Seriously, These Cookies Are Awesome

I made some awesome cookies, and by “made” I mean “combined ingredients that other people have already made to make them even better in combination.” And you can too! Here’s what you do.

Get with Trader Joe’s Ultimate Vanilla Wafers, Biscoff cookie spread, and Dandies vegan marshmallows. I suspect the recipe will work just fine with any brand vanilla wafer, cookie spread or marshmallow, but in my opinion these are the ones that taste the best (and yes, vegan marshmallows taste really good, or at least Dandies do), so these are the ones I suggest.

Get out three or four pairs of wafers.

Put a healthy (but not ridiculous) amount of cookie spread on each wafer.

Put a marshmallow on half of the wafers.

Complete the assembly.

CONSUME THE DELICIOUSNESS.

Seriously, these are waaaaaaaay tastier than you would think, and you would think they’d be pretty damn tasty. It’s the synergistic effect of wafers and cookie spread and marshmallow.

Now, I hear some of you saying “But, John, what you’ve got there is basically a modified s’more of sorts, so shouldn’t you cook the marshmallow first? I’ve anticipated this question, and while I did not create a campfire to toast the marshmallow, I did take one of the completed cookies and slap it into the microwave to gooey up the middle.

Verdict: It is also delicious this way, but you’re only going to want to nuke that cookie for about five or six seconds because the marshmallow expands to dimensions both comic and messy. Also, any longer than that and the wafer starts to lose its crispness. I personally prefer the unnuked version, but I wouldn’t stop you from eating it this way if such was your joy.

Enjoy your cookies. They are fabulous.

54 thoughts on “Seriously, These Cookies Are Awesome

  1. My marshmallows better have meat by-products! (Honestly, I kind of wonder how chewy they are without gelatin.)

  2. Looks yummy, but Operation Not Be (as) Fat is still ongoing. Maybe if I lose another 20 pounds or so…

  3. There goes Scalzi, interneting wrong again.

    Original:
    “I personally prefer the unnuked version, but I wouldn’t stop you from eating it this way if such was your joy.”

    Corrected:
    “I personally prefer the unnuked version, and if you disagree you are WRONGWRONGWRONGLALALALALIMNOTLISTENINGWRONG.”

  4. “Dear, do you know marshmallow would up all over the inside of the microwave?”

    “Uh…I think I saw Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis in the kitchen earlier.”

  5. Oww! it’s a good idea! Here, in Italy, there aren’t this ingredients… but i can try to do this cookies with a different thing! They look so good :P

  6. You people are completely missing the point here. Which is that we could be spending the rest of the day coming up with a name for these things. Perhaps, Scalzi Compound Wafers.

  7. Got any fresh raspberries or blackberries? I’d put them on top of the marshmallows, then add the top cookie. Tasty, and gives the illusion of healthy (hey! Fruit is healthy!)

  8. Biscoff Spread/Cookie Butter is delicious. I bet this cookie creation would also taste good with ginger snaps.

  9. Oooh – I now want to make those. Personally, I’ll used my indoor campfire (aka gas stove) to put a little s’mores-like toastiness on the edges of the marshmallow. That solves exploding in the nuker problems.

    Thanks for the weekend inspiration :)

  10. Re: huge marshmallows and potentially soggy wafers

    Microwaves are good at lots of stuff, but indoor s’mores is not one of them. For that, you need a toaster oven, which as far as I’ve been able to discern is an appliance basically created just for making indoor s’mores. Put the bottom wafer and marshmallow in the toaster oven on “broil” until the marshmallow reaches your preferred level of amazing. Then stick the other wafer on top. No marshmallow explosions, and your wafer stays crisp.

    Or at least that’s how it works with actual s’mores. Scalzi does tend to break the Interwebs, so it’s possible his recipe would have a similar effect on a toaster oven.

  11. These are heavenly, may fave cookie is a mallomar…unless I make chocolate chip from scratch. Thank you for this mouth watering post, there goes the diet. Happy weekend :-)

  12. Reads.
    Pauses.
    Throws up from sugar overload …
    – which is what those cookies would do to me, but each to their own :)

  13. If you happen to have a kitchen blowtorch, this is a perfect opportunity to put it to use. I use mine to make smores at home, and give my nieces and nephews a choice of lightly browned or burnt to a crisp — they all opt for burnt to a crisp.

