Notes For New (and Potential) Twitter Followers

(To everyday Whatever readers: This is a post I’m putting up for Twitter folks; I’ll be pinning a link to this on the top of my Twitter page.)

Dear New (and Potential!) Twitter Followers:

Hi there, I’m John Scalzi, and if you’re reading this, you may have just decided to follow me on Twitter, or may be thinking about doing so. If this does in fact describe you, here is what you should know before clicking the “follow” button.

1. If you have no idea who I am besides some guy on Twitter, here’s a brief bio.

2. I post on Twitter a lot. 40 to 60 times a day is not unusual, and some days I can put up more than a hundred tweets. Many of those are replies to people, so you might not see all of them. Nevertheless, I am a high volume tweeter. If you’re not prepared for me stuffing your tweetfeed full of my silliness, it’s okay to bail out. I don’t mind!

3. I’ve written a bit about how I use Twitter, and how I interact with followers, and why I happily mute and/or block people who want to start fights with me on Twitter. That piece is here. It’s worth the read. Short version: I often use Twitter as a performance space; I respond to tweets from followers but not all of them because of time and other factors; I’ll mute and/or block you if I think you’re obnoxious.

4. I am often asked for retweets, enough so that I have an official policy on retweets. Here it is. Also, if you’re an official Twitter account of a business, or someone trying to sell/promote things on Twitter, you should look at this.

5. I don’t automatically follow everyone who follows me, so if that’s your hope or expectation you will probably be disappointed. Please don’t ask me to follow you (and please don’t do it multiple times). Also, don’t ask me to follow you in order to send me a Direct Message. If I don’t follow you and there’s something you want to ask me privately, you can send me an email.

6. I very often tweet about politics and social issues. In the US, I am considered a liberal, and everywhere else in the English speaking world I suspect I am middle-of-the-road and maybe leaning ever-so-slightly to the right. If you get annoyed with these sorts of politics, my Twitter feed may also annoy you. Fair warning.

7. Because I tweet about politics and social issues, from time to time groups of people who don’t like my positions like to try to gang up on me on Twitter. So from time to time you may see me tweeting about the fact that stupid people are trying to annoy me and/or see the tweets I put out where I belittle and condescend to them. When that happens, don’t worry, it’s usually over fairly quickly (because I mute and/block them immediately thereafter).

(Incidentally, if you see me snark at someone on Twitter, DO NOT decide this means I want you to saddle up and join a Twitter mob against them. I don’t. Twitter mobs are awful and also I can fight my own battles online. Please never be an asshole on my behalf.)

8. Other common tweet subjects include: Writing and publishing, food, pets, travel, family and various things I think are funny. I retweet a lot of cool stuff my friends are doing so you can find out about it too. I will very often have conversations with these friends, on matters both snarky and serious. Feel free to follow along.

9. If you see me tweeting in ALL CAPS, it is very likely that the portion of the tweet in all caps is meant to be sarcastic and/or sardonic and/or silly. I tweet in all caps a lot. Do not be alarmed. I am not having a stroke.

10. If eventually you find me an exhausting and/or annoying part of your tweetstream, please unfollow me! I will not be in the least offended. I want my presence in your Twitterverse to be a fun and enjoyable one, and if it isn’t, then I’m okay with you taking your leave of me. There will be no hard feelings.

And now you know what you need to know! I hope you enjoy my presence on your Twitter feed, and thanks for following me.

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