The Upgrade From Hell

84 thoughts on “The Upgrade From Hell

  1. Why you didn’t pull the plug and flee when the spectre of Clippy arose, I’ll never understand.

  2. So . . . you’re saying its worth downloading? Cool beans, my backyard has been in series need of Chthonic entities for some time now.

  3. I think I will wait a bit before upgrading. If the internet doesnt explode in a week, I figure its safe…

  4. That’s a very bold move from you John. I just got my desktop re-stabilized after a hard disk issue.

    Thanks for bringing on the end of all things to save us from a Trump presidency. It’s a small price to pay…

  5. All fire & brimstone and demons aside, please let us know how it goes. I’ve signed up for the free upgrade (as I’m sure have many others) and we’d would love to read about your experience before pulling the trigger. A Doom-like splatter experience is definitely something to avoid (and you offering up your laptop for such a possible gory demise is truly appreciated).

  6. MVS and Carl, I upgraded my PC (which had been running Windows 7) and the upgrade went without a problem. Using it – I’m not having problems and the UI is very familiar to me as a Windows 7 user so I’ve got nothing to complain about (yet) but I’m not seeing big advantages yet.

    Do take that comment with a handful of salt – I’m mostly a Mac user, my PC is used for some games, checking how websites look in IE (now Edge – damn, I can no longer see how things look in various versions of IE) and PC Firefox/Chrome, and ripping DVDs and converting them with Handbrake. But every program I’ve tested runs like a charm, it does seem a little crisper and cleaner.

    Only issue was that my cats chanted in ancient Chinese instead of Aramaic. Weird.

  7. From all the research I have done the experts recommend a clean install. However, I have so many programs that I do not care to reinstall and also I am in a busy time and don’t want to spend all that time rebuilding my system. When I was into gaming far more than I am now we regularly nuked our systems and reloaded Windows yearly or so to boost performance. That said, I did a full backup so methinks I will roll the dice on an upgrade and see what happens. No notification here yet. Waiting for the download.

  8. I can read and understand just enough Aramaic that I might be able to help with that cat thing…

  9. Someone help! John Scalzi’s twitter stream has obviously been hacked by malevolent Laundry agents at the bidding of Charles Stross!

  10. I wonder if our dread lord and savior, Clippy, can heal the rib I think I cracked reading this!

    I was really managing NOT to start howling, until the cats stood on their hind feet and chanted in Aramaic. Also … the Amway was a nice touch, for any reader over 40 years old.

  11. Nothing that exciting happened to me.

    Although it is possible that after 100% and the reboot after it loads the BrainJack drivers, it simply edits away those memories… Hmm.

  12. I downloaded Windows 10 and did not have any problems. Microsoft is a company I trust, and Windows 10 is a great value I will recommend to all my friends and associates on social media.

  13. Thanks for taking one for the team! Anticipating the horrors that follow once you try to use your computer..

  14. Elizabeth McFadden: everyone knows that Amway is looking for a vessel so it can confront its ancient enemy Shaklee in the Final Conflict at the End of Times.

  15. how many twitter followers know what Chthonic entities are? *considers the source* quite a lot, I’d bet

  16. Dear bskinn,

    According to my housemate, Paula, the answer is yes! Used in some small villages and regions. Ancient Aramaic is still in use in a lot of churches in places like India and what used to be Persia.

    pax / Ctein

  17. (For the record, I *can* tell the “no soap radio” joke in Aramaic. Very popular at parties.)

  18. Is it true that Win10 doesn’t give you a picture viewer or DVD player, that you have to purchase those separately as apps, when before you had windows photo viewer, windows live photo gallery and windows media player?

  19. Oh lordie, this is a story with many volumes to come and each will claim to being the last. And Bob? Who is Microsoft Bob? The only deity I know as Bob rules EVE, the One in the wormhole.

    Other Rick: Precious! Loved the font switch as your mind was subsumed by the Aggregate.

  20. @PrivateIron: Shush! Shakelee may have devotees on this thread! All hail Amway!