  14. Why, why, why did you stop halfway to awesomeness?

    Chocolate. A handful of chocolate chips and all would be heavenly.

    And you can totally toast a marshmallow over an electric burner. Skewer it on something a little bit long (unless you like your hand toasted, too) and keep turning it until it’s your preferred shade of toastie.

  15. Dandies are also excellent when toasted over the open flame of a gas stove burner. I could easily eat an entire bag like that in one sitting. Not that I have, mind you… Ahem.

    Joseph Finn, Dandies are quite chewy. I think it’s the tapioca starch (http://chicagoveganfoods.com/products/dandies-vegan-marshmallows/dandies-traditional/). I haven’t had marshmallows with gelatin in 20 years, but these are definitely what I remember loving when I was younger.

    Okay, I need to get me some Dandies today. And marshmallow fluff. And chocolate chips. And graham crackers.

  16. I have never heard of cookie spread. How is it made? Is it pureed cookies? Or is it a special blend destined to be spread on cookies and then eaten? I AM SO CONFUSED.

  17. I just had to Google cookie spread, because I’ve never heard of it before.

    I’d probably just use a chocolate-hazelnut spread, because I have some already.

  18. These sound like s’mores* (note spelling people! we are not barbarians YET) I could actually eat (I don’t like graham crackers, marshmallows (haven’t tried vegan ones), or Hershey’s chocolate). I’ll try the vegan marshmallows first…if they really duplicate the texture of the ground-hooves kind, I probably won’t like them, but I’m hoping they have less resemblance to a tennis ball.

    *The apostrophe is used correctly here, to indicate a contraction of some more as in “I want some more,” said after eating them by people who like the icky things.

  19. I had to google cookie spread myself. And turns out, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Spread made from cookies. Huh.

  20. Anna Karenina:

    “Chocolate. A handful of chocolate chips and all would be heavenly.”

    I have this heretical opinion that chocolate, while wonderful, does not need to be in everything.

  21. All of this reminds me of being 18, a freshman in college, toasting marshmallows over a candle in the dorm. Looong time ago.

  22. This is the second time this week I have seen a reference to “cookie spread”. I have to do some research because I’m clearly missing out on something.

  23. I used to work with a guy whose brother was an artist. He would go long periods where he would paint for insane hours. Then when he was done he would play video games for months. Told me that artists/creative people are like that. I take it John is in a lull period?

  24. I think I would want to try these with the Best Gingersnaps Ever. Especially if the snaps were fresh out of the oven. (I’m not kidding, or exaggerating, when I say these are the best gingersnaps ever.)

    Recently came across Cookie Butter Swirl Ice Cream at the local grocery. Oh, so this is what crack cocaine is like?

  25. Heck, you’re already at Trader Joe’s for the Vanilla wafers. Pop over to the canned goods aisle and get some of their TJ’s Chocolate Almond spread. It’s slightly thicker than Nutella, so it stays put better, and it’s just as chocolately and heavenly. Look for it by the honeys and nut butters.

  26. Mr. Scalzi, I just want to thank you for making my day with Dandies marshmallows. You see I discovered recently that I am allergic to corn and have lamented the loss of some of my favorite things. I can now have rice krispie treats again and for that I will always be grateful to you. Well that and you books of course which also make me happy :) I will continue to spread the word about said books to share the happy. Six new Scalzi readers and counting. Looking forward to reading the newest. With gratitude, Michele.

  27. Fun wordy trivia: The phrase to describe such a recipe is “recombinant food.” First coined by Neal Stephenson in REAMDE.

  28. The TJ’s Organic Vegan brown rice krispie treats are also DAMN tasty if you’re lazy and want pre-cooked, individually wrapped. And all those words means they’re healthy, right? I testify this as a total carnivore.

    I s’pose you could dip them in Nutella or cookie butter for more fun.

  29. Clueless Australian question: What does Cookie Spread taste like? Is it like a caramel or toffee, designed to enhance your cookie eating (A spread FOR cookies), or does it taste like some sort of cookie (say, a Ginger Snap in spreadable form)?

  30. It tastes like a spreadable cookie. On the ginger-snappish spectrum, but really more spice cookie. It’s hard to describe the taste, besides GIVE ME MORE.

  31. If you are going to Trader Joe’s, get their cookie butter. It is cheaper than Biscoff, and there is also a Cookies & Creme version.

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