Whatever

Icy stalactaciousness fail, on my very own roof. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Our dog in her natural habitat:

Photo by Krissy, who took it whilst I was away.

Hey, kids, look! It’s Hugh, the Hugo-Impaled Headcrab! And he has something he wants to say to us all! Let’s lean in close (but not too close) and listen to what he has to say:

“Hello, geeks of Earth! Did you know that this is science fiction awards nomination season? Well it is! Hugo nominations are due within the next month, and for those of you humans who are also members of SFWA, Nebula nominations are due by the end of the week! There’s no time to lose! So don’t just stand there like a headcrab impaled on a Hugo! Get nominating!”

What wise and telling words, Hugh. Yes, indeed, it’s time to make those nominations, and in doing so let the world know what you think is the best science fiction of the year.

But wait: You say you know what you’re going to nominate in some categories but not in others? You say that you wouldn’t mind hearing suggestions about what to read so as to consider it for nominations? You also say that you wouldn’t mind sharing your own suggestions for Hugo and Nebula-worthy work in the past year?

Excellent. Because as it happens, I’m creating this very thread to be a repository for science fiction award nomination suggestions. Geeks of the world, fill this thread with the novels, stories, movies and other stuff you think is worth nominating for the year. There are only two rules:

1. Make sure that what you’re suggesting is actually eligible for nomination (for the Hugos, that means it was released in the 2009 calendar year; for the Nebulas, released from July 1, 2008 through December 31, 2009), and fits in the current categories for the Hugos and the Nebulas, and their associated awards (the Campbell Award for Best New Writer; the Andre Norton and Bradbury Awards);

2. Don’t suggest anything by me, because I’ve already done my own award pimpage post, and this is for everything else.

Also, if you are someone eligible for an award, don’t be shy: Feel free to recommend your own work. You’ll note I did an award pimpage post of my own, so clearly I’m not opposed to people tooting their own horn. And, you know. 40,000 folks visit here daily. Some of them nominate for awards. Tell ‘em about your stuff.

So: What do you suggest for the science fiction awards this year? Tell us all in the comments.

The last two days in LA were really nice and clear and gorgeous, but I am told that more rain is arriving today, so I escaped that… to come back to my house basically being encased in snow, with more snow falling today (and indeed, you can see that falling snow in the picture). To be sure, we’re not getting the same volume of snow the east coast is currently getting, which are historic amounts. But we’re getting our share. School was canceled today, as it was yesterday, and may yet be tomorrow, confirming February once again as “That Month the Kid Don’t Get No Edumacation.” She’s downstairs at the moment watching Phineas & Ferb. That’s educational, right? It does feature a mad scientist.

Anyway. Hi, I’m home.

Another day of travel for me, back to Ohio, where I am told it will be snowing when arrive, which means my car in the airport parking lot will be a shapeless mass under a huge pile of snow. You can imagine how excited I am by the thought.

In any event, as I’m busy hurling myself across the sky, I thought I would throw open Whatever for an Open Pimp Thread, in which you — yes! you! — recommend something for other people to be excited about. Could be a Web site, could be a new book, could be some other sort of awesome project. It could be something you’re doing, or maybe something a friend of yours is up to, or maybe it’s done my people you don’t even know, but is still so cool you’d like to share. So share!

How to do that: in the comment thread, tell us about the cool thing, and then leave a link. Easy. Note that if you do more than a couple of links in a comment, you might get the message punted into the moderation queue. I’ll be checking that queue from time to time today to release those messages, so don’t panic if it doesn’t immediately post.  But, as I’m traveling, I won’t be able to do it as often as I normally do. So I recommend one link per comment, and making more than one comment if you have more than one thing to suggest.

To start you all off, I’ll make a suggestion of my own: Illustrator Vincent Chong (who did the excellent cover to The God Engines and the Subterranean Press editions of the OMW series) has just started a new blog to show off the work he’s done on various projects. I love Vinnie’s stuff, and I think after you look at it you will as well. If you’re already a fan of his work, he’s also go an upcoming book collecting up some of his best stuff over the years, which you can pre-order. Check them both out.

Now: What do you want to share with the rest of the class?

