So Facebook went down briefly earlier today, and naturally I had to make a joke about it.
OH MY GOD FACEBOOK IS DOWN NOW HOW WILL I HAVE AWKWARD POLITICAL ARGUMENTS WITH MY GREAT-AUNT
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
A few minutes later Sara Benincasa posted a suspiciously similar tweet:
Facebook is down! How will I know what my creepy third cousin thinks about Donald Trump?!?
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
And, then, as they say, it was on:
@SaraJBenincasa I ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE SARA DO ANOTHER ONE
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
FUCK YOU SCALZI THIS IS IT WE ARE OVER I HATE YOU FOREVER https://t.co/mHO9cVyF2e
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
IN THAT CASE I WANT BACK MY SAVED BY THE BELL VHS TAPES https://t.co/KlVTO3FkmV
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
.@SaraJBenincasa IN THAT CASE I'M KEEPING MR. FLUFFKINS pic.twitter.com/G47sZLvlmX
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
TWITTER WAR WITH @SCALZI HAS COMMENCED. PICK YOUR SIDE OR DIE TRYING.
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
YOUR DEATH IS IMMINENT I AM TALKING TO MR. FLUFFKINS NOT YOU https://t.co/BMb5pVeaXR
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
PEOPLE DO YOU SEE WHY MR. FLUFFKINS WANTS TO STAY WITH ME AND SO DOES GLITTERBUG THE PONY https://t.co/1Fx5sf02iA
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
Guys me and @scalzi have destroyed our friendship with teeth thanks to FB being down probably.
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
Guys did you know that @scalzi doesn't write any of his own tweets or books? I write all of them. Hahah I'm richer than me!
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
Yeah, but she double-spaces after EVERY PERIOD. https://t.co/iXKM7Lv7z8
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
@scalzi I'm suuuuuch a biiiiitch.
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
@SaraJBenincasa YOU'RE THE WORST. Also Facebook is back up. We can be friends again. MAYBE.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
Okay we're cool now. https://t.co/xM7pcRaVWR
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 24, 2015
We'll never fight again! Until, like, GMail goes down one day. AND THEN MR. FLUFFKINS BATTLES BY MY SIDE ONCE MORE. https://t.co/rVrxhpWHGK
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 24, 2015
Let’s hope GMail stays up. For all our sakes. But especially Mr. Fluffkins’.
(PS: Sara has a new novel coming out in November. I hear it’s pretty good. Maybe you should pre-order it or something.)
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My wife said her Facebook crashed, and if I found it later, to log her out. I said: “Could be a pre-emptive cyberattack by China, after Xi dined with Bill Gates, and before the state dinner at the White House…
Sara’s new novel? Yep, I ordered copies of “D C Trip” for my library system. AND FACEBOOK CAN’T STOP ME HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
At least Twitter wasn’t down ;-)
Hmm – Apparently this thing doesn’t like certain characters resulting in an empty post.
I now un-mask the previously masked statement in which I am cloning legions of Mr. Fluffkins for sale to the highest bidder the next time some social media artifact goes down…
Methinks the two of you have too much time on your hands. ;-)
Scalzi wrote:
Yeah, but she double-spaces after EVERY PERIOD.
Isn’t that a private matter?
Civilized people double space after all periods!
Either that, or old people. It’s one of the other. Or both. I’m old — whether I’m civilized is open to debate.
Also, I feel as though someone needs to start putting together an insertion team to mount a rescue for Mr. Fluffkins.
Periods? Bah! Commas are the true litmus test of proper writing.
Especially Oxford commas.
There’s another joke someone already made today:
Elizabeth McFadden wrote:
Civilized people double space after all periods!
Civilized people might do that, but what do male people do?
Gonna be honest and say you deserve the Pulitzer for this war coverage. Fair and ultimately balanced.
The happy ending brought tears to my eyes.
Double-spacing after a period is the Right Thing To Do. So I’m definitely on Sara’s side, Scalzi! And I’m only 3.3% Neanderthal, and not quite antique yet.
I <3 the Oxford comma!
Dude! I have the same Teddy bear from when I was young. I can even see the same spot where he used to have a bow tie attached (or am I imagining it? I might be imagining it)
And the day after this spat, Scalzi’s member of Congress, John Boehner, abruptly announces he’s retiring in a month. Coincidence, or a sign of deeper faults in the body politic…?
Thanks for making me smile.
And the beat goes on …