  21. Great comments, all.

    I’m so glad to have led a Windows-free life for the last three-plus years. Not at home, not at work.

    For those of you in software development who kind of miss Windows, Clippy is available for the One True Editor: https://github.com/Fuco1/clippy.el.

  22. John, you will be missed. Hopefully we will get to see you again in miniaturized form as an Office Assistant, when Windows XIII is release.

  23. Dadgum, Scalzi!!! You got my hopes up for hearing my cat speak Aramaic! All he did was complain in Cantonese about shutting him out of my office again (he always does that, anyway). However, I did get blood dripping from all the faucets (ruined a load of wash, it did!), the sky turning deep umber and gray with cows flying (that may have been a passing tornado), and the mailman speaking in gen-u-wine frontier gibberish (again… a common experience; his name is Gabby Johnson). I was hoping for the Chthonic entities in my yard, but it was just the little hooligans from down the street (GET OFF MY LAWN!!! *shakes cane at little hooligans*). Soooo, just another hot summer day here in Oklahoma. Wait a minute…what’s that I hear? Its a spectral voice saying something like “I own your soul, Gates”. Sounds familiar, like a Steve Jobs product launch. Nawwww, can’t be.

  24. Only one hour on the phone to Microsoft to get the activation problem solved on the desktop. The other older formerly XP notebook’s keyboard and touchpad not recognized by the upgrade, even though they were on Win 8.1 and even on the Win 10 Beta!! Gotta love it.

  25. As a Mac user who dreads the next iteration of OS-X, I feel your pain. Can’t help wonder which of my favorite applications will no longer be supported as the ‘geniuses’ in Cupertino dumb things down for iOS ‘app’ users.

    Paul, I see John dressed as the Quaker Oats guy ;-)

  26. @RickinOKC: yep, sounds like just another day in Oklahoma. Think your cat must be related to my old one, who I swore could speak a few words of English when he was in a good mood and Cantonese when not. I can never master the tones in any version of Chinese, but that kitty had them down. (And it was Cantonese, not Mandarin. And he used them more when we had Chinese food, but only takeout, not ersatz pre-packaged. That boy had a past life in the Middle Kingdom.)

    I haven’t used Windows on the regular since XP, and I don’t miss it. Real rain would be helpful here, but a rain of blood would just mess things up further, so I probably shouldn’t risk it.

  27. I’ve been copyediting a guide to Windows 10. I won’t switch from Windows 7 until and unless I absolutely have to, but I’ve been impressed by what I’ve read about the changes from misbegotten Windows 8. Win 8 was definitely the right one to skip.

  28. Oh dear, sounds like you check-marked “agree” on terms of service. Buried in the small print on page 55, the devil is given first option rights on your soul, all derivations of your soul (such as children) and most works arising from your soul (creative works). Unfortunately, you can’t back out of this contract now. There are no lemon laws for operating systems.

  29. So, do the Nameless Horrors you’ve invoked in the course of the upgrade get user accounts on the new system? And if so, how do they register their user identities?

  30. I am not a David, but I like Fresca. But I married a David. Slowly but surely, a pattern emerges …

  31. L̜O͏̦̘͓R҉͓D̢͖͖͔̲͎̙ ̻C̢̟ĹI̹̬͈̲̗P̵͎P͍Y ̳̼̳͇̰C͠O͍̯͝M̮̰̻̜E͚̟̰͉̭S̮̻.̝̱̭̟͕

  32. Warren: naaah, they get root. And lo, the spawn of the Goat with a Thousand Young became apps. Or at least dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria. You know the drill.

  33. Excellent Microsoft Bob reference! I worked at a computer store when it came out and did my part for humanity by dissuading people from buying it.

  34. Nothing worse than Zombie Bob!!!
    I feel like an old time computer geek when that comes up. Most of my students don’t believe it existed because most of the records have been destroyed. But the old-timers REMEMBER.

  35. While reading that, I expected that at any moment Buffy would come bursting through John’s door and stop the ritual download….