The rain stopped Saturday just after I and my friend Natasha arrived at the Getty Museum to wander about. It was the first time there for the both of us, and I think both of us had the same reaction: What a lovely museum, and what a lovely place for a museum, too. I snapped the shot of the horizon at some point; it was nice to finally be able to see the Pacific, which I had not seen since I had been here thanks to cloud cover. And the hills were green thanks to all the rain, a thing (the green, that is), which almost never happens in my experience. In all, a cloudy but gorgeous day. It’s nice to be in LA.

Via Andrew Sullivan, I learn that Kids These Days are less likely to start blogging, and that the form is increasingly the purview of the ancients, they being defined as people over the age of 30.

This doesn’t surprise me terribly. For the vast majority of what people (not just teens, but teens also) used blogs for — quick updates on line to friends and family — Facebook and Twitter offer an easier, friendlier and therefore better solution than starting up a blog. If you’re starting out in social media, for most folks it makes sense to go there. Later, if you want the ability for customization and a format beyond 140-character tweets and status updates, you can always start a blog. But I suspect most people don’t need to get to that point, and certainly not most younger users of social media.

Also, you know. Blogs have been social media’s Last Year’s Model for a spell now; heck, they were Last Year’s Model when Friendster hit. And it’s certainly true that when I note that I’ve been blogging since 1998, certain younger folks get that look in their eye that says No! No one was even alive then! That’s when I hit them with the concept of “newsgroups.” Good times, good times.

And all available for $9.99 or less! Indeed, one as low as $5.19. Who’da thunk it.

Some folks noticed that Amazon has a fairly large delay on delivery for The God Engines, and wondered if that was somehow related to what was going on with Macmillan. No, quite the opposite: The darn thing sold so quickly that additional printings had to be made and those are now working their way towards Amazon and toward other retailers. They should be delivered presently. In the meantime remember that Subterranean Press has copies to sell, being the publisher and all.

I was alerted via Twitter and e-mail that my Tor books were back on Amazon, but as I was out of pocket at the time (I was hanging about with my friends Mykal Burns and Wil Wheaton), I only just now got back to my browser to confirm with my own eyes. My eyes say: Yup, looks like they’re back. The physical books at least; the Kindle version still seem to have gone missing. Sorry Kindle folks. I am told reliably that it’s possible to buy them elsewhere and have them ported into your Kindle, so that might be the ticket for you, although I’m sure it’s probably a pain in the ass to do so.

I’d note that the reappearance of the physical books on Amazon happened this Friday just about the say time they disappeared the previous Friday; I’d be guessing that’s not a coincidence. But in any event I’m glad the author-hurting portion of the Amazon/Macmillan negotiations appears to be largely done with. Wish it had happened sooner.

When is a zombie not quite exactly a zombie? For James Knapp, and his new novel State of Decay, it’s when you you take the idea of the undead and give it a whole new socio-political spin — a spin that incorporates free will, social castes, an unending war, and other such fun things. I could tell you more about that, but this is a Big Idea post, and you’re not here for me. You’re here for the author to explain it all for you. And here he is!

JAMES KNAPP:

I didn’t write a zombie story. In fact, although the word ‘zombie’ appears in almost every piece of marketing I’ve seen for State of Decay, it only appears once in the book itself. I can understand why it gets billed like this – my ‘revivors’ are the dead reanimated, and I purposely play with some of the classic zombie mythos – but I still wouldn’t call it a zombie story per se. I’ve seen it called urban fantasy, science fiction, horror, and a thriller (no one’s accused me of romance yet)…all this is fair, and if you like those things (as I do) then I believe you’ll like State of Decay, but to me the story has always really been about two basic ideas:

1. Is consciousness the same thing as a ’soul’, and if not then where might those two things intersect?

2. As citizens of a society, what do we owe it and in turn, what does it owe us?

…and to a somewhat lesser degree:

3. How many PSI can a human bite deliver?

If the first two questions sound high-handed, rest assured third one does get answered, and in the way that you’re probably thinking. At its heart, I would call this a thriller; weapons (and bodies) are smuggled, murders are investigated, conspiracies are unraveled and the risen dead lurk in the shadows of city streets. Still, if you were to strip away all of the shell casings, cybernetic implants and arterial blood spatter (though for the life of me I don’t know why you would ever do that), then the first two concepts are what would be left behind. Don’t get me wrong; I like talking about arterial blood spatter as much as the next person, maybe more so, but here I’d rather talk about some of the underlying concepts that, to me, drive everything else.

