find it unusual, but I must say that I am happy that your friend lived “happily ever after”. It’s good that people can be themselves without small-minded people throwing up legal obstacles.

  42. @ Gulliver: Sorry, I’ve never heard of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Should I think of them as the moronic reporters from book 10 of Scholck Mercenary?

  43. @ Gulliver: My computer can’t access YouTube (I put blocks on because I kept getting lost online, then I tried to remove them and permanently removed my computer’s ability to access Twitbook, YouTube, and Reddit, among others.

    Given that it’s NSFW, though, I think I’m glad that that is the case.

  44. @Ian wet-noodle: What you seem unable to get, like many of your ilk, is that credibility isn’t really a think that exists independent of the individual or group assessing it. So while Scalzi’s choices might cause him to “lose credibility” with you and like-minded individuals, they also cause him to gain credibility with others that he actually cares about having credibility with.

  45. I’m glad you’ve retained a sense of humour about the misogynistic attacks, John. That’s an awesome graphic by Ms Spangler.

    But just to remind the guys commenting that it’s just bloody tiring dealing with this if you’re female, please read this awesome piece by Foz Meadows:

    http://fozmeadows.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/i-am-so-very-tired/

    Scalzi and other male allies like David Futrelle are just collateral damage in the endless, dreary war against bigoted stupidheads. Don’t ever forget, the real aim of this lot is to keep women *in their place*. And that place is no place to live, create, and love.

  46. “Ian Ironwood”?? Porn name. –I’m guessing “Flaccid McFlopsalot” would be more accurate.

    Are those EGGS under the mangina’s arms?

  47. I simply love your stances regarding women. The fact some “men” are frightened of empowered women, of intelligent women, of women of any type baffles me. We see entire cults of fools so frightened by women they wish to and often do inflict physical harm upon women solely because, in my opinion, these men are the utmost of cowards.

    My mom once stated in frustration she can’t believe how screwed up the world is. How in so many places women can’t vote, for example, or are second class citizens. And yet, she stated, the men denying these rights are doing so to their own mothers. Who birthed them. So they were good enough to give birth to these mental giants but not good enough to have basic civil rights? They are good enough to raise them but not enough to have a say in the society in which they are raised. And some people wonder why some parts of the world are utterly fucked-up.

    Good on you both in laughing off the idiots and in taking the correct and decent stances wherein the dignity of the individual is paramount.

  48. i am going to make a confession… that mangina thing made me laugh. I understand what this says about my lack of maturity, but damn that was funny. Its good John has a sense of humor about it. John’s response is more clever, but the term ‘mangina’ is just funny. can’t help myself.

    there is a roguelike game I like called ‘elona’ (its free you can google the download site if interested). In the game you can ‘breed’ different pets together to combine them to get stronger pets. So I picture breeding a john pet to a feminist pet and getting a mangina. getting the urge to write a mod to do that.

    btw, elona is a pretty hard game. so play at your own risk. you might get frustrated.

  49. If there are (inevitably, b/c this is the internet) mangina kaiju t-shirts, will it follow there are also plush/stuffed versions? With velcro-detachable eggs to fling at Fedora Bot?

    @Ann: I know, Foz is great and she says things gooder than me.

    I love (not) how the dudebros are always concern trolling that John’s going to suffer some horrible consequences from his wacky idea of treating all human beings equally. Horrible consequences like NYT bestsellers, shelf-loads of Hugos, huge tracts of land, plenty of cash, and a fabulous wife and kid. We should all be so unlucky.

  50. @ Lurkertype: Maybe I’ll be even unluckier than Our Lord Host, may His name be praisèd, and I’ll win the Powerball. Twice. In a row.

  51. “*resists urge to yell at transparently insecure and obviously closeted-gay troll*”

    Please resist commenting on people’s supposed sexuality instead (or as well), Floored. This is still saying “gay is bad and bad people are gay”.

    It’s possible to make this kind of observation without causing offence. But you’re not managing it, so it might be a good idea to retire that tactic completely.

  52. @ Ann Somerville: Damn it, I can’t word anything properly this week! :/

    I was trying to compare Mr. TinWood to Tom Cruise, who is a homophobe but clearly closeted. I loathe people who publicly hate what they are–it’s highly hypocritical and annoying behavior.

    Next time, I’ll just call the troll an asshole and leave it at that.

    Finally, I do not think that gay people are bad in any way. In fact, I believe that gay people make better parents than heterosexual people (and if I was bored I would be able to find the studies that support that opinion). Nobody should be discriminated against because of how they were born, or what they enjoy, or whose company they prefer.

  53. @Floored: It’s not so much the wording as the unavoidable implication that goes with a assumption that if someone is a homophobe then they must be what they hate. Yes, some are, but it’s wrong to assume it’s so because it relegates the problem to one of, as you saying, self-loathing, when in fact the problem is not restricted to any condition of birth. I know you didn’t mean to suggest it is and that you merely didn’t think through the full implication, which is why I didn’t say anything. But Ann’s comment makes me realize I should have because I know you’re the sort of person who takes constructive criticism well. Indeed, the fact that you sometimes listen better than I is perhaps one reason I underestimated you.