  36. Fresca was really good back in the old days when it had cyclamates, but even with the newer artificial sweeteners, the grapefruit taste does a decent job of covering up their evil tastes.

  37. I would have considered upgrading if my Coke Zero turned to Tab, but now I’ll have to give it a pass.

  38. I love Fresca, and despise Coke Zero.

    My name is NOT David, nor am I related to any Davids. But my PC is a Mac.

  39. The download process itself is purely evil. I am still waiting for my laptop to notify me even of the upgrade.
    This is for purely professional reasons. As a librarian who teaches basic computer skills to the public, I need to know what the up-to-date Windows OS is like. And besides, Win8 was a disaster, what could possibly go wrong with Windows 10?!?!?! (hands in his TvTropes editorial rights once he realizes what he just said).
    It’s times like this I need to re-focus on getting more short-story writing done.

  40. I get windows 10 for free,but I am not upgrading any time soon. I dont like Windows 8 since they changed where everything is, but I just use it to get to my apps. Ill let it go for a while to let them get some bug fixes out. I only have a PC. I get a laptop from work, so I don’t see a need to buy one. So I dont have a guinea pig device.

    You guys remember when Windows 95 came out and suckers were lining up just to get a new operating system? I kept wondering what they did with it after they installed it. Click buttons for a few days?

  41. Since my current Win8 laptop is nearly 3 years old (that is, a technological antique) and has a cracked hinge on the same side as the power supply plug-in, I’ll be avoiding program upgrades in favor of replacing the machine. Sometime after Burning Man.

    On the other hand, loved Fresca. Not named David. Never dated or married to a David. But my maternal grandfather’s first name, and my cousin’ middle name? David.

    There really does seem to be a theme…

  42. For those unsure about W10, you could try doing what anyone sensible does with MS software: run it in a virtual machine (I use VirtualBox, still have a VMWare license from last century.)

    And on a more serious subject, yes, Aramaic is actually a common language in Lebanon.

  43. Can you imagine the utter chaos should businesses ever be forced to upgrade to Windows 10? It would be a 1000 times than the grief experienced by those having to upgrade from XP to 7 (yes, I speak from experience. I work for a guv’ment agency, and in my state, we actually had to waste roughly $250K for several months because not everyone had 7 installed).

  44. Since I remember how reviled Microsoft Bob was, but never actually experienced it first-hand, reading these comments made me curious enough to look it up on Wikipedia, where I discovered just how deep the horror actually goes:

    “The typeface Comic Sans was created for (but not used in) Microsoft Bob”

  45. Since I can’t stand Windows 8 (installed on my new computer by default). I am cautiously optimistic Windows 10 will be marginally better

  46. Um, where’s the post? I can see nothing. This makes me very sad, as I’ve liked that of your reading that I’ve read. It just looks empty to me, gives me the title, the date, the author, and the number of comments, and then nothing — it jumps straight to the comments. Please help?

  47. Upgrading the laptop to Windows 10 last week was pretty painless and I went ahead an tried it on the desktop yesterday. After messing with it for an hour, I decided I’d never get it working as smoothly again and reverted to the disk image I made the day before. It will likely remain W8 until it loses support when I’ll pay for an install disk to switch to 10 clean.

  48. Ah, oh well. I’m using firefox with adblock plus and session manager, I’ve seen embedded tweets in some of your posts, but I guess not when they’re the whole post.

    I’ll go back to enjoying the comments on the post from 31 July.

    (Also, just as a note, I found your blog because I’m a member of the new Lunarians working to get Lunacon back to active, and I found your links about the code of conduct and its results from arisia 2014. We’re working on getting our own code of conduct, but we have different state laws to contend with, which is an issue, but thank you for providing links to that very important situation as an admittedly egregious example of what we’re trying to keep out.)

  49. Oops, mis-referenced the post I was enjoying. It was the born that way, or not post posted on 30 July, not 31 July.

    Thank you for providing a place for people to discuss these things!

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