I liked the idea of a vast meritocracy where a citizen’s worth depended on their level of service to their society, but part of what interested me were the inevitable abuses of such a system. For my story I decided on tiers of citizenship that, on paper, would work like this: Top tier was earned through military service, bottom tier was for those who refused to serve, and a middle tier was afforded for those who were willing to sign their bodies over to serve as reanimated soldiers after death. In theory, you could start at a lower tier and, by serving the community, work your way up rather than serve.

That’s on paper – in reality (my story is reality, right?), top tier lost much of its meaning to those who weren’t rich, bottom tier became synonymous with poverty, and most people picked the middle ground. This was actually by the design of those in charge, because second tiers still have to pay their taxes while earning a decent wage, and then they eventually die off to help provide a virtually limitless supply of foot soldiers. As for working your way up, the next tier was really just a carrot on a string; you would never feasibly be able to reach it.

If reanimation was to be an easy option, that raised the question ‘who would willingly sign up for such a thing?’ Especially when there are murmurings that a donor’s body might go on to commit all kinds of horrible atrocities? I felt that if the government was careful enough to keep the revivors, the war, and the aforementioned horrible atrocities far enough out of the public eye then that answer would be ‘most people’. It’s always easier and more tempting to pay later than to pay now – that’s why the Devil’s pact-printing machine is always low on toner.

In State of Decay you might decide, just before you slide into that guard rail, that maybe second tier was a mistake after all but it’s still your signature on the dotted line. The Devil always comes to collect in the end. In your invulnerable youth you might not care what happens to your body after you’re dead, but you might end up with a long time to think about it; If a person could be brought back from death with the same memories and abilities, how would that differ from being alive? If you’re conscious, in the same body, with impulses moving once more through your same (albeit no longer warm) brain, are you the same person? Or does something else, something less definable, get lost in the translation? Would choosing second tier be avoiding service, or just delaying it?

Of course, if a person who signed up for reanimation had second thoughts they always had the option of pedaling faster toward the top tier; that carrot on a stick they’d never reach. Not in time.

I could corner you at a party and talk about this until you eventually prayed for the sweet release of death, but my word ration runs dry. I considered utilizing the last hundred words or so for a treatise on arterial blood spray, but instead I think I will leave you with this: At the beginning of this piece I said there were two main themes, but I lied a bit; there is a third theme that I can’t discuss without (I feel) giving too much away. While I know the inevitable spoilers will come, I’d like to keep it on the down low as long as possible. Just know it involves the question of free will and becomes one of the major ideas behind the second book in the series. All three of these concepts (four if you count the biting thing) are the threads that tie the trilogy together.

This is the first step in main character Nico Wachalowski’s journey; here he will begin to learn some truths that he’d never even considered before. To do that, he will have to deal with a string of murders, a disturbed psychic’s obsession, an ex-lover’s questions, and domestic terrorism.

Oh, and zombies. Sort of.

—-

State of Decay: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|IndieBound|Powell’s

Read an excerpt of the novel. Follow James Knapp on Twitter.

Here you go:

Yes, raining in southern California, which I have been led to believe is its natural state in the last few weeks. But I just escaped Ohio in front of what appears to be a soul-crushingly immense snow storm, so I don’t think I will complain (and also, I hope I can find my car at the airport when I get back). Also, my view out the window is likely to change because my honor bar fridge is leaking and there’s a puddle in my room, so I’m changing rooms later today. Which is not to say the hotel I’m at is not otherwise fine; it’s got free wifi, for one, which makes me happy.

I’m sure ambitious Los Angelenos can figure out by the shot where exactly it is I’m staying, but I warn you now it’ll do no good to stalk me here. I’ve a busy schedule and won’t be here a lot. Also, if you show up to my room unannounced, well, you know. That’s creepy, dude. Stop it.

Every couple of hours someone sends an e-mail or post saying “Your book is back up on Amazon!” and point to the same thing, so I want to post this to clear up the confusion. The one physical version of Old Man’s War that’s up on Amazon is “Bargain Price Paperback,” which is to say the remaindered trade paperback edition; as far as I know Amazon never stopped selling it.

The thing to know about this is that the remaindered books aren’t royalty-bearing books, i.e., I don’t get a cut when Amazon sells them. Amazon likely bought the books in bulk when they were first remaindered, for a substantially lower cost than “new” books, and my contract states that the cut I get for such bulk buying is very tiny indeed.

