THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

Context: Chris Kluwe wrote on Twitter about how the GOP are currently destroying themselves, like the Whigs did back in the day. This is what followed.

64 Comments on “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

  1. So that’s what happened to the Highlander in the 21st century: he lawyered up.

    And now THERE’S MORE THAN ONE and they’re even eating cookies together….

  2. I’m not sure which is cooler; the sheer geekery or the fact that it was Chris freakin’ Kluwe and you.

  3. if you weren’t happily married, and i not happily living in sin, i’d court you for the snark and funnies ALONE.

    alas, you are and i am so i have to take said S&F second hand.
    oh well, at least i still get them *G*

  4. It’s like Mornington Crescent for nerds. (A sentence with more obvious errors than words, I think.)

  5. as an aside — i tried to post a link on Facebook. i don’t know, i generally HATE facebook, but this was hilarious and Facebook is easier/faster than emailing everyone i’d think would enjoy this.

    Facebook STILL thinks your site is “bad” somehow. just… WTF?

  6. The idea that “The GOP is destroying itself like the Whigs” is just a wishful-thinking fantasy from a party facing it’s own extinction problems with voters due to it’s rampant corruption, cronyism and absolute authoritarian leanings (“I have a pen and a phone”). In truth 72% of all Obama voters now truly regret their vote, the GOP has higher approval ratings than the Dems and the President is down in Nixon territory in approval.

    The Dems got all they wanted and burned out the voting public.

  7. Scorpius, don’t let something as trivial as politics get in the way of the important things here, namely, swords and LASER EAGLES.

    (i.e., just because a comment about politics started the discussion, doesn’t mean it’s a discussion about politics.)

    Or to put it another way: lighten up, Francis.

  8. “YOU HAVE FAILED TO ADEQUATELY DEFINE YOUR LASER EAGLES AS “LIGHTSABER EAGLES,” AND THUS BY THE RULES, YOUR CLAIM IS FORFEIT.— ”

    This may qualify as the nerdiest tweet I’ve ever read. Not in a bad way, mind you. Just nerdy.

  9. lighten up, Francis.

    Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.

  10. I wanted to dive into it with scorpius but Seriousness has taken some off time and is not available.

    John, you and your humor are dragging me off my ‘Hate Twitter’ stance. My lawyer will be calling on you, Sir!

  11. 72% of the people who used to call me Francis truly regret it now.

  12. That was just…awesome. Which is a word I usually dislike using, but there is no other word that is appropriate in this context, I think.

  13. Glad to know that Scorpius is on the job, when it comes to filling the token “lives in backwards bizarro-world” slot that every conversation must have.

  14. I’ve got to include “YOU KNOW that was superceded by the Juneau Conference! YOU KNOW IT!” into my next IRL argument somehow.

  15. So, what happens if my house is built on a cursed Native American burial site? Does it protect me from Sword Drones, but leave me open to poltergeist assassins? I feel this question was not properly addressed!

  16. I haven’t a clue about what you two were talking about, but I sputtered coffee on my iPad anyway because it was so very, very funny.

    I suppose I should look up Highlander, but I’m worried that nothing could possibly live up to the trailer…

  17. @Bruce “I’m still disappointed that the Vikings let him go.”

    At the time, I was too. I figured Kluwe was waived for political, not athletic, reasons. He had just had a good season and Oakland picked him up shortly after he became a free agent. But then…..Oakland cut him before the next season began, and Chris is still out of football. In a money-driven industry like pro football, if Chris Kluwe still had the talent to punt in the NFL, he’d have a job by now. The timing makes it all suspect, but maybe, just maybe, he was at the end of the line in his NFL career when the ‘Queens cut him loose.

  18. I suppose I should look up Highlander

    When you do, it is very important you remember “There Can Be Only One”.

  19. Does the fact that eagles and lightsabers were involved qualifies that twitt-suite as an Highlander-LOTR-StarWars threeway ?

