Shiny Happy Scalzi

What’s a good day in the life of John Scalzi? Well, I’ll tell you.

1. The sun is shining.

2. The birds are singing.

3. The clouds in the sky are of the nice, fluffy “we’re just like your four year old would draw” variety, not the dark, brooding “we’re going drop hailstones the size of Volkswagen Beetles on your roof” variety you’ve been seeing so much recently.

4. You’re listening to Sam Bisbee’s “Miracle Car.”

5. You just got a bigass check for work you’d completely forgotten you had done for an amount which quite capably pays off the quarterly estimated tax payment you have to mail off at the end of the week.

6. And you didn’t need that bigass check to pay your taxes.

7. And now you have to decide: Start another chapter of your novel? Or work some more on that book about ridiculous people doing ridiculous things?

8. And in a few hours, your wife and kid will be home, and you’ll go outside and play on the swing set, and be that happy all-American family you’ve heard so much about in all those political ads.

Thankful? Oh, yeah. Happy? You bet. I imagine that life could actually get better. But right off the top of my head, I’m hard pressed to figure out how. It’s a good day.

15 Comments on “Shiny Happy Scalzi”

  1. I am truly, truly jealous. As you contemplate the all-American family scene, I am sitting here in my cubicle in Sodom-on-the-Potomac doing what I laughingly refer to as “protecting the homeland”.

  2. Dear Mr. Scalzi,

    I loathe you. Admittedly, it’s the harmless “reeking with envy though no reason to worry as I’m not the violent type” variety, but still!

    Signed,
    Needing a Spit Polish Kafkaesquí

    P.S. Please make more use of paraphrased R.E.M. titles. I can suggest the following: “What’s The Frequency, Scalzi,” “Scalzi, Lower,” and “Scalzihoga.”

    ——————————————–

    Dear Bill,

    Some day the wall will come down!

    Sincerely,
    {ENCRYPTED}

  3. “I imagine that life could actually get better. But right off the top of my head, I’m hard pressed to figure out how. It’s a good day.”

    One word: Michelobe

    And I’m sure I misspelled that.

  4. Burns! – LA. Not Louisiana. Los Angeles. – More fun than anyone I know. Probably more than anyone you know, too.
    Burns!

    You know, these days I’m pretty damn happy with my life, too. When you put it that way, though, I think yours may be the only life I envy.

    Of course, I got to see Peter Gabriel from the sixth row last night. Sure, it’s no ‘happy family,’ but it’s an okay substitute for the time being.

  5. I demand that you buy an 8′ x 6′ cubicle, put it in a windowless room with a buzzing flourescent light, and do all future work from there. Oh, and your org chart must clearly indicate that you report to both your wife and daughter, with a dotted-line report to your dog. Tomorrow, I move into an 8′ x 7′ cubicle, so I’ll expect your subservience as well. Water my plant, knave!

    did

  6. Here comes the sun, let the sun shine in, for birds in the sky, high above the meadow, serenade this day, that the U.S. Postal Service brought you your Publisher’s-Clearing-House’s check. And what a difference a day can make when the bird-of-happiness perches on your shoulder and the gods did not shet in your face. If the pendulum swings back, its blade will be as sharpe as a gillotine’s edge and sound like an alarm clock, so be nibble and move your brain matter off the wooden chopping block and onto a pillow, for life is great. All hail Johnny Scalzi. Meanwhile, abolish greed, and spare me a dime. Possibly, hello kitty was a fluffy talisman or was the good fortune a direct result, an Occam, of simply restyling your hair, in the true logic of national economics. Of nostalgia, no more hugging quilted teddy bears, in the clear and future horizon.

  7. Welcome to the five percent of the American population who can recognize a “Happy” feeling when it occurs. May it never end.

  8. “Welcome to the five percent of the American population who can recognize a “Happy” feeling when it occurs. May it never end.”

    My thoughts exactly. You have many things in your life to be grateful for. The most important gift you have is that you know it and you let yourself be happy about it. Continue to spread it around!

  9. Hey, shiny sunny! It seems like you are into the music and digital picture thing, so can I ask you a question?

    Because of the lowering cost of digital camcorders and computers, I’ve pretty much got an early Father’s day present consisting of a digital camcorder, and some presumably awesome software for video editting on my computer. The software book weighs more than the camera, at least 3 pounds, so I guess it must be good.

    Anyway, I’ve got some ideas for some projects, just playing around, but I’ve also got a sister-in-law who works full time as a video editor for WCCO TV in Minneapolis. My point of mentioning the second fact is because she has told me that what looks easy can end up being a boatload of work.

    This is all my way of saying I’m not looking to be the next Hitchcock, but what are my chances of making some decent 3-minute movies? It goes without saying I’m talking G rated stuff here. And for that you should ALL be grateful!

    So far the software book has taken me 2 nights to get halfway through, and I figure I’ve only found about 1/4 of the teeny tiny buttons the accursedly small-fingered Japanese have put on the camera.

    Do I have any hope at all, or is this like mastering golf, which I’ve already given up on?

  10. Tripp asks:

    “So far the software book has taken me 2 nights to get halfway through, and I figure I’ve only found about 1/4 of the teeny tiny buttons the accursedly small-fingered Japanese have put on the camera.

    Do I have any hope at all, or is this like mastering golf, which I’ve already given up on?”

    I think you have a pretty good chance of mastering the basics fairly quickly. Doing more than the basics will take more of an investment of time. Fiddle with it some more and you’ll figure out the level of competence you’ll need to do what you want to do. But I think you should be able to figure it out.

    Golf. Ick.

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