All of which is to say at the moment Amazon is happy to sell you OMW  directly, just not a version I get any real payment for. All my other Tor books — the versions I receive royalties for, anyway — still appear to be down across the board. You’ll know when Amazon is no longer screwing with me when all my Tor books once again have “Buy Now” buttons in their mass market paperback (or in the case of Agent and Hate Mail, trade paperback) versions. Those are the versions of my Tor books currently in print. And, of course, when the Kindle versions re-appear.

Likewise, to address other similar posts and e-mails, only Amazon.com is doing this, so all the international affiliates have books, and Amazon’s Audible division is also still selling my audio book versions.

Finally, my non-Macmillan titles are still in Amazon (including The God Engines) and always have been, so their presence doesn’t mean Amazon’s delisting has lifted, it’s just that the book isn’t one of those affected.

I do think all these e-mails and posts make a point about how arbitrary and random this delisting of Amazon’s appears on the consumer side. I mean, heck, all of you here have been aware of this from day one. Imagine what it looks like to normal humans trying to shop on Amazon. The longer this plays out, the worse it is for Amazon’s reputation as a place where you can get anything.

Anyway. That’s the update on that today.

My In-N-Out Double-Double from earlier this evening, before I consumed the hell out of it. You would not have wanted me to take a picture of it after I had done so.

In other news, yes, I’m in California. LA to be precise. Doesn’t my typing look three hours later to you than it normally does?

And now, sleep.

I could really go for an In-N-Out Burger right about now.

(leaves)

Over at AMC this week I have thoughts on the Academy Award nominations, at least as they involve science fiction movies. You know what to do. Remember that I have been, and always will be, your friend.

Q: Hey, you.

A: Hey, me.

Q: How you holding up?

A: Well, I think you know.

Q: I do, but this isn’t meant to be an internal dialogue, asshole.

A: Fair enough. Aside from the fact that the largest online bookseller is continuing to refuse to sell my Tor novels, everything is fantastic. Thanks for asking.

Q: Have you seen some verifiable drops in sales from Amazon’s actions?

A: I had a friend check BookScan for me, it having a tally of my sales through about 70% of the nation’s book retailers, including Amazon. This week six of my seven Tor titles are down in sales, in percentages ranging from low single digits to 30%. Whether those drops are attributable to Amazon’s actions directly is an open question, but I suspect at least some of it is. On the other hand, Zoe’s Tale is up 8% from the previous week. Go me.

Q: How are you feeling about Amazon at the moment?

A: Frankly at this point I’m simply puzzled. It’s been seven days since it yanked Macmillan titles, and five days since it announced that it knew it would eventually have to accept Macmillan’s terms. So that’s five days that Amazon has been punishing a whole range of authors to no particularly good or useful end. I can understand if not condone yanking titles as a negotiation tactic, but when you publicly say you’re going to give in, the major point of your negotiations is done, isn’t it? Everything from that point forward looks like a temper tantrum, and I don’t see how that’s useful in Amazon’s relationships — with its vendors, with authors, with shareholders or with the public, which still can’t buy everything it wants from the store and is realizing it has to go elsewhere for it. In that respect, I imagine other retailers want Amazon’s snit fit to continue, because it’s good for them.

Q: Do you hate Amazon?

My Amazon Prime account suggests that I really don’t. But, you know, look. What this is about to me, and what it’s always been about for me, is the fact that Amazon is punishing authors — a lot of them — for something that fundamentally doesn’t have anything to do with them, that being top-level trade negotiations between two corporate entities. Amazon can choose to do whatever it likes under the law, but admitting “Amazon has a right to do this” doesn’t mean I can’t say “and it’s being dicks to a lot of innocent writers” as well. Both statements are true. As for me, it’s pretty simple: When Amazon reinstates the “buy” buttons to all the Macmillan titles it’s stripped them from, I’ll consider buying something from it again. Until then, I’m taking my personal business elsewhere. I’m not suggesting others have to follow my example. But this is where I’m at.

Q: What do you think of the argument that Amazon is doing consumers a service by fighting to keep eBook prices at $9.99?

A: Leaving aside the fact that eBooks more expensive than $9.99 were already for sale on Amazon before all this, I think Amazon has done a fine job convincing Kindle owners and fans of eBooks that it’s leading this epic struggle for $9.99 for their benefit, and that’s the one PR victory it’s had in this. But I think it’s also not telling the whole story, which is that if Amazon wins the argument that $9.99 is the correct price point for eBooks, than all eBooks will likely be $9.99. Which is to say that if publishers can’t make money above that price point, they’ll recoup it from below. As it happens, my Kindle books all sell — well, sold – for less than $9.99. I’m not entirely convinced, if Amazon has its way, that their cost wouldn’t migrate upward in the aftermath. Amazon has done a fine job of making all its partisans focus on the idea that $14.99 eBooks might be on the horizon; it’s sort of skipped over the idea that $5.99 eBooks might be going away.

Also, you know. I think it’s kind of funny Amazon can initially sell the Kindle at $400, and then eventually drop the price to $259 when it makes sense for Amazon’s business to do so — and yet appears to maintain that the content for the Kindle has to have a single price point.

Q: But some folks say that will never under any circumstances buy an eBook for $9.99.

A: That’s fine with me, just like people only wanting to pay paperback prices is fine with me. I just don’t think there’s a problem in seeing if some people will pay more first. I see a lot of people maintaining the market won’t support eBooks above a certain price point, but the fact some of them also seem militantly unwilling to let the market actually try is a bit weird to me.

Q: There are also people who want to boycott Macmillan and its authors for this.

A: Well, if they own a Kindle, they don’t have a choice whether to boycott or not, do they? Amazon’s already made the choice for them. If people want to personally boycott a publisher or author, that’s one thing, but a retailer using its control of a sales channel to enforce a boycott? Insert your own totalitarian allusion here.

Q: How do you respond to the belief that you’re just a Macmillan sock puppet in this thing?

A: I think it’s kind of funny. To be sure, I make a lot of money from Macmillan (and it makes a lot of money from me), and I’m both fond of the people I work with at Tor and generally happy to be published with them. I have a history with them. On the other hand I have a history with Amazon, too: Folks might recall the METAtropolis audio anthology, which I edited and wrote for. Its original publisher was Audible, which is owned by — anyone? Anyone? It’s owned by Amazon. And you know what, I made a lot of money from that, too, and I’m fond of the people I work with at Audible and am generally happy to be published by them as well. Likewise, I’m also published by Subterranean Press, by Penguin and by Baker & Taylor. The lesson here is that working writers have a lot of business relationships.

I can understand why people want to accuse me of being a Macmillan sock puppet, since my own philosophical stance and personal concerns dovetail into Macmillan’s separate concerns. And if it makes people happy to think that, fine. But out in the real world, it’s me speaking my own mind. It’s not like Macmillan folks are telling me anything more than they’re telling anybody else. I have to scrape for rumors like a common troll.

Q: Well, I think that about wraps up my questions. Anything else you’d like to say?

A: Yes: Folks, remember to keep supporting the authors affected by this. Real people are getting really hurt by this, and they need your help. If you’re in the mood to get a book, consider getting one by a Macmillan author, at bookstores offline and online. It’ll make a difference to them.

Q: Thanks for you time.

A: Thank you. And may I say, you are one excellent interviewer.

Q: Aw, shucks.

CHARACTERS:

ELTON P. STRAÜMANN, a modern-thinking man with exciting ideas
JOHN SCALZI, a humble writer
KRISTINE SCALZI, the wife of a humble writer

ACT I

SCENE OPENS ON STRAÜMANN and SCALZI, standing.

STRAÜMANN: The publishing world is changing! In the future, authors will no longer need those fat cat middle men known as “publishers” to get in the way of their art! It will just be the author and his audience!

SCALZI: Won’t I need an editor? Or a copy editor? Or a cover artist? Or a book designer? Or a publicist? Or someone to print the book and get it into stores?

STRAÜMANN (waves hand, testily): Yes, yes. But all those things you can do yourself.

SCALZI: And I’m supposed to write the book, too?

STRAÜMANN (snorts): As if writing was hard. Now go! And write your novel!

SCALZI goes off to write his novel. STRAÜMANN stands, alone, on stage, for several months. Eventually SCALZI returns, with a book.

STRAÜMANN: You again! What took you so long?

SCALZI: Well, I had write the book. Then I had to edit it, copy edit it, do the cover, do the book design, have it printed, act as my own distributor and send out press releases. It cost me thousands of dollars out of my own pocket and the better part of a year. But look! Here’s the book!

STRAÜMANN (pulls out his electronic reader): I’m sorry, I only read on this.

SCALZI sighs, slinks off the stage.

STRAÜMANN (yelling after SCALZI): And where’s the sequel? Why aren’t you writing more?!?

ACT II

It is A YEAR LATER. SCENE OPENS on STRAÜMANN and SCALZI, standing.

STRAÜMANN: I’m still waiting for that sequel, you know.

SCALZI: I spent all my money last year making that first book. And it didn’t sell very well.

STRAÜMANN (sneers): Well, what did you expect? The editing was sloppy, the copy editing was atrocious, the layout was amateurish and the cover art looked like it was Photoshopped by a dog. Who would want to buy that?

SCALZI (dejected): I know.

STRAÜMANN: Seriously, what were you thinking.

SCALZI: But that’s my point! I want to get professional editing and copy editing and book design and cover art, but I just can’t afford it.

STRAÜMANN (smiles): Scalzi, you naive fool. Don’t you realize that thanks to the current economy we live in, editors and copy editors and artists are desperately looking for work! Surely some of them will work for almost nothing! Scratch that — they’ll work for exactly nothing!

SCALZI: Is that ethical? To get work from people without paying them?

STRAÜMANN: Of course it is. They’ll profit from the exposure.

SCALZI: I don’t think a printer is going to want to be paid in exposure.

STRAÜMANN: Then release the book electronically to skip on all those printing costs!

SCALZI: Yes! And then sell it for a reasonable price!

STRAÜMANN (shrugs): Well, do what you want. I’ll be getting it off a torrent.

SCALZI: What?

STRAÜMANN (brandishing his electronic reader): I paid $300 for this thing! Honestly, how much do you expect me to pay to fill it?

SCALZI: So, pay people nothing to help me create a book I make nothing on, for people who will refuse to pay for it.

STRAÜMANN: I wouldn’t put it that way. But yes.

STRAÜMANN and SCALZI stand for a moment, silent.

SCALZI: I’m trying to remember if you voted for Obama.

STRAÜMANN (snorts): As if I’d vote for a Communist.

ACT III

SEVERAL MONTHS have passed. SCENE OPENS on STRAÜMANN and SCALZI, standing.

STRAÜMANN: Dude, where the fuck is that sequel? I’m dying over here.

SCALZI: Well, I was going to write it, but when I tried to find editors and artists to work on it for free, I kind of hit a road block. The ones who were good wouldn’t work for free, and the ones that were free weren’t good.

STRAÜMANN (rolls his eyes): Well, duh. I could have told you that.

SCALZI: But…

STRAÜMANN: But that’s not important now. What’s important is that we get you writing again.

SCALZI: But I don’t have the money to make another book with professional help, and I don’t have the time to make another book on my own.

STRAÜMANN: As it happens, I have a solution for you. And look, here she is.

ENTER KRISTINE SCALZI from STAGE LEFT.

STRAÜMANN: Mrs. Scalzi, a word, please.

KRISTINE: Yes?

STRAÜMANN: As you may know, your husband is a writer. But he is finding it difficult to do writing recently because of issues of cost and time. I know that you are the organized, financially-minded person in your relationship, so allow me to suggest to you that you become his publisher. While he writes, you locate and pay for an editor, a copy editor, a cover artist, a book designer, a publicist, a printer and a distributor. This will leave him free to focus on his craft, and the sequel I so desire.

KRISTINE: I see. And you propose I fund these people how?

STRAÜMANN: Well, I’m sure I don’t know, Mrs. Scalzi, but I have faith in your ability to do so.

KRISTINE: So to recap, you want me to quit my full-time job and devote all my time to my husband’s career.

STRAÜMANN: Of course not! I never said for you to quit your job. You need the health insurance.

KRISTINE: Ah. Could you come over here for just a second?

STRAÜMANN (walks toward KRISTINE): Yes?

KRISTINE clocks STRAÜMANN in the head, stunning him, then rips off his testicles, stuffs them into his mouth and sets him on fire while he chokes on them. STRAÜMANN dies.

KRISTINE (to SCALZI): You. Find a fucking publisher.

SCALZI: Yes, dear.

CURTAIN FALLS.

And makes it quite nicely here. And in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t have a thing to do with it.

Get hip to the scene, daddy-o: napping on your tum-tums is strictly Squaresville. All the cool cats know back naps are the cat’s meow, you dig? Crazy.