  20. Not to derail the LASER EAGLE discussion, but I’m a member of the Wiig party.

    Wiig – Hader 2016

  21. I’ll just add my thanks for the most fun I’ve had in days. Laugh out loud funny can’t happen often enough!!

  22. You had me laughing my head off until you misspelled ‘supersede’. Now I must send my own drones to punish you.

    But lasers cannot so easily defeat my drones, for lo! they are actual drones, the insect kind, from a colony of bees I keep for the purpose.

    What manner of bees, you ask? Honestly, think for a moment. Do I have to spell out everything?

  23. The more I read from Chris, the more amazed I am that he lasted so long in the NFL. This little drama broke my Nerd-o-meter, by the way. Nice work.

  24. Great, now I am going to waste all weekend re-watching Highlander episodes. Thanks for the giggles.

  25. Hilarious as this is, I must point out: they make decaf Coke Zero now; you might want to look into it, Scalzi…

  26. @Stevie – If by “trailer” you meant the Twitter exchange and you don’t want to see the whole film, then budget 5 minutes to watch the Queen video that came out with it back in the day. Condenses the movie nicely, with an added shot of Freddie Mercury Juice (™).

  27. Allium

    You are right on both counts; that is utterly superb! Unfortunately I don’t think it’s going to save me any time long term, because I shall be watching that video…

  28. Next up: Flash Kluwe* with another Queen soundtrack.

    (Yes, it could be Flash Scalzi, but in the 1980 remake at least, Flash played football for the Jets.)

  29. @Xopher

    But lasers cannot so easily defeat my drones, for lo! they are actual drones, the insect kind, from a colony of bees I keep for the purpose.

    What manner of bees, you ask? Honestly, think for a moment. Do I have to spell out everything?

    Why drones? How many drone spelling bees does it take to punish an immortal? If you have a significant swarm of drones, then how many bees do you have? Now we know what happened to the bees; they are all in your volcanic fortress where they will be used to create an army of proof readers.

  30. Favorite thing I read this morning. Bravo sir, and after you eat your cookies, good hunting. :)

  31. Wait, if an Immortal is decapitated by a remote-operated drone, what happens to all the Immortal Energy that is released? Will it accrue to the remote operator, or merely flow to the nearest Immortal it can find?

  32. @Xopher

    Hmm. My Shorter Oxford is of the opinion that either spelling is valid. Supercede is noted, though, as being an earlier usage.

  33. Well, Bob, given the derivation of the word, that seems unlikely. But I think you entirely missed the point.

  34. Xopher- It comes from the Latin supersedere, but does so by way of the middle French superceder, so I would suggest the c spelling is probably the earliest in English.

  35. The C spelling is, however, wrong. Older does not mean more correct, or Chaucer would still be readable in the original (well, nearly) by high-school students.

    I do realize that I and the other righteous are going to lose this battle (and the C spelling will be correct in 2100, but please God not yet.) As I told someone who offered me his sword this morning, we’re like King Canute: we’re fighting the C.

    I’m going to shout at the next person who posts something that indicates that they don’t realize I was doing it for the pun opportunity (le pun chance, in French). I don’t actually feel the need to correct John’s spelling, that being why Tor has copyeditors.

  36. If Charlie Stross joins this conversation, will he be THE LOWLANDER?

  37. @Xopher

    I really don’t think Tor is responsible for editing the copy on his blog.

  38. If Charlie Stross joins this conversation, will he be THE LOWLANDER?

    If Stross joins the conversation then he will be followed by eldritch horrors the likes of which would cause your brain to destroy itself out of sheer terror rather than live with the fact that such vile entities could exist in this, or any other dimension.

    Plus: bureaucrats

    It’s probably best he stays out of it. That’s all I’m saying.

  39. Just so, Bob. And no one needs to, because it doesn’t need to be done.

    His spelling in books is important.

  40. Beautiful.

    Just squeezing this in.

  41. Thank you, good sirs, for a lengthy and badly needed chortle.

  42. Maybe the author is going to rewrite the part about that link leading to the right post but just hasnt gotten around to it yet.