  54. I loathe people who publicly hate what they are–it’s highly hypocritical and annoying behavior.

    You don’t have the right to criticise someone who is in the closet when society creates so many obstacles and punishments for coming *out* of the closet. Whether someone is or is not open about their sexuality is *not your business*.

    Self-hatred as a result of societal oppression, whether because you’re a woman or a gay person, is to be pitied, not used as a weapon. Yes, it creates toxicity, but it’s not your place to criticise gay men and women over it. Leave that to their community to do it, okay?

  55. @ Ann Somerville: I think that it’s time for me to take a break and do some philosophizing (and to stop posting comments before I have really thought them through).

    I realize after reading your comment that comparing a famous person who is in the closet to an ordinary person who is in the closet is a bad comparison. Looking at my previous comment, I now feel kind of stupid. I’ll be back later after fixing my internal moral judge (or perhaps getting rid of the damn thing entirely, because this overgeneralization is getting crazy).

  56. Also, maybe leave calling an asshole an asshole to Mr. Scalzi, if he chooses to do so. It is his wish that we word our comments to/about other posters respectfully and focus on the substance of the person’s words, not the character of the person who wrote them. This is Mr. Scalzi’s home, and he prefers that his guests behave civilly toward one another. Those of us who are generally in agreement with his views are not exempt from that rule. If he believes someone is being an asshole, he isn’t shy about saying so. He doesn’t need us to do it for him.

  57. Oops, crossposted. Sounds like a good plan, Floored. Looking forward to reading your comments when you return.

  58. I must confess, when i saw the word mangina, my brain was parsing it as a derivative of manga. I was even trying to pronounce it in a similar fashion, until I actually read the post. If you came up with shirts for sale, I’d probably buy one

  59. Kevin Hicks 4:36 pm who said “just like Scalzi to take an insult and twist it into something awesome.” Personally, I credit Seanan McGuire with giving K.B. Spangler an Idea. A collaborative thing w/ K.B. Spangler doing all the work. Is other credit due elsewhere, but IANA person who cares about that.
    -
    Ann, floored, Gulliver. Unless I am /in person/ being an idiotic bastard (and especially then) it’s best to not _anything_ about someone’s sexual whatevers because it is pretty much impossible to say anything (including “I don’t care”) without their being resulting unpleasantness. This from a guy who is experienced enough to, to, uhm, OKay? A while back some people here said that some guy’s website was disgusting and/or horrible? I thought “Bet not, IMO.” And had a look. It was much worse than disgusting: It was boring.
    Experienced enough to give a chuckle without caring that I’m looking at someone having a very bad experience. NSFW or home: http://oglaf.com/afterglower/ which is not the thing I was looking for, but is OK enough for what I hope I’m saying, I think.
    -
    BW: Yup, when in danger or in doubt do not scream, do not shout, let Scalzi sort it out.
    BW: Pet peeve. Not “cross posted” darn it to heck, but “posts crossed!” Which is a ‘my culture’ thinks yours is annoying thing.

  60. @zhor2395, I had the same reaction: mangina? manga? Wha…..?

    Just wandering in late as usual to say I am really glad I found whatever. Fun and refreshing. Love the Mallet. Love the actual discussions that happen. Wish I had something more useful to say, I’m just burbling.

  61. another T-shirt and a request for the comic “Mangina vs Footerthund” and “Mangina against the Warmouse”

  62. Crazed Mangina Artist(tm) here. I’m glad the kaiju has been well-received. Thank you for the shirt//print requests. I have emailed John and offered to do a cleaned-up version suitable for shirts if he does another charity event to benefit women’s organizations. (Not quite sure which organizations would be happy to be represented by a rampaging Mangina, but money spends no matter where it comes from.)

  63. @ KB Spangler: Thank you for this glorious contribution to Our Lord host, may His name be praisèd’s site. Qapla’, warrior! You shall know glory in Sto-vo-kor!

  64. Dudebros may deny it, but scared is as scared does, and Dudebros of this type are simply scared. Scared of women, scared of other men, scared of themselves. If they were just “pissed-off” and righteously angry, they would do something positive about it, or at the very least add something constructive to a thread like this. But no, they have fear inside and need to deflect it by lashing out at complete strangers. So be it. I wish them good luck on their journey to emotional maturity, because they have chosen the most difficult path to get there and it may take a lifetime.

    (At first, I accidentally typed “and Dudebros of this type are simply sacred”. Interesting typo, but I’m afraid I’m not spiritually evolved enough right now to commit to it…)

  65. Jesus fuck, that’s terrifying. And yet somehow cute, it looks so happy and excited…

    Also: “And also, now every time one of those dudebros punts a “mangina” in my direction, I’m just gonna see this in my head.”
    Never mind “in your head”. Tweet this image back at them and give them nightmares. It is, as I said, scary enough as it is – imagine the effect it’ll have on a misogynistic dudebro…

  66. I think they call you that because you are a man and you give them chest pain or discomfort in their heart muscles by cutting off oxygen-rich blood – probably through the power of cross-dressing.

This is the place where you leave